Anyone else have mother-in-law issues?? (long)

Nick_Sarah

Seeing as how I'm so not motivated to work right now (everyone and their brother is taking vacation time this week except a few of us), I thought I'd rant about my mother-in-law.  Anyway, THANK GOD the holidays are over!  I absolutely love Christmas, but, is it horrible to say that, I hate spending time with my mother-in-law for extended periods of time?  And, by extended periods of time, I mean more than 1 day.  First of all, she was really nice to me until my husband and I got engaged.  Then all hell broke loose.  I was in tears every time we would visit and my husband and I got into horrible fights about it.  For whatever reason, now that we're married, she's been nicer.  No doubt she still hates me, but she's not so blatant about it.  Ha!  I still get dirty looks and eye rolls though and heaven forbid I not agree with her on something.  She is a VERY opinionated woman and makes herself the center of everything.  If you watch "The Office", she's pretty much Michael.  Just not as funny.  AND she never shuts up!  Omigod...that woman is constantly talking.  Thank GOD I've masted the technique of tuning out unwanted noises.    Anyway, here's the problem...obviously my husband and I are ttc.  My brother and sister-in-law have 2 children now and, according to my mother-in-law, they are doing everything wrong.  When they had their first child all we ever heard about was how horrible my sister-in-law was and how she needs to stop reading baby books.  Ugh...I finally told my husband not to talk to me about it and that his mother needs to stop badmouthing her.  My sister-in-law can parent however the hell she wants and, I thought she was doing a GREAT job.  They're her children anyway, not my mother-in-law's.  So, to make a long story short, I'm not looking forward to what she's going to say to me or about me when we have children.  My sister-in-law and I are alot alike and I'll be just as overprotective with my children.  How do you politely tell your mother-in-law to shut the hell up and mind her own business??

doozer1345

We literally have nothing to do with his family. Especially his mother. Not much help, but it is refreshing.

romigu

Nick_Sarah:

Seeing as how I'm so not motivated to work right now (everyone and their brother is taking vacation time this week except a few of us), I thought I'd rant about my mother-in-law.  Anyway, THANK GOD the holidays are over!  I absolutely love Christmas, but, is it horrible to say that, I hate spending time with my mother-in-law for extended periods of time?  And, by extended periods of time, I mean more than 1 day.  First of all, she was really nice to me until my husband and I got engaged.  Then all hell broke loose.  I was in tears every time we would visit and my husband and I got into horrible fights about it.  For whatever reason, now that we're married, she's been nicer.  No doubt she still hates me, but she's not so blatant about it.  Ha!  I still get dirty looks and eye rolls though and heaven forbid I not agree with her on something.  She is a VERY opinionated woman and makes herself the center of everything.  If you watch "The Office", she's pretty much Michael.  Just not as funny.  AND she never shuts up!  Omigod...that woman is constantly talking.  Thank GOD I've masted the technique of tuning out unwanted noises.    Anyway, here's the problem...obviously my husband and I are ttc.  My brother and sister-in-law have 2 children now and, according to my mother-in-law, they are doing everything wrong.  When they had their first child all we ever heard about was how horrible my sister-in-law was and how she needs to stop reading baby books.  Ugh...I finally told my husband not to talk to me about it and that his mother needs to stop badmouthing her.  My sister-in-law can parent however the hell she wants and, I thought she was doing a GREAT job.  They're her children anyway, not my mother-in-law's.  So, to make a long story short, I'm not looking forward to what she's going to say to me or about me when we have children.  My sister-in-law and I are alot alike and I'll be just as overprotective with my children.  How do you politely tell your mother-in-law to shut the hell up and mind her own business??

your MIL sounds like mine.  maybe we can introduce them and they can be BFF.   i personally have just started ignoring any of those comments and (passive aggressively) doing the opposite of what she tells me to do.  unless its something important obviously but know she doesn't bother me anymore.  

bubbles0568

My MIL is great no issues there. The problem is my mom, every year we've been doing day before Christmas Eve and staying till Christmas morning at my parent's house because they live 3 hrs away and then Christmas Day on DH's side. It's been working out great but my mom this year goes "Well I guess you'll have to choose next year since I'll be doing Christmas here from now on." hmmmm "Have a great christmas then!" This is from the same woman who when I asked to do presents on Christmas Eve so it wasn't so busy Christmas day her response was "Santa doesn't come on Christmas Eve." When your children are all in their 20's it's time to let it go! She's nuts!

