If DC#1 was constantly touching DC#2... — The Bump
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If DC#1 was constantly touching DC#2...

How did you get them to stop?! DD is 17 months and I just had DS last Monday. I know she's a baby and I don't want her to feel jealous or left out, so I let her touch him, kiss him, etc. But then she'll try to pick him up, or grab him by the arm to pull him, and she's just really rough all around. Sometimes she'll take his paci out of his mouth so she can put it back in, and when she does, she slams it in his face. If he's in the swing, she'll swing it super fast/rough, so I'm constantly on top of her. I've even contemplated putting gates around the swing so she can't go near it, but again, I don't want to make her feel left out. Any suggestions?
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Re: If DC#1 was constantly touching DC#2...

  • If DS is in the swing I'd try to be interacting with DD, because you don't really have to be 'watching' DS swing. Of course you sometimes have things to do when your DS swings...so I'd put the gates up. I'd rather her feel left out then have an accident happen.

     I don't know if this will work because I'm obviously not officially 2u2, but I plan on getting A. a baby doll for her to take care of while I tend to #2. Like 'Ok, you pick up your baby and feed it'. I don't know if she'll "get" it yet though.

    It sounds like she's trying to help (putting the paci in, swinging the swing), so that's why I suggested the doll. 

    Aloisia Sofia (35 weeks) 08/05/09 || Rosemarie (Romy) Elisabeth (32 weeks 6 days) 01/23/11.
  • It gets better!  DD was the same way and still is....but much more gentle.  Just keep telling her to be easy and take her hand and stroke DS lightly.    DD still rips his paci out just to put it back in except now she can actually get it in his mouth and not his eye.  DS actually laughs at her when she's poking and proding at him.  I let her hold him for a few minutes a day (of course I'm right there basically holding him in her arms but she thinks that she's holding him).  Just keep her involved so that she doesn't want to hurt him.  I actually bought DD a baby doll set for X-mas that has an infant carrier, swing, highchair, and stroller.  I try to get DD to carry "her" baby while mommy carries DS.  She will sit in the car with her baby in the little infant carrier on her lap.  It's really helped leave DS alone.  Just keep reminding her to be "easy" and she will start to get it.
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  • Thanks for the encouragement and hope RNOHIO!!

    We've been doing the baby doll think basically since her first birthday to prepare her. My sister did it with her girls, but they were 2 and 2.5 when the next baby was born, so they "got it" more. DS's birth timed well with Xmas, so my mom bought her a swing, crib, car seat, and high chair for Xmas and DS (LOL) got her a baby doll that we brought home from the hospital and give it right to her and made a big deal that it was from DS. I try to have her doing with her baby doll, what I'm doing with DS and it doesn't work. She'll play with her stuff when he's not in sight, but otherwise she wants to be directly involved with him.

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  • image g8orell:

    Thanks for the encouragement and hope RNOHIO!!

    We've been doing the baby doll think basically since her first birthday to prepare her. My sister did it with her girls, but they were 2 and 2.5 when the next baby was born, so they "got it" more. DS's birth timed well with Xmas, so my mom bought her a swing, crib, car seat, and high chair for Xmas and DS (LOL) got her a baby doll that we brought home from the hospital and give it right to her and made a big deal that it was from DS. I try to have her doing with her baby doll, what I'm doing with DS and it doesn't work. She'll play with her stuff when he's not in sight, but otherwise she wants to be directly involved with him.

     

    Let her be directly involved then.  Just keep telling her to be easy or gentle and show her what you mean.  DD wanted to be so involved she got mad when I wouldn't let her hold my boob while DS ate Indifferent  Sometimes I will give her a wipe and have her wipe him a few times while we're doing diaper changes or help bring me his clothes to get him dressed.  I just try to involve her as much as possible (also it's easier if she's right there with me so I don't worry about her running around).  Once DS hits about 3 mos old he's not as fragile so you don't have to worry as much.  I know that it's so stressful in the beginning and you worry about every little poke or smack when he's so tiny and floppy but soon enough he'll think its funny when she's all up in his face.

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  • My DS is 15 months older than DD - and I basically just kept her out of reach.  I know this is not "right" but we kept her bouncy seat on top of the table, and we would set the swing up on the other side of the baby gate.  We would let DS look at her and kiss her feet, but if he started grabbing at her, etc, then we stopped and distracted him with something else.  It might be different for him though - he never really showed much interest in babies, and never really wanted to help.  He is much better now with her - he is gentle and loves giving her kisses, etc.  I don't think keeping them separated at first was a bad thing!  Good luck!
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  • Ditto RNOHIO, keep her involved :) DD1 LOVES to help out with DD2. She helps with diaper changes (holds the clean diaper for me), brings me her paci, etc.

    We did have the same issues early on that you are having - the slamming paci in the face or pushing the swing, and we've also dealt with a lot of hitting issues but they are getting better. Hitting is an automatic time out in the crib and since we've been doing that she's been much more gentle. When DD2 is in the swing, I redirect DD1 away from it if she starts pulling on DD2 or swinging to hard and play with her in another spot in the room. I also show her what "gentle" is if she's being too rough but not intentionally being aggressive.

    It has gotten better for us now that DD2 has been around awhile. DD1 loves to give her kisses and calls her "Sissy!" and gets excited when she sees her - it's pretty cute :)



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