Birth Control

yeliza h

I picked up birth control pills today and cried in the car for about 20 mins. I should be getting my period in the next couple weeks and wanted to be prepared (I am a planner). Our pregnancy was unplanned and FH wants to wait until he finishes school next year. I cried because pregnancy just isn't the same any more. I realized the difficulty of TTC, I realize that people can lose your child at any stage of pregnancy. I realize now that when people talk about the miracle of birth, that it really is a miracle. Just because you get pregnant, doesn't mean you get a baby. Just because we start trying next year, doesn't mean I will conceive right away, and if I conceive right away it doesn't mean I will take home a baby.

The reality of pregnancy...

lavril

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 I know exactly what you mean.  I never fully appreciated what a miracle it is.  Next pregnancy, I will have such a different perspective and appreciate every second I get with my growing baby. 

Good luck to you!

fireflies0306

I am so sorry yan--not only did we not get to take our babies home and raise them, we were also robbed of the innocence and joy of pregnancy and motherhood.  Nothing is the same, and we realize so much more now how fragile and uncontrolled pregnancy is.  But try to stay positive, and focus on your upcoming wedding and your FH finishing school.  I know its so hard to believe right now, but everything will work out.

My daughter's teacher told me a week before christmas how she had been given a book by her mother about reincarnation.  She rolled her eyes, and then began to read it.  She shared with me that she was hesitant about the reincarnation mindset, but then some of the points in the book rang true when she finally had her DS and DD (6yrs later after 4 m/c's, one of which was twins at 13w).  Her son was in the kitchen telling his grandmother how he came to visit his mom one time, but God said he wasn't ready, and had to go back to heaven.  The grandmom couldn't get any more info than that out of him.  But the book also goes on to talk about how those we love that are in heaven do communicate with our loved ones here with us...and i know there have been plenty of times in my family where a cousin makes a comment or tone like my grandfather whom they never met.  But DH and I take comfort in the fact that maybe our son (your daughter) just wasn't ready, and maybe in a year, she will be ready to come meet us.  {{big hugs}} i know its so hard, but try not to get discouraged!!!

yeliza h

Thanks Ladies! Even though I am a Christian for some reason I always believed in reincarnation...it caused me comfort when I had my first early miscarriage. I guess I can try to put all my energy in planning my wedding...