Jessiree

MH and I haven't spoken or seen his parents in nearly 10 months. We got to the point that we couldn't deal with the constant negativity, because it was honestly beginning to affect our lives. Our lives and marriage have never been better.
You have to either decide to live with it and be happy with it, or live without it. GL.

Nick_Sarah

Part of the problem is that my husband doesn't really see what's going on.  He knows that she's a bitty and has finally realized that she's always treated myself and my sister-in-law (and any other girl they've ever brought home) like crap.  But he just dismisses it and tells me we just have to deal with it.  I hold my tongue as much as possible at her house, but the gloves come off when they visit our house.  I envy those woman who have wonderful, loving in-laws....

brookelynpaisley

Oy. It's not my issue, but my sister's. Her FMIL is scaaaaary. My FBIL, bless is heart, is so sweet and just wants to please everyone, but hasn't figured out entirely yet that #1 has shifted from his mom to his future wife. He's getting the hang of it, but his mom is SO persistant and comes at them with so many things (especially with wedding planning), that he's having to choose battles. And sometimes not choosing the right ones according to my sister. Anyway, this woman is so opinionated, and if you won't listen to her opinion the first time, she'll tell you again. If my sister tells her "no" once, she'll wait a couple days and ask the same question in hopes of a new answer. She'll try to pit them against each other - getting a "no" from my sister, and a "yes" from her son* and going with what she likes until they figure it out. Then she gets butt-hurt about being stopped. She just digs and digs until either my FBIL or sister gives up. They're inviting 30 people more to their wedding (that FBIL has never met) than they wanted because she pitched a fit. Holy annoying. I couldn't marry into that shiit. I have no idea what will happen when they have kids, but I can imagine it won't be pretty.

*Yes, I understand that their communication could prevent this, but she'll twist it and tell one the other "didn't care" or something else neutral.

Nick_Sarah

brookelynpaisley:

Oy. It's not my issue, but my sister's. Her FMIL is scaaaaary. My FBIL, bless is heart, is so sweet and just wants to please everyone, but hasn't figured out entirely yet that #1 has shifted from his mom to his future wife. He's getting the hang of it, but his mom is SO persistant and comes at them with so many things (especially with wedding planning), that he's having to choose battles. And sometimes not choosing the right ones according to my sister. Anyway, this woman is so opinionated, and if you won't listen to her opinion the first time, she'll tell you again. If my sister tells her "no" once, she'll wait a couple days and ask the same question in hopes of a new answer. She'll try to pit them against each other - getting a "no" from my sister, and a "yes" from her son* and going with what she likes until they figure it out. Then she gets butt-hurt about being stopped. She just digs and digs until either my FBIL or sister gives up. They're inviting 30 people more to their wedding (that FBIL has never met) than they wanted because she pitched a fit. Holy annoying. I couldn't marry into that shiit. I have no idea what will happen when they have kids, but I can imagine it won't be pretty.

*Yes, I understand that their communication could prevent this, but she'll twist it and tell one the other "didn't care" or something else neutral.

I know all to well what you're talking about.  I am the root of all evil and have corrupted her precious baby.   I try to be nice about things and ignore little jabs, but it's extremely hard to do.

EvenAngelsFall

Wow, you just described my bitchuva sister in law to a tee! If you figure out how to deal with annoying, psycho, self centered in laws like ours.... please let me know!

Nick_Sarah

EvenAngelsFall:

Wow, you just described my bitchuva sister in law to a tee! If you figure out how to deal with annoying, psycho, self centered in laws like ours.... please let me know!

Likewise!  I thought 5 hours distance was enough, but, sadly, it's not.  I have a feeling we're going to have words one of these days and it's going to be ugly.

tblauvelt

doozer1345:

We literally have nothing to do with his family. Especially his mother. Not much help, but it is refreshing.

I wish this were my case but DH can't and probably won't shake his mom no matter how annoying or opinionated she gets. OP- sorry but I am of no help either. I just wanted to say gl with getting around her.