I should have kept the name to myself. GRRR!

sparkymcgeee

I'm already sick of people telling me what they have decided to call my daughter. We have decided on the name Elizabeth Josephine. I'm not a fan of a lot of the nicknames that come from Elizabeth. We decided if she has a nickname it should be Eliza. Now I realize that as she grows up she will pick whatever nickname she likes. I get that and I'm ok with that but I feel at this point I should be able to tell people that we prefer Eliza over Lizzy or Beth or Liz or whatever.

I just got into a huge debate about this over facebook with my obnoxious know it all cousin. She has named her daughter something awful and doesn't like any of the nicknames that would come naturally  from that name and is adamant that she will call my child who isn't even born yet Lizzy. I politely told her that we prefer Eliza and she said "lol just wait." I told her that she was my child and she should respect my wishes. She said that it doesn't matter what I want and I should just consign myself to the fact. I told her that just as I respected her wishes to not call her daughter what she dislikes she should afford me the same courtesy.

Is it just me or is this just super super disrespectful? This is MY child. I should be able to tell people what I do and do not want my daughter to be called. At least at this point in her life. Like I said if she chooses to go by Lizzy later then that's her choice. It is HER name and she should be able to determine what she likes by her personality but at this point I get to decide right?

 

sleepingbeauty825

I agree that Eliza is the best nickname for Elizabeth.

Please just ignore your friend and call your daughter what you like. YES you get to decide and YES she should respect your wishes but she sounds like the type who is bitter about her own experience and wants to make yours miserable too. Ignore her, she's trying to get a rise out of you.

BEAUTIFUL name!

LMS05

How annoying! Elizabeth is my favorite girl name, but this is my biggest concern! I would only want people to call her Elizabeth. I seriously might not use it because it would bug me so much if/when people shorten it. I'm sorry your cousin is being so rude

sparkymcgeee

KateB1984:

People can be obnoxious. I have a name with many nn options and my parents successfully limited everyone to their preferred nn until I was old enough to sample others for myself (around 8-10 years).

And I love Eliza. It's definitely my favourite nn for Elizabeth, so much that this baby is going to be just Eliza if it's a girl.

I do think you may run into problems though that your nn is 3 syllables. Having a full name with 3 syllables, I'm always irritated at how many people are incapable of saying a name that long, and always always shorten it. I had a telemarketer ask for me by my full name last week and then immediately shorten to my name to a nn I don't use. It's absurd, but it may make it more difficult to convince people to conform.

I suggest you come up with an obnoxious, even made-up, nn for your cousin's name and insist on calling her that. If she wants nns to be a free-for-all, be obnoxious back.

I tried to be obnoxious back to drive the point home. She named her daughter Cautriona. Pronounced Caught-re-anya. Its awful. She told everyone up front that she didn't like Cat and didn't like Riona. The two that make the most sense out of a terrible name. I told her that I respected her wishes by not calling her daughter Cat and she should do the same for me. When she said to essentially get over it and then said "welcome to motherhood" I said "Thanks for the welcome and I hope Cat is doing well." She said she didn't care. Which is just a lie. I'm so irritated by it.

ubermoose

I think you have a healthy perspective on this. Nicknames happen, but early on, it's really the parent's discretion what the child will go by.

It's just annoying for relatives to take it upon themselves to nickname the kids. It shows disrespect to the parents, but it also can make the kids uncomfortable, too.

My sister has a son, Isaac, who simply goes by Isaac. Our grandfather insists on calling him Ike. It confused the heck out of the poor kid, and our grandfather got so angry when little then-three "Ike" wouldn't come when he was called.

My name is Emily, and it would always make my skin crawl, even as a toddler, when relatives would call me Emmy. It wasn't my name, it wasn't something anyone close called me, and I hated having to put up with being called Emmy during visits. I took it in stride, but I still found it frustrating.

