saying goodbye to my baby

sweetness4321

i am pregnant with my and my husband biological baby and when i was five months preg. my brother in law told me he was going to adopt a baby but how he always wanted a bloodchild so i offered him the option to adopt my baby  which is due tomarrow 1/5/11 its a boy and he was excited i havent changed my mind or anything i just want to know if its ok for me to hold the baby and tell him i love him before we all depart from the hospital i know im strong enough to do this i just dont want to make them feel uncomftable if hold him im letting my brother in law and wife in the delivery room they will be in my room afterwords too and weve already takin care of almost all paper work they go to every appt with me i just need to know if its ok for me to hold him or if it would be to uncoftable for them........

Go_Dawgs

Of course it is okay!  Just tell your in laws and hospital staff ahead of time that you want to hold him for a while so everyone knows what to expect.  We were completely comfortable with whatever our birth mother wished.  Ours wanted me to hold the baby first, and she held him after my husband and I both held him for a while.  However, if she had wanted to be the first to hold him, that would have been okay, too!

MrsKolasa

I admire your concern for your in laws.

I am here to say, OF COURSE it's ok for you to hold him and love him and spend time with him before he leaves the hospital. He is your baby too. Please take all the time you need to help you through the process.

Luke's birthmom wanted to spend time alone with him in the hospital and we totally understood. Please tell your social worker or a nurse so they can ensure that this happens.

Again, do whatever you need to do. You are so sweet for even being concerned.

Sending you love and hugs.

jehnm

At one point I counseled birthmoms and we always encouraged them to hold the baby after birth and say hello and goodbye.  You will likely need that time to help you emotionally.  We don't have a baby yet, but I hope our birthmom does spend time with the baby after birth.  You are very sweet to consider the feelings of the inlaws. 

I hope everything goes well with the delivery and that it is a special time for your entire family. 

FinallyMrs.G

Absolutely!! Spend time with your baby. Our birthmother held DD right after giving birth and quite a bit afterwards as well. We all spent the next 24 hours in her hospital room together as the hospital didn't have anywhere to put DH and I so our BM wanted us to stay with her and DD because it was important to her that we cared for DD from birth on but I always made sure she had the time with her that she needed. I wish you luck!

Floridamom224

I agree that it is okay to hold your baby!  I would talk with the nurse and tell them your plan, because they have a social worker on staff that can help you lay this all out. This way, you and your brother both know what to expect when the baby is born.  Good luck!