Keep the vents coming! — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Keep the vents coming!

Especially the juicy inlaw vents! They are my favorite.

Re: Keep the vents coming!

  • I don't have in inlaw vent because I love my MIL, but I do have a vent.

    A "friend" of mine from high school is 23 weeks pregnant with her first baby. She complains all the time how they have no money and they have to live in her parents' basement, but yet everytime she updates facebook, she is always talking about how she just went shopping and bought a bunch of brand new stuff, and how her and her boyfriend just went out to the steakhouse for dinner. Honestly? You can't afford your own apartment, but you can go buy yourself a bunch of stuff. This same friend also asked me if I could save my baby stuff for her so she doesn't have to go buy her LO new stuff, because they can't afford it. Why did you get pregnant if you can't afford to buy your baby anything, or have your own place?


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  • I'll vent about DH.  He is driving me crazy.  He thinks he's an expert on everything, even breastfeeding and I'm sick and tired of him second-guessing, no make that criticizing every little parenting decision I make.  it's like I can't do anything right.  He seeks out every possible opportunity to let me know how and when I mess up, according to him.  Just a minute ago it was that I shouldn't turn on the swing so soon after DS eats or he'll spit up.  In about 5 minutes it'll probably be something else.  And I hate the way he's so negative about EVERYTHING.  Nothing is a success.  I finally got Ds to breastfeed this morning for 10 minutes, after going over a day of refusing completely.  But was he happy?  No, he proceeded to lecture me about how Ds probably didn't get any milk from it except maybe a few drops and how important it is to keep supplementing.  I never said I would stop supplementing- I was just happy that DS finally was able to breastfeed a little.  God forbid my spirits get lifted a little.
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  • I have a MIL vent!!  

    My in-laws are visiting this week and my MIL is the most controlling and domineering person I know.  I have not been allowed to do anything but feed my baby the whole time they've been here, all under the guise of her wanting to give me a break.  I don't need a freaking break from my baby, thank you very much.  I am at loose ends...I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time I'm holding her, MIL comes over and says "Give her to grandma, you need a break".  This morning when I came downstairs after feeding DD, MIL actually said to FIL "Can you watch the baby while I go get dressed?".  Are you serious???  I think I can probably watch my own baby for 5 minutes, thank you very much.  

    I feel like I can't say anything, either, because we had a big blow up last time she was here (long story short, MIL came the day we got home from the hospital with DD and took over everything, making my mom feel like there wasn't room for her.  I finally got pissed off and told MIL that I needed my mom there, not her, so she got mad and left early).  So anyway, that incident created a lot of problems between me and MIL, me and DH, and DH and my parents, so there's some major eggshell walking going on this time.

    I expected that she would want to hold DD a lot, so I planned out some meals, figuring i'd actually have time to cook.  So much for that...she's totally taken over my kitchen as well.  She cooks while I feed DD, or goes out for takeout.  I saved a bunch of Christmas baking and have offered it a couple times, but she just keeps saying "oh, we'll have that later".  Meanwhile, she brought her own baking (store bought stuff) and puts it out on a platter for everyone to eat.  She even sent FIL out to buy rum to replace the stuff they drank, and has washed the towels they used already.  I feel like I'm not being allowed to be a good hostess, but I know she'll go home and *** to her family about how she had to do everything!   

    I just can't believe that someone would have the nerve to behave like this in someone else's home.  She has no idea how to behave like a guest in our home, and it drives me up the wall!  Thank god we're going out tonight and then they are leaving tomorrow. 

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  • I don't have an IL vent but I vented about school yesterday on my month board so if vents entertain you, take a look.

    http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/47145657.aspx 

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  • image MrsSeli:

    I have a MIL vent!!  

    My in-laws are visiting this week and my MIL is the most controlling and domineering person I know.  I have not been allowed to do anything but feed my baby the whole time they've been here, all under the guise of her wanting to give me a break.  I don't need a freaking break from my baby, thank you very much.  I am at loose ends...I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time I'm holding her, MIL comes over and says "Give her to grandma, you need a break".  This morning when I came downstairs after feeding DD, MIL actually said to FIL "Can you watch the baby while I go get dressed?".  Are you serious???  I think I can probably watch my own baby for 5 minutes, thank you very much.  

