s/o our DHs...

thebeadinglady

Does anyone else's DH still try and get more sex by saying it will help with getting pregnant?

My DH brings it up whenever I get upset about something IF related. The most recent was a couple days ago when I got all depressed b/c a bunch of girls on FB were talking about how they were going to try and get PG in Feb. so they could shoot for 11/11/11 babies.  I was crying and he hugs me and says "We just need to try harder, like every other day instead of just once or twice a week." I finally got fed up with it and read him the riot act. You would think after going through all this for two years he would get that it isn't going to happen by just having sex. I know he doesn't mean anything by it and was probably trying to make me laugh, but it pisses me off when he insinuates I am not trying hard enough.

madelyn07

Ugh, that sucks. Good for you for filling him in, though!

 

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

MSaksa

DH uses that line ALL.THE.TIME. It drives me crazy. And I agree with you also Madelyn...I don't feel attractive when taking all these meds

thebeadinglady

madelyn07:

Ugh, that sucks. Good for you for filling him in, though!

 

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

I am sorry hun. I know the not feeling attractive thing all too well. I think when we switched from TI to IUI it took a lot of the pressure off our sex lives and it got a lot better for a little while. But once the IUIs kept failing I started feeling more and more like 'What's the point?'

Now that I am so focused on losing weight all I can see is what is wrong with my body, which I never used to think about. Thankfully DH and I only have one day of uninterrupted time together a week, and on the other 6 days we only see each other for an hour before having to rush off to work, so I am not even sure if we would have sex more than once a week if we had the opportunity.

kdussault

madelyn07:

Ugh, that sucks. Good for you for filling him in, though!

 

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

I agree with all you said. my DH doesn't ask frequently but when he does and I say no he gets upset. it's not because he thinks it will help get pregnant, he gets that piece, but simply because we don't do it enough. he doesn't understand the loss of interest we get going through the meds and all - I hardly ever want to do it anymore

NicoleeBonsai

madelyn07:

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

me too. sorry we're all in the same boat, but also reassuring that i'm not the only one... f'ing IF sucks.

vanessagorc

madelyn07:

Ugh, that sucks. Good for you for filling him in, though!

 

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

Saldy DH and I are in the EXACT same boat too

SweetDahlia

My DH doesn't really do that. Sorry he makes you feel bad. I actually hear more from family that we just need to try harder, anyone who says/thinks that sucks to me, but I am sure he doesn't mean it. I think he just wants more sex. Since that's what most guys want.
IF had hurt us too. I never want to do it anymore and he does, but has never been one to initiate so we just never do it. We both know that we will never get a BFP that way.

Oh and that all 11/11 thing totally pisses me off. I already looked that up on one of those IVF dute date pages, our 4th anniversary is 2/17 and it would actually have to happen 2/18, so it makes me super ass sad that how cool would that have been. But I bet a lot of people will try that and who wants their kids to have the same b-day as half their class.--sorry side rant.

Hopefully he stops saying that to you.

illinigal

Sorry dear.  My DH knows better than to suggest anything crazy like more sex.

DeputiesWife

DH says that we need to do it more frequently - this is purely for his benefit!! It clearly hasnt worked but he said he can dream!

And my DH does the same thing -- whenever we get a BFN, or someone else pops up preggers he says teh same thing and in the heat of the moment i get p*ssed and cry. I feel the same, that i am NOT trying hard enough, something.

and you are right - I dont think he meant anything by it.

I have read the same - and you knwo what angers me is half the people who posted that will probably get their 11.11.11 baby

babylove0511

madelyn07:

Ugh, that sucks. Good for you for filling him in, though!

 

Honestly...for us...no. I think he truly knows having sex won't give us a baby..he gets that we are so far past that. And, truth be told, IF has really hurt our sex life. I just never feel like it. I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like I really have anything to offer him in terms of that so, well, I don't. 

 

sad, but true. i feel so unattractive =(