TLC's Pregnant at 70

robynlesley

There's this show on right now, about women getting pregnant after menopause with the help of IVF.

I have to say that I think it's totally selfish to do something like that. While I have no issue with using reproductive assistance during childbearing years or if a woman goes into early menopause (before mid/late 40s). I think if a woman wants to be a mother, she should be able to use science to her benefit.

But to have a child?not spontaneously/naturally?after 50 via IVF... it just seems so wrong to me.

There have been many "how old is too old" posts on the Bump.  Some younger women here have even said they wouldn't have a child over 35.  And I've never wanted to set an age limit on this, but I think I have one now.  If a woman has gone through menopause at the "normal" age for that (@50, right?) it should be a sign that their time has passed.

kimisuejoia

It's hard, because I can relate to the feeling of being willing to go to extreme measures for a baby- but I do agree with you that at some point enough is enough. I'm just not sure where that line should be drawn and who should be the one to draw it...

With advances in health and medicine age is no longer a concrete number. I've seen 50 year olds who were in better health and will most likely outlive some 30 year olds I know. 

 

LyndaCarter

I have to think of the child that will be losing their parents when they are very young. I love having my parents around for support, advice and help with raising my own children. I can't imagine going through this rollercoaster without them around. If they had waited until their 50's or more to have me, I would very likely not have them around for any of this. That's the part that I think is tragic. A 70 year old woman having a baby may not be alive to see that child reach age 11 (average life span in the US is 80 for women). Sad is what that is.

Then getting into the health issues of an aging body taking on such a dramatic change. It's just plain dangerous for child and mother. Not a risk I would ever be willing to take.

carladillon

While I try not to judge, I have major concerns with this.  Although, there is a lot of info I don't have either - is she carrying this child for someone else, or for herself?  (i.e. I've seen where mother's will carry a baby for their daughter if she is unable to do so herself).  What state of health is she in?  WHY does she want to do this?  I also question the ethics of any medical professional that would consent/assist in this endeavor.  Being pregnant is so draining - and involves so many hormones.  I'm no expert, but after you've passed menopause for - lets say, 20 years - I'm thinking your hormone production is different.  How does being pregnant at 70 affect those hormones - or lack of - and how does that affect the baby's development?  So many questions....

robynlesley

This is the blurb from TLC:

Modern fertility treatment enabled 70-year old Rajo Devi to have her first child; 58-year-old Sue Tollefesen was thrilled when she became Britain's Oldest Mum; In America, a blind 64-year-old Janise Wulf has toddlers aged three and six.

I don't know... I just have a negative view about this. I completely understand the desire to be a parent. But I think there has to be a point in time when you say it's not meant to be.  And I don't think that's in your 30s or 40s. I think when the average age in the U.S. for menopause is 51 (I looked it up) perhaps that should be the cutoff age for reproductive assistance.  

M.Amy

Like PPs I am trying not to judge especially since I never had fertility problems.  However, I personally could not support a 70 year old woman giving birth just like I would not support a 70 year old man (which is way more common) becoming a father.

ateytelb

M.Amy:

Like PPs I am trying not to judge especially since I never had fertility problems.  However, I personally could not support a 70 year old woman giving birth just like I would not support a 70 year old man (which is way more common) becoming a father.

How abour extraordinary men? E.g. Saul Bellow had a baby in his 80's.

vanverth

ateytelb:

M.Amy:

Like PPs I am trying not to judge especially since I never had fertility problems.  However, I personally could not support a 70 year old woman giving birth just like I would not support a 70 year old man (which is way more common) becoming a father.

How abour extraordinary men? E.g. Saul Bellow had a baby in his 80's.

The problem is that men continue to make sperm all throught their lifespan.  Women are born with all the eggs they are ever going to have and the older you get, the older those eggs get.  There is some question in the medical field about the ethics of assisting a woman who is significantly past menopause to have children.  Some doctors think that those fertility specialists are acting unethically. 

I had pangs having a baby at 40 with Tim being 47. 

robynlesley

vanverth:

ateytelb:

M.Amy:

Like PPs I am trying not to judge especially since I never had fertility problems.  However, I personally could not support a 70 year old woman giving birth just like I would not support a 70 year old man (which is way more common) becoming a father.

How abour extraordinary men? E.g. Saul Bellow had a baby in his 80's.

The problem is that men continue to make sperm all throught their lifespan.  Women are born with all the eggs they are ever going to have and the older you get, the older those eggs get.  There is some question in the medical field about the ethics of assisting a woman who is significantly past menopause to have children.  Some doctors think that those fertility specialists are acting unethically. 

I had pangs having a baby at 40 with Tim being 47. 

 

My point, I think, was better explained by you, vanverth. It's the reproductive assistance that I'm concerned with. If a woman got pregnant with no medical intervention at age 50 (possible?) then I would believe it was meant to be. But to go through rounds of IVF at age 58 and older ...  I think there's a problem with that.

Perhaps my post would have been best saved for unpopular opinion Thursday? 

 

ateytelb

robynlesley:

My point, I think, was better explained by you, vanverth. It's the reproductive assistance that I'm concerned with. If a woman got pregnant with no medical intervention at age 50 (possible?) then I would believe it was meant to be. But to go through rounds of IVF at age 58 and older ...  I think there's a problem with that.

Perhaps my post would have been best saved for unpopular opinion Thursday? 

I agree wholeheartedly with your point on medical intervention after the age of 50 (for the woman). Guess my H and I are the oldest couple here in terms of our combined age. I am 41, he is 52 and we have a 2-month-old baby. We wouldn't have gone for IVF if it had not worked out naturally. It did, so we figured it's meant to be. The other question is, is it fair to the child that his parents are so much older than average? (Even w/o medical intervention). Donno the answer. At least, we are not 70 and don't have any major health problems. I hope we stay this way the longer the better.

NewMrs07

Personally I would stop at 42, and I have to agree, having kids over 50 is just not right. It's one thing to have fertility issues in your 30s and early 40s. If that's the case I'm all for IVF and all that, but after menopause? I don't think so. 

P.G.&A.M.

Boy I don't know where the cut off line should be for having babies, but 70 y.o. seems way beyond when people should be having babies. I'm exhausted and sore being 36 y.o. and pregnant. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I were 70 y.o.! Plus the probability of seeing the child make it into adulthood isn't great. Where does that leave the child then?

indianasunshine

I agree that it's really unfair to the child.  I know that we all can leave this world at any time as my father passed away when I was only 3 and he was only 32.  My situation is fairly unusual, but a 70 year old woman will likely not be around when her child graduates from high school.  That is heartbreaking!  

M.Amy

My concern with 70+ parents is how long would the parents be alive to raise the child?  No child is guaranteed that their parents will be alive until they are adults no matter how young their parents, but it seems much less likely in that situation.

stever

M.Amy:

My concern with 70+ parents is how long would the parents be alive to raise the child?  No child is guaranteed that their parents will be alive until they are adults no matter how young their parents, but it seems much less likely in that situation.

This.