I will say this, though. Your cousin is being a turd, and other people have probably picked up on this characteristic of hers. If you find a way to politely correct her like it's the first time everytime she calls the kid Lizzy, you'll look like the cool parent and she'll look like an obnoxious person. When your kid is a toddler, and give her ideas on how to react when people call her something she doesn't go by.

KeriMichaelMarie

1. Great Name, I love it! 

2. Your cousin is a bit of a jerk

3. You're getting to worked up over it. You should have replied "lol just wait." to HER!

 

browneyedgrl4282

I named my twins Preston and Jordana. My father kept calling Preston, Presto because he prefers "italian" sounding names! I told him not to call him that and that was the end of that!

My FIL's gf doesn't like the name Jordana and prefers Jordana. I told her that isn't her name and I do not want her calling her that. She said well that will be her nickname, I said NO her nickname is JoJo!

 

I can't stand when people think they can pick what your kids name or nickname is

wishin&hopin2008

I cannot stand when people pull this crap.  Your cousin is being a brat-  just keep correcting people that do this.  My son is Lucas and my mother loves calling him "Lou"- which I hate.  After two years it still slips out- she thinks it is cute- I absolutely cannot stand when she does this, so I just correct her.  Now unfortunately I hear her call him that quietly- whispering it to him and things... very odd. 

Just keep correcting her though, she will get it through her thick head. 

mrs.amandamm

I would tell her that if she is going to call your daughter Lizzy, you are going to call here uggo, or whatever name you want.  I don't get people...

doremi29

While she is definately being obnoxious, I just wanted to add that when you pick a name like Elizabeth (beautiful IMO) you have to be ready for people to shorten it.  My friend growing up was an Elizabeth and her mom would get really pissy if anyone called her anything but Elizabeth.  Even now she goes by the full name, but everyone tried to give her a nickname. 

I picked Mason for my son thinking it couldn't be shortened or "nicknamed" but sure enough, everyone calls him something and it's rarely Mason. 

sunnyday016

First, I LOVE your name choice. Elizabeth Josephine is classic and timeless. I also LOVE the nn Eliza. You're right-she may grow up and want to go by a different nn, but as her mom you can choose whatever nn you'd like.

Second, sounds like your cousin is a huge jack@ss. She's being extremely rude. Just ignore her and call your LO what you'd like.

Thirdly, I've known many Elizabeths and none of them went by Lizzy. Some went by Beth, some went by Liz, some went by Libby, and some went by their full name. I don't think you really need to worry about her eventually being called Lizzy unless that is a nn YOU choose for her and ask her teachers to call her by.  

sparkymcgeee

sunnyday016:

First, I LOVE your name choice. Elizabeth Josephine is classic and timeless. I also LOVE the nn Eliza. You're right-she may grow up and want to go by a different nn, but as her mom you can choose whatever nn you'd like.

Second, sounds like your cousin is a huge jack@ss. She's being extremely rude. Just ignore her and call your LO what you'd like.

Thirdly, I've known many Elizabeths and none of them went by Lizzy. Some went by Beth, some went by Liz, some went by Libby, and some went by their full name. I don't think you really need to worry about her eventually being called Lizzy unless that is a nn YOU choose for her and ask her teachers to call her by.  

Thank you! That makes me feel better. You would think she would respect it more considering my daughter is being named after our great-grandmother. Her name was Josephine Eliza and so I flipped them. Josephine while I love doesn't go with our last name well because our last name starts with Jo. Same sound. 

biblionerd

What a pretty name! I love Eliza as well. My sister has been insistent on calling my fetus "Liney" instead of "Linus"... because it's sooo much shorter or easier to say!?! She loves his name, that's not the problem. I've asked her why and she said it just comes out and she can't help it if she calls him that once he's born. I got sick of her saying it over and over and finally said that my son's name will not be "Liney" and I couldn't stand to hear it, so call him Linus once he's born or don't come over and call him anything.

Froggy76

Your cousin is a jerk, but she may be right.  You can't really force a nickname.  My mother named me Elizabeth with the intention of calling me Beth.  I have been Liz as long as I can remember.  Also, Eliza is a really long nickname!  I would expect people to shorten it to El, Liza, or Liz.  People are lazy.

