stressing. (vent)

mrsohbuhr

FIL is driving me crayzayyyy! MIL is one thing, but I can't help but be intimidated by FIL. I know he thinks I'm an airhead... Which just ticks me right off. When DH and I got married, FIL had made several comments about me being "flighty" WTH! Sorry, dude... Just because I'm shy and don't sit and banter with you about stupid government crap(which, your opinion is best anyway! Psh.) or swoon over your high position in your company (like the rest of your family does!) Doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I'm just good at choosing words and choose not to use very many towards you! But, today really got me, and now I'm up stressing about it and can't fall asleep. I need to come up with some witty remarks for this man, because his witty remarks are more just rude and ignorant than witty.

Here's what's bugging me:
1. DS is on soy. Its just how it ended up... Sorry. So, FIL says to DH, "Well you'll just have to ignore the boy bewbs then I guess... It ups their estrogen level..m andd blahblahblah (he thinks he knows it all). Well then some more comments later about how I'm basically ruining his grandson, and I just couldn't even say anything. I don't even want to give him the kick out of getting a rise from me.
2. After all of that, he comes in saying how he thinks its so "funny" how uneducated people are about baby foods. To Quote: "So, basically, parents just go and buy a box of formula and don't know what's in it. They let the "formula" people just pump whatever they want into their kid?" Sooo passive aggressive, another shot at the soy formula and at how he wanted me to breast feed because its his grandson, you know! As if I don't feel bad enough about not breastfeeding. Plus having to give my kid soy, and this a** just has to rub it in... Ugh.
3. DS started to get crabby, so I grabbed the FP Seahorse... FIL looks at it, then at me, and says "He needs to be attached to something more manly than this thing..." And again, more comments about friggin soy.

FIL is just the rock star of making me feel like an inadequate idiot. I don't even want to give him the time of day! He is so rude and pompous. Now, being so insecure around him... I'm laying here stressing about it all and feeling like a crap of a mom. We will see what tomorrow brings, venting helps -I guess I just need to put him in his place when he pulls that stuff again... Wish me luck!

hannahbagels

I would sarcastically say something along the lines of 'You were pregnant with, tried to breast feed, and stay up at night with DS so obviously you'd know best for him' then walk off. As for #3, suggest he buy LO a manly age-appropriate toy and you'll see if it works, but you reserve the right to resort back to the seahorse when it doesn't calm him.. But that's just me :P

I'm the same as you, I'm shy and careful with words, so I don't just blab to people about everything. It sucks because I get written off as stupid or a stuck up biitch alot.. Better than proving myself an idiot like him.. GL!

Murdock12

Im sorry to hear this. I know my mom had issues w my dads dad when my older brother was a baby. He was a farmer and very manly etc and worried about my brother being "sissified" mom and dad finally put their foot down but it was dad who said something bc it wad his father What's your DH's stance in all of this? I Agree that the next time he says something you should let him know when he spits a kid out then he can have the say. Otherwise shut it. Maybe refer to your vag...always makes them nervous

kerribear1717

Why hasn't your DH explained to him why he's on soy formula?  You should tell him unless he has a pediatrician license then stop worrying about what's best for your LO.

Roundrockgal79

I'm not much help in the response department since I'm the kind that would just look at him and tell him to shut the F up then pick up LO and leave but I wanted to say I'm sorry your FIL is being such a jerk about things. You are doing what's best for your son and you are not a crap mom! 

What does your DH say/do with everything?  Does he agree with his dad or does he just put up with it?

mrsohbuhr

Thank you ladies for the support! I need it. Last night after I wrote this, I absolutely could NOT get to sleep. So, I woke DH and cried to him! He didn't even know what hit him. It was kind of a rude awakening oops. But, he didn't even pick up on the stuff his dad was saying (which in a sense, I guess I wouldn't expect him to... He's just a dumb guy with stuff like that). I was expecting him to laugh at me and tell me to suck it up. But, he was a very good listener and said that he would talk to his dad about it all... He said, now that he looked back on it the comments were kind of unreasonable. Wow! Not expecting that! Maybe waking him up in the middle of the night is a good way to get some sympathy talk and things done!
1hton phone. Sorry!