Parenting

would you have expected them to tell you?

DD has a red mark right under the end of her eyebrow. I tried to touch it and she freaked out saying that it hurt. I asked her what happened and she said "Jackson hit me with his shoe." Jackson is a kid in her class that is always being a little S when I am at her school. I asked her if it was by accident or if he was just being mean and she said he was being mean. She then told me her teacher helped her so she obviously saw it/knew about it. DD has to sit next to Jackson when they do storytime (their spots are next to each other) which is at the end of class. I am sure that is when it happened because my mom who picked DD up said he was in "time-out" when she picked her up. DD is very mellow/shy kid so I know her and Jackson don't play together and there is no way she provoked getting hit or kicked in the face.

I wish the teacher had said something to me or my mom when she picked her up. I suppose maybe there was no mark when she was at school but I feel like anytime there is an instance of a kid being physical with another, it should at least be mentioned to the parents especially in an instance where a boy hits a tiny girl?

Just a little pissed I guess and wondering if I'm overreacting...I suppose I will have to get the school's version of the story. Just wish they would have mentioned it to me!!

Re: would you have expected them to tell you?

  • EVERY time a kid is aggressive with another kid?????

    You'd have a report probably every day.....I mean, crap, my kids are rough with each other every day...not always in a mean way, usually playing, having fun and someone gets hurt....but sometimes they get angry and aggressive.

    I'm guessing it wasn't red and they didn't think anything of it....

  • EMTEMT member
    imageNewNameSameGame:

    EVERY time a kid is aggressive with another kid?????

    You'd have a report probably every day.....I mean, crap, my kids are rough with each other every day...not always in a mean way, usually playing, having fun and someone gets hurt....but sometimes they get angry and aggressive.

    I'm guessing it wasn't red and they didn't think anything of it....

    Yeah that is what I was wondering about :). DD is not at all physical...so I'm wondering if my expectations are out of whack.

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  • At my daycare, they would have written an incident report and given it to me at pick up.  I'd be annoyed, but not by the fact that he's a boy and she's a girl. 
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
  • our teacher would likely not tell my mom or anyone else that picked up DS.

    hopefully the teacher will tell you what happened. sorry your DD was hurt :(

  • Our daycare issues an "ouch report" for any injury.  It describes the circumstances of the injury and the treatment applied. (without naming names if it was caused by another child)  I need to sign a copy of it when I go to pick up DD.  So, based on my experience---yes, they should have mentioned it to your mother.  

    Before getting pissed, however, I'd talk to them in the morning and get the details.   

    They also have an "oops report" that is completed if your child misbehaves in a serious manner (such as hitting another child and causing an injury)   

  • I would hope they would but idk. A kicked her friend while they were playing and her teacher never mentioned it to me (A did). I walked her in the next day and made her apologize. I know it's a reverse situation but I guess they don't always feel it's an issue depending on how it was dealt with at the time and the severity, if that makes sense.
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  • " I suppose maybe there was no mark when she was at school"

    This is very likely.  It is too much to ask to report every push and shove little kid do in a day.  I had a injury from yesterday, that this morning looked like nothing.  Now it looks like I was beaten by Mike Tyson.   Sometimes those things take a bit to come up.  I would not be mad.  The teacher likely didn't think it was a big deal, especially if the kid is normally a S.  I would tell the teacher kindly that your DD was injured, so she watches Little S more carefully.

  • imageNewNameSameGame:

    EVERY time a kid is aggressive with another kid?????

    You'd have a report probably every day.....I mean, crap, my kids are rough with each other every day...not always in a mean way, usually playing, having fun and someone gets hurt....but sometimes they get angry and aggressive.

    I'm guessing it wasn't red and they didn't think anything of it....

    my kid's teacher is the most easygoing person -- but she would def tell me if my kid was whacked in the head by a shoe thrown intentionally by another student. (Actually, she'd mention it very casually if it was done accidentally but left a mark or left my child really upset).

  • #6#6 member

    Our preschool has to HAS to fill out an accident report for everything.  It would include what your dd was doing before, what actually happened, what was done for your dd as to fix the booboo and what action was taken against the other child.  (Our preschool doesnt allow TOs but does have a cool down chair they "encourage" naughty kids to sit in.)  It then says if there is a mark, where and how they calmed her down if she was upset/crying.   

    I would be upset if my child came home with a mark and he/she saying the teacher knew but I have no letter or anything.

    L is in K and a little girl pulled his chair out from under him and he fell and hit his head.  I was called immediately with a report from the nurse that he was fine but upset.  I was then sent home an accident report similar to what the preschool does. 

    I would make a point to bring it up at drop off the next time you take her.

     

  • If a child was hit near their eye with an object requires an incident report to be completed by teacher and signed by whomever picks them up.
  • If it left a mark, then I definitely would expect it to be mentioned.

    W's school is really good about sending home "boo-boo reports."  

    I would be pissed too, especially if it's enough for her to say it hurts.

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  • EMTEMT member

    I'm going to try not to get pissed but I think getting hit in the eye/face by a shoe (presumably in his hand) is a bit more serious that a little push???

    IDK, I called my mom to ask her if they had mentioned it to her and she just called me back kind of upset to say she doesn't think that I should wait until Wed (when DD goes back to school) and thinks I should go in tomorrow and talk to the director. My mom has also noticed this kid is always in trouble.

    I think we are both upset because DD would NEVER react physically (even with her own brother) and she is small. That is probably why she gets sat next to him because she is the least likely to react to him.

     

  • Yes, I would expect them to tell me.  I don't think him being a boy and her being a girl has anything to do with it, but if one kid hauls off and whacks another with his shoe without any provocation, that's a big deal-- especially at their age, where they definitely know better.  I've been given incident reports and phone calls for much less.

     I also think aggression between siblings is a little different than aggression at school.  My kids are way more physical with each other (both playfully and otherwise) than they are with other kids.  Not that it's ok for my kids to hit each other, but for some reason it seems like a bigger deal if another kid is involved and it happens when I'm not around.

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  • EMTEMT member

    I guess I keep bringing up the boy/girl thing because this kid probably outweighs DD by 15 lbs and has 6 inches on her. What a bully!! (I know I KNOW he's only four)

    I think I will ask that they move her storytime spot. I told her that if he's being mean she can just stay away from him and she said "I can't; I sit next to him." :(

     

  • Typically DS's school won't write up a report unless there's clearly a mark left (usually from biting which they take very seriously).  However, they will sometimes mention it if there's an "altercation" wherein one or both parties gets physical in some form or fashion.  For instance, I picked DS up from school one day and heard one of the carpool teachers shout to the principal, "Do you want me to tell his Mom what happened today?" and the principal said yes so it was mentioned but no report was filed.  BUT whenever DS was bitten on the playground and a mark was left I got a report in his bag and the responsible party got a letter sent home and time spent with the principal.  So, I think it's at their discretion whether or not they feel like something warrants a report.  Kids at this age are going to fight/get physical...usually on a daily basis and more likely than not it's the boys doing these things.  I'd just ask the teacher about the mark and ask her how she handled it and I'd probably request that she move your daughter's spot away from the bully just to help protect her from possible future "attacks" hahaha! 
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  • I would expect them to tell me.  Absolutely.  Drew's school has an ouch report for such thing that I have to sign when anything happens.  AND as a kinder teacher, I would definitely tell a parent if something like that had happened.  I, most likely, wouldn't tell the parent who the "hitter" was but I would mention what had happened.  Poor M. :(
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  • I would expect them to tell me. They have to fill out incident reports for everything. DD tripped on her shoe the other day and bumped into the wall. I got an incident report.
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