Bad night update

StarlitRN

Thanks for letting me vent last night ladies! It stinks not having anyone IRL to vent to.

I had a long talk with DH this morning about everything and he was doing a little better. It is hard for him because he is so hands on with DD. He does a ton of playtime & daddy/daughter outings with her....and she still screams. We are lucky in that he only works 3 nights a weeks so we are all together 5 days a week (he sleeps the other 2 days). We talked about the expectations he had when she was born...many were unrealistic. We talked about so much when I was pregnant but I guess I didn't really take into account that he hasn't spent much time with infants. I'm a NICU nurse so newborn/infants traits are second nature to me!   He thinks there should be a men's bump somewhere! Haha! 

It also came out this morning that he is really stressed about his upcoming training (military). He will be away for 4+weeks and he feels that she won't remember/like him when he comes home. He knows it is silly.....but we all know how the mommy/daddy mind works! It will be his first seperation from DD since she was born.

At this point he is trying to "keep his chin up" and hope that things turn around soon (I told him some of the stories you ladies wrote about your LOs). Luckily DD has a really good day today and they had fun running errands together. I keep telling DD she better shape-up if she ever wants a little brother/sister!

He loves DD to pieces....I can only imagine how I would feel if I was being "rejected" every day. Logically he knows she is only 6mo old, but we know how it feels like "in the future" will never come! I feel so bad for him. I spent the entire day saying Da-da to DD! Little chica needs to throw the boy a bone!

 

glasgow_girl

It is hard to believe that things will get better - because it could happen today, tomorrow or 4 more months down the road.

Our DD is fussier with DH than with me - and I think he realizes that it's because I was there 24/7 with her in the beginning, and other than daycare, I am her primary caregiver. 

He is making much more of an effort now to have things that they do together, just them, and I know that one day she'll be a daddys girl (I was big time), but it's that "one day" that I know DH struggles with occasionally.

Big hugs all round - being a parent is so different, Fantastic, but different!

Quazel

I am so glad you guys talked!  It sounds like your DH is a both a wonderful dad and a wonderful person.  This must be so hard on him and I am sure being away is sure scary.  My bro was a Marine for 12 years, being away from his kids was terrible.  I hope those 4 weeks fly by for you guys!

BlondeBeachBride08

That's rough. Q is of with DH when she's awake but if I'm home she'll look for me the whole time she's with him which is frustrating for him. I often hear "Quinn, look at Daddy!"

He's usually able to put her down for naps, which is good, except he's never around for naps. At night? Forget about it. She escalates as soon as she sees him and does the crying till she chokes thing that you talked about. That's frustrating and disappointing for both of us because bedtime is where I need the most help (the only time of day he CAN help) and he wants to be able to help. 

My only advice is just to keep trying and keep giving him fun things to do with her. If you do start taking her to a class can you go together and have him take the lead? Or have him take her by himself?

I want to start having DH have more one on one time with Q but on the weekends I really like for us all to be together so I don't usually leave them.

We'll figure it out! Someday they're going to be kicking us out of their bedrooms because they want Daddy! It will happen!