My story

ciclon01

First if someone can remind me how to change my tickers that would be great!  I seem to have forgotten everything.

I have read several posts on this board and since many of you have inspired me and talking about my son is one of the few things that bring me joy these days I thought I would share my story.

My husband and I underwent IVF in order to conceive and were blessed to get pregnant after our first cycle.  We were so happy!  I felt great, worked out, watched what I ate and was in love with my belly and my baby.  I went to my 20 week detailed anatomy sonogram and was told that I was having a boy and that he was perfect!  But that it looked liked I was having contractions and they wanted me to come back in two weeks for a follow-up.  Two weeks later I walked into my appointment and was told that my cervix was funneling and I was immediately admitted to Labor and Delivery and placed on strict bed rest.  We spoke with 5 doctors and struggled to decide if we should attempt a cerclage or remain on bed rest and hope that my water did not break.  The doctors decided to monitor me overnight and see if the membranes moved back by the morning.  The following morning I was told that my water had already broken.  I was induced and delivered my son Mateo Orlando Jackson at 8:17pm on December 17th.  We baptised him, took pictures with NILMDTS and held him until he passed away at 9:02pm.  Mateo was 15.9 ounces and 13 inches long.  We had his funeral January 5th and were truly moved by the number of family and friends who attended.  I am so happy that I took the time to plan and prepare a funeral, it gave me many small chances to be Mateo's mother. This is the message my husband sent to our family and friends on Decmber 19th along with a picture of the imprints of Mateo's feet the hospital gave us: "

Family and Friends,

This Friday Monica and I lost our son. Mateo Orlando Jackson was born on December 17th 2010 at 8:17 pm, 4 months prematurely. We held him in our arms as he took his last breaths. Although our adorable little man came and left us far too soon, he has had and will continue to have a major impact on our lives and will always be remembered.

Rest in peace Mateo. Mommy and Daddy love you very much. We will see you again.

Vane5/06

sorry for your loss. hugs!

stader

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband's message had me in tears. I will keep you in my prayers. 

To change the ticker, click on My Profile then edit my profile. It's easy to see on the nest page at the top right of the page. 

lauren.cus

This is such a beautiful and heart wrenching story. I cannot imagine having to hold my son while I watched him breathe his last breaths. You are a strong woman and mother. Thank you so much for sharing with us. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to find peace in telling your story.

ekmOC

I am so sorry for your loss.  He will always be your first born son, never to be forgotten.  I loved your message, and I believe you will see him again.  

Fallon621

awww Hun I am so sorry you lost your precious little boy.  This post def has me in tear as a PP said.   So sad this suc*s big time!  ((HUGS))

LDW80

I am so sorry for your loss.  As PP have said you are a strong woman and I admire you for that.  Mateo will always be with you, will always be your firstborn, will always be your son.  You will see him again one day and be with him eternally.  You and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers.  Although there are no words to make this feeling of loss ever go away just know that the ladies here are an amazing support and know what you have gone through and that you are NOT alone.