Lurker with a few questions...

Daisy77

Hello!  I'm typically over on the SAHM board, but I had a question that I think would get answered over here a little better.

My SIL is dating a guy who recently revealed that he was stripped of his rank (Navy) and that he may have been dishonorably discharged (he wasn't clear).  SIL is fighting her ex for sole custody of our niece and I fear this information may hurt her case if she isn't fully aware of what truly happened (but if her ex gets ahold of it...he's abusive and he would find and use something like this against her).  I just don't want her to have it sprung on her in court and I don't think the boyfriend would be honest with the fear of scaring her away....

I have searched online and can't seem to find anything clear and upfront.  Maybe I'm just searching for the wrong terms. But what I have read-in multiple places-doesn't sound good (like why he can't get a job or that he shouldn't be permitted to carry a firearm).

Would anyone have any information (maybe a website?) or could tell me just what it means?  Does a dishonorable discharge and being stripped of your rank typically go together?  Or can you have one but not the other?  Does it vary between the different branches of the military?  I have friends/family in the military, but not in the Navy.

Sorry for all the newbie questions!  TIA for any info you can give me... 

SarahTx5701

I think your sister should run from this dude. You have to seriously screw up to be stripped of your rank and discharged like that.

She needs to sit down and find out exactly what happened and if he's not honest than I wouldn't risk custody or her daughter on some guy.

I'm so sorry she is dealing with that but I would definetly require any man who is with me and possibly my children lay all his cards on the table and be 100% honest.

DuckLover

You can loose rank but not be discharged and vice versa.

 But, like  PP said I would tell you sister to run far far away from this guy.  Getting a dishonorable discharge requires a huge eff up.

Examples of loosing rank...failing a piss test and getting a DUI.  Both are stupid things. 

He needs to be completley honest with her and if he can't be then that raises a red flag for me.

cearleyjay

AD navy here. 

in the navy if you get dishonorable discharge, they also strip your rank.  all the things i can think of that come along with a dishonorable discharge are things like drugs, drinking problem (if they send you to SARP numerous times and still dont stop), stealing, rape (we had a guy on our ship that was accused of rape in the civilian world and she took it back. the navy still didnt care.  he is sitting in our brigg waiting to get a D.Ded), and just being an overall dirtbag (we had a guy get D.Ded because he refused to show up on time. another because he was dirty). 

getting D.Ded is a huge deal and i would not be around someone that was.

goldielux1176

Hubby said this is usually BIG crimes...like prison type crimes...rape, murder, BAH fraud, etc.

Daisy77

Thank you ladies! 

This boyfriend is just odd and nobody in DH's family really cares for him at all.  Even DH's uncle (who is awesome and just doesn't have a bad word to say about anyone) gets a weird vibe from him.

I spoke to my MIL and brought this up, she is going to speak to my SIL.  She agrees that at the very least, they need some honesty from this boyfriend.  I guess he's on thin ice with SIL the way it is, this would probably be the last straw.  Lying about something that serious (which could reflect on SIL's choices) just isn't going to fly.  

Thanks again! 

Bexx24

SarahTx5701:

I think your sister should run from this dude. You have to seriously screw up to be stripped of your rank and discharged like that.

She needs to sit down and find out exactly what happened and if he's not honest than I wouldn't risk custody or her daughter on some guy.

I'm so sorry she is dealing with that but I would definetly require any man who is with me and possibly my children lay all his cards on the table and be 100% honest.

 

 

Ditto

Bexx24

SarahTx5701:

I think your sister should run from this dude. You have to seriously screw up to be stripped of your rank and discharged like that.

She needs to sit down and find out exactly what happened and if he's not honest than I wouldn't risk custody or her daughter on some guy.

I'm so sorry she is dealing with that but I would definetly require any man who is with me and possibly my children lay all his cards on the table and be 100% honest.

 

 

Ditto

Bexx24

SarahTx5701:

I think your sister should run from this dude. You have to seriously screw up to be stripped of your rank and discharged like that.

She needs to sit down and find out exactly what happened and if he's not honest than I wouldn't risk custody or her daughter on some guy.

I'm so sorry she is dealing with that but I would definetly require any man who is with me and possibly my children lay all his cards on the table and be 100% honest.

 

 

Ditto