    I feel like I can't say anything, either, because we had a big blow up last time she was here (long story short, MIL came the day we got home from the hospital with DD and took over everything, making my mom feel like there wasn't room for her.  I finally got pissed off and told MIL that I needed my mom there, not her, so she got mad and left early).  So anyway, that incident created a lot of problems between me and MIL, me and DH, and DH and my parents, so there's some major eggshell walking going on this time.

    I expected that she would want to hold DD a lot, so I planned out some meals, figuring i'd actually have time to cook.  So much for that...she's totally taken over my kitchen as well.  She cooks while I feed DD, or goes out for takeout.  I saved a bunch of Christmas baking and have offered it a couple times, but she just keeps saying "oh, we'll have that later".  Meanwhile, she brought her own baking (store bought stuff) and puts it out on a platter for everyone to eat.  She even sent FIL out to buy rum to replace the stuff they drank, and has washed the towels they used already.  I feel like I'm not being allowed to be a good hostess, but I know she'll go home and *** to her family about how she had to do everything!   

    I just can't believe that someone would have the nerve to behave like this in someone else's home.  She has no idea how to behave like a guest in our home, and it drives me up the wall!  Thank god we're going out tonight and then they are leaving tomorrow. 

    My FIL is like this!  Every time he stays he wants to vacuum, wash dishes, or clean something.  Luckily we get along ok so I just give him a friendly reminder of "hey get outta my kitchen"

    http://www.becauseimattertoo.blogspot.com/
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  • OK - now I have  a DH vent.  The in laws are in town and I'm trying to get DH to help clean.  Not much - just put stuff away.  Does he put it away?  NO he piles it up and moves it to another room.  AAAAAAGH! That's not cleaning! 
    http://www.becauseimattertoo.blogspot.com/
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  • MIL compares our parenting skills/ baby with her parenting skills with her 3 children (including DH of course).  She always says, "well my babies did this or my babies did that".  Well maybe she was good with babies, but really messed them up when they were older. 

    She said that babies were the most control that she had, and she "lost control" when they were 8 or so.  I am thinking why is parenting a "control" issue.  There are so many other more positive things that parenting is/could be. 

  • So if i had a day off I would spend it probably tidying up the house and doing errands, maybe spending sometime to myself. well DH had the day off and what did he do? spent it on his a$$ playing video games. Then I come home and I'm sick, have been sick pretty much all month and I am just worn wragged. I come home crawl in bed - my MIL who has the baby calls and thinks he has a fever because his cheeks are flushed and his armpit temp is 98.4. I told DH (he was on the phone with her) to say that a normal armpit temp is 97.5 to 99.4 (something to that effect) so he is fine. After he got off the phone I asked her what she said to that and he got a snippy tone so I told him just to go (meaning leave the room) if he waas going to act like that. So he f****ing leaves with out telling me where he is going or telling me goodbye. What a fabulous New Years Eve.
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  • image MrsSeli:

    I have a MIL vent!!  

    My in-laws are visiting this week and my MIL is the most controlling and domineering person I know.  I have not been allowed to do anything but feed my baby the whole time they've been here, all under the guise of her wanting to give me a break.  I don't need a freaking break from my baby, thank you very much.  I am at loose ends...I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time I'm holding her, MIL comes over and says "Give her to grandma, you need a break".  This morning when I came downstairs after feeding DD, MIL actually said to FIL "Can you watch the baby while I go get dressed?".  Are you serious???  I think I can probably watch my own baby for 5 minutes, thank you very much.  

    I feel like I can't say anything, either, because we had a big blow up last time she was here (long story short, MIL came the day we got home from the hospital with DD and took over everything, making my mom feel like there wasn't room for her.  I finally got pissed off and told MIL that I needed my mom there, not her, so she got mad and left early).  So anyway, that incident created a lot of problems between me and MIL, me and DH, and DH and my parents, so there's some major eggshell walking going on this time.

    I expected that she would want to hold DD a lot, so I planned out some meals, figuring i'd actually have time to cook.  So much for that...she's totally taken over my kitchen as well.  She cooks while I feed DD, or goes out for takeout.  I saved a bunch of Christmas baking and have offered it a couple times, but she just keeps saying "oh, we'll have that later".  Meanwhile, she brought her own baking (store bought stuff) and puts it out on a platter for everyone to eat.  She even sent FIL out to buy rum to replace the stuff they drank, and has washed the towels they used already.  I feel like I'm not being allowed to be a good hostess, but I know she'll go home and *** to her family about how she had to do everything!   

