Why do people always want to give unsolcited parenting advice?

jamie217

I just took the girls to see my Grandmom at my Aunt and Uncle's and they never eat as good when we are out because they are distracted.  So after 1.5 oz (they normally take 6-8oz) Keira starts fighting my uncle on her bottle.  So I finally take her to get her to eat and after 3x of my Grandmom saying "Babies eat when they want to eat, even the Dr. will tell you", I said "The dr. also says she needs to eat at least 24 oz. a day and it's different with twins I need to keep them on the same schedule". 

I felt so bad for snapping at my Grandmom (who is a know-it-all), but I feel like after 5.5 mos. I know what's best for my kids!  I would never give anyone parenting advice unless they asked because every family and child is different and I know how much it annoys me when other people do it, so it shocks me how many people feel the need to tell you how to raise your kids!!! 

It also sucks that I can't really take them anywhere now or stay long because of their schedule, but they never eat or sleep as well when we do!

Mollymay39

I know how frustrating that is. It happens to us a lot. We are really rigid with schedules/feedings too. You just have to be with twins, in my opinion. I have also gotten strange looks/comments in regards to the swaddle, the white noise machine and the fact that I put them down for naps after 2 hours of awake time, even if they don't "look" tired. We know what's best though!

jamie217

We swaddled through 4 mos and still put them down after 2-2.5 hours of awake time and use the noise machine.

And Keira is in her crib crying and won't go down now because I ended up staying 15 mins longer than planned and they feel asleep in the car and woke up when we came in....I know I am a rigid crazy lady when it comes to their schedule, but if I'm not our whole family pays the price!!

Shannonlea

From someone (ME!) who used to get really worked up about advice from people, you might need to relax about it.  Who cares if someone tells you how to feed your kid?  Its not like they are dictating how to raise them, its just a comment in passing. I only say this because the comments won't stop and its best to learn to ignore them then get irritated by them. 

jamie217

I know, I am mostly annoyed at myself for snapping at her and letting it get to me.

Temp6313048411121614

Tell me about it!  It never ends either.  I hate general parenting advice, and I have several people (that have had 1 or no kids) give me "twin" advice.  We went through a rough patch with DS1 a while back and everyone was telling DH "spare the rod, spoil the child" in regards to us not spanking him. 

Haven1

jamie217:

We swaddled through 4 mos and still put them down after 2-2.5 hours of awake time and use the noise machine.

Ha, this is us too!  I think that makes US the normal ones.

I totally agree about feedings by other people and not at home.  My 5.5m boys are in a "bat the bottle away" phase.  I know they're hungry, but they're learning to grab and fling things which is way more fun than eating.  Whenever anyone else feeds them, they're all, "looks like he's done".  No, trust me, he's not.  You just have to work at it.

tSquared1987

I gladly will take advice from other twin parents frankly because I am a new parent and we're just kinda "flying by the seat of our pants" But when someone with only one kid or with NO kids tries to give me advice it really irks me. Especially when they try to give me "twin" advice when obviously they have no idea what they are talking about. I know it's pointless to get angry about it, but I just can't help it. I blame the lack of sleep

caden

Oh how I know what you mean. I can't stand the comments I get from family during feedings and about naps. Just this evening my kids were in dire need of a nap after being awake almost 3hrs. my grandparents kept saying "They're wiiiiiiide awake so they don't need a nap" (as my kids are super cranky and spazing out). Thanks for the advice, but no thanks.

MADforever2009

No no, get this...try getting advice about labor from someone who has never had a kid.  When my OB called and told me to go in to get induced (she said not more food or liquids) i had told my SIL (who doesnt have kids) she said "Dru, if I can give you any advice, you should go eat something."

I mean maybe some people do, but I think i'll listen to my OB on this one.

THEN, in the hospital, she's telling me what all the machines are that im hooked up to and telling me how IM feeling...