Anyway, you can try your best but it's nothing to get worked up over.  Sometimes it's fun to have different people call you different things.  My relatives call me Elizabeth, my husband calls me Betty Jean, my coworkers call me Liz, and my friends call me anything they feel like- Liz, Lizzy, Lizzytish, Lizby... it's cute.  99% of the time, though, I am Liz, which is not what my mother intended.

MammaBear81

I totally agree with you. I named DS2 Lucas and that is what I want him to be called, not Luke... in fact one day someone asked me "how is Luke?" and I looked at them with two heads, I had no Idea who they were talking about, and if you call him Luke, he won't answer, just because no one calls him that.  Same thing with DD1 (Isabel) we call her "Isa" ... bottom line, your kid you decide what they are called, just keep politely reminding her that her name is Eliza (beautiful name!)

hollyberry3333

IMO, most people will respect your wishes when you ask them to call her Eliza (or whatever the nn ends up being) As for your obnoxious cousin, I personally just wouldn't be around her. Too much negativity! When/if you have to be around her, tell her if she calls your baby the wrong name that you will smack her big mouth right off of her face, after you say hello to her precious kitty cat that is...

 

strangebird

It's really funny that you should post this because just last week, we had to officially cross Elizabeth off of our list for the exact same reason. We had a particular nickname in mind and don't like many of the others--but several of our family members declared they didn't like and wouldn't use the nickname we'd chosen. It was infuriating. I definitely know how you feel.

julyjennifer

This whole issue is exactly why I want to choose a name that is not amenable to nicknames.  As a Jennifer who prefers to go by Jennifer, I just get too irritated by all the rogue nickname givers walking around out there.

sparkymcgeee

strangebird:

It's really funny that you should post this because just last week, we had to officially cross Elizabeth off of our list for the exact same reason. We had a particular nickname in mind and don't like many of the others--but several of our family members declared they didn't like and wouldn't use the nickname we'd chosen. It was infuriating. I definitely know how you feel.

Was it Betty? I LOVE that nickname and plan on using it as an affectionate name that is just kind of mine and hers. I'm not sure how that will work but I don't really think Betty is something she will love and embrace at school and later in life. My family all just kind of scoffed when I told them I loved the name Betty.

If you don't mind telling me what was the nn planned?

braveangel2

Wow, we just had this discussion with another Bumpie. I don't get the people who say they're going to call your kid something you don't like, and I'm going to leave it at that.

strangebird

meimsx:

strangebird:

It's really funny that you should post this because just last week, we had to officially cross Elizabeth off of our list for the exact same reason. We had a particular nickname in mind and don't like many of the others--but several of our family members declared they didn't like and wouldn't use the nickname we'd chosen. It was infuriating. I definitely know how you feel.

Was it Betty? I LOVE that nickname and plan on using it as an affectionate name that is just kind of mine and hers. I'm not sure how that will work but I don't really think Betty is something she will love and embrace at school and later in life. My family all just kind of scoffed when I told them I loved the name Betty.

If you don't mind telling me what was the nn planned?

Our nickname was Betsy. I dearly love both tElizabeth and Betsy. It was our fallback name, the one we knew we would love forever--but I will not have a daughter named Liz or Lizzie, as many family wanted to call her. I do wish you the best of luck in getting your family to use the right nickname though: )

Jenn0810

julyjennifer:

This whole issue is exactly why I want to choose a name that is not amenable to nicknames.  As a Jennifer who prefers to go by Jennifer, I just get too irritated by all the rogue nickname givers walking around out there.

LOL..I'm a Jennifer. Went by Jennifer until middle school when one of my friends started calling me Jenny. Luckily, she was the only one to ever call me by that name. I hate the name Jenny! In high school my dad started calling me Jenn for some reason, and I have stuck with that (as well as Jennifer- at work mainly). I still correct people when they call me Jenny.