    I just can't believe that someone would have the nerve to behave like this in someone else's home.  She has no idea how to behave like a guest in our home, and it drives me up the wall!  Thank god we're going out tonight and then they are leaving tomorrow. 

     

    I know this is the last thing you probably want to hear but I wish my SMIL was a little more like that! Even if she trash talks to her family when she gets home, who cares. When she's here, we have to cater to her like a queen.  We cook meals for her or more usually, take her out to restaurants all the time. We need to take her out sightseeing and shopping. I know when they finally" spend time with us and the baby" she'll look at it as a vacation. (My mom was here for a couple of weeks helping me take care of the baby, cooking all the meals, and keeping up with the cooking/cleaning. That's what I want and need!)

    Worst part about SMIL is that she has an opinion on everything but her baby-related knowledge is from the 70s when she had her kids. So yes, I get the silly drink milk so I can make breastmilk. And it moves on to the more troublesome, she expects LO to have been having water regularly and rice cereal. She's the kind of person that I can't leave the baby with to run an errand because she will not care what you or the pediatrician say. :-/

  • image MrsSeli:

    I feel like I can't say anything, either, because we had a big blow up last time she was here (long story short, MIL came the day we got home from the hospital with DD and took over everything, making my mom feel like there wasn't room for her.  I finally got pissed off and told MIL that I needed my mom there, not her, so she got mad and left early).  So anyway, that incident created a lot of problems between me and MIL, me and DH, and DH and my parents, so there's some major eggshell walking going on this time.

     

    OMG this sounds a lot like what i went through...

    after my DD was born, my MIL stayed over to help out. i saw and held my baby twice in TWO days after coming home from the hospital because MIL whisked her away and stayed in the guest room with baby. i blame her for causing my 3-day old baby a diaper rash for slathering on the diaper cream when my baby didn't suffer from a rash. i also blame her for causing me to not breastfeed. we supplemented with formula until my milk came in but she kept DD in her room and by the time i started leaking, DD wouldn't latch because she wasn't sucking on my breasts as much as she did with bottle nipples. i cried so much and was miserable while MIL stayed with us (she intended to stay for 4 weeks) but DH knew how upset I was with the situation so he suggested that she leave at 3 weeks. she would take DD away from my arms saying i need to rest and heal. she probably caused me to heal slower because of the stress. in my culture, i'm not supposed to cry - makes me think it would have been better if MIL didn't come help.

  • FIL gave the kiddo a stuffed animal worm thing that REEKS of pot for Christmas. I almost fell over from the smell when I was opening it.

    I laugh even harder as he kept pushing how amazing this would be to have in the crib for C. yada yada.  What's so funny you ask? The man got DH all in a tizzy because we have bumpers in the bed yet he wants me to shove a stuffed animal(that smell likes weed no less) in my kids face while she sleeps.

    Also, really stupid petty and selfish vent.  I asked Grandparents to just give the kiddo what they'd spend on Christmas and give to her 529 fund. If they had to actually give a physical gift keep it a small one. She needs NOTHING. She just got here a month ago. 

    We both told them this multiple times.  My parents obliged. C got $$, one outfit and some board books from them.  MIL did not. She got a bunch of random baby stuff that C can't wear(flannel PJ's-the kid is a furnace) or stuff that she hates wearing(sleeping gowns). I spent all day running around trying to exchange/return  items.   Some things I have no clue where she got them from so I'm just going to donate them to Goodwill so that someone that needs the stuff can get it.

    However, I will not be taking the weed worm.

    Seriously this thing stinks.

     

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  • I also feel bad for DH. He(with the help of me) really tries to give gifts his family will enjoy.  He was so bummed last night as he doesn't feel the same from his family. 

    They are all just impersonal gifts that don't make sense.  He's not a handy guy but he got 3 *tool* type things from his mom.  His mom still buys him clothes like he's 12.  He's not a little guy and is frustrated with some weight gain right now.  His mom gave him a shirt and a jacket in a size large.  He's got very broad shoulders and the last time he was a large was probably when he was a freshman in HS. 

    I on the other hand got a really cute purse, some hangers, a food scale and some WD 40.

     

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