Deciding on a third?

fallplanner

I have two sons, 3 1/2 and 11 months. Financially it would make sense for us to not have anymore children.  We could afford another child, but my husband is worried about the future, education and trips etc.  I cannot stop thinking about having a third child though.  I am 35 now and realistically we'd have to wait about a year, so that I could go back to work for a bit.  My question is if you decided to have a third child, how did you decide?  Did you follow your head or your heart?  My head says, no way, are you crazy?  Two is busy...two makes sense...we have two hands...two parents...the world is made for families of four.  The list of pros for having two children is endless.  However, my heart says, go for a third....I don't know, should I just stop worrying about it and let fate take over....I think about this almost every day....

boymamaco

Most of the women here are actually trying for the first. A few for their second. None that I can think of for their third. I'm not sure if this is the best board to help you answer your question. Maybe try the one of the other boards like Babies: 9-12 or 2 under 2, etc.

Best of luck!

BensWife

That was DH and I.  That decision to have a 3rd is just soooo hard.  To have a second was a no brainer for us.  We wanted 2.  We didn't want William to be an only child.  We could afford 2 and, like you said, the world is made for families of four.  DH didn't want a 3rd child, but I did.  I wanted one soooo bad.  I wanted a larger family, plus I would have liked to try for a girl since I have 2 boys (but if I had a boy, I would have been happy too!).  We TTC for a few months, but after more soul searching, we decided this past cycle was our last.  There are just more cons than pros for us.  If I was younger, then maybe we could wait until we were a little more financially secure, but I am 36 (37 next month).  If we waited a year, I would be almost 39 and for us, the higher probability of having genetic issues is enough to scare us into not having any more.  It is such a hard decision and I am still really upset that we are stopping TTC#3, but for us, we are going with our head, not our heart.  Good luck in your decision!!

jenn&chris2

Hi, we are trying for our 3rd (only 2nd pregnancy) I have 11 month old twins.  There are days when my head also says "what are you thinking" but deep down inside & in my heart we do want another one.  The days I mostly think that is when the twins are having a bad day.  We do know we want another one though I'm 35 going to be 36 next month & DH is 37, so we'll try for a few more years on our own & see what happens & hope for the best.  We don't want to go down the fertility treatments road again (if fate lets us) b/c finanically we probably cannot do that again.

I wish you lots of luck w/ whatever your decision ends up being!!! 

UOduckBride2be

lucyspeople:

Most of the women here are actually trying for the first. A few for their second. None that I can think of for their third. I'm not sure if this is the best board to help you answer your question. Maybe try the one of the other boards like Babies: 9-12 or 2 under 2, etc.

Best of luck!

Um yeah, this!  I try to be supportive of everyone, but I have been trying for #1 for going on 6 years.  I wish I were in your predicament.  Good luck to you!  I hope everything works out and that you are able to do what is best for you.

boymamaco

I'm so glad you got some responses. I wasn't trying to be snarky at all, just wanted to point you to a thread that might be more active. Best of luck in your decision!

fallplanner

Thanks for the posts ladies.  After looking more at this board, I agree, I probably should have posted this on a different board.  I hope that you all have a great deal of success conceiving!  Sticky baby dust to you all:)