Scared to get back to life

MegMeg0913

I had my second loss in December and I am only 24.  My first was a MC and this one was an ectopic.  My doctor released me to go back to work on Monday, and I find myself scared to go.  I don't want to deal with the questions, the advice (somehow it is always from people who have never had to deal with this EVER) and the emotions of people I know don't understand.  Most of all, I don't want to cry.

I have been avoiding babies and pregnant women like the plague.  I am not at a point where I am truly happy for people yet. Everyday, I will have to work next to a girl who is visibly pregnant.

I am not sure how to deal with this.  I am so scared that people won't understand why this is still affecting me so much.  

Any suggestions on how to get through?

lauren.cus

I'm so sorry hun. Is there any way you can take more time off work? Just because your doctor says you're physically able to go back, does not mean it is time for you to return. I took an entire week off. I can't tell you how much I needed it. I was still incredibly anxious the night before I returned, but I knew at that point I was ready to face it. If you can't take more time off then I would suggest just going at the pace you need. Do not think you can just jump right back into normal. You will need time to cry, time to be angry, time to avoid pregnant ladies like the plague. If you're able, take time to run to the bathroom and cry or go sit in your car when you just need a break. I'm sure your boss will understand you needing to ease back into things.

As anxious as I was to return, it really did help me to get back into the swing of things. I'd had the time I needed to grieve in solitude, so it was nice to have something to distract my mind. I hope it goes well. Please update us. We're all praying for you and thinking of you as you make the return

clarks415

I am so sorry you are going through another loss I just went back to work Wednesday. I could have gone back Monday, but felt starting a shorter week maybe better for me. I don't work with anyone who is pregnant - thank goodness. I am sure that will be very difficult. My best advice would be to try to avoid that person if at all possible. And as for the people who want to talk about it, simply say I am not ready to talk about it. They will get the point. I have had to do that with people. 

I tried to stay busy, which is easy with my job. If it is not with yours I would recommend numbing your mind. Either with window shopping online, doing crosswords, anything you can pretty much hide if your boss passes by. I know I had to numb my mind before I felt strong enough to handle it.

GL - Please let me know how you are doing and how it goes.