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Parenting
Tips for weaning a totally unwilling toddler (BF)? :/
DS is almost 17 months. I had no intentions of nursing this long. I had planned to get him to 12 months and then wean. He, however, had different plans 
He has refused a bottle since he was about 3 weeks old so that has never been an open. He does drink milk out of a cup (soy - has a bad dairy intolerance) etc.
He still nurses a fair amount. When he wakes, before his 1st nap, before his 2nd nap (we are kind of in the process of dropping that AM nap so on days that it's only 1 nap, he only nurses before that nap), before bed. If he wakes in the night, he FREAKS out to nurse. I have tried many times to drop that feeding to no avail. He has only recently begun to sleep through the night about 3-4 days a week, so I'm hoping that we are on the road to him dropping that feeding on his own.
When I try to NOT nurse him or redirect to a sippy, he flips out. Throws a full-out tantrum - screaming, crying, trying to pull my shirt off etc. And honestly, I feel guilty. I feel like I am the one that started him nursing... it's all he knows... and now I'm taking "bee bee" away (yeah... thanks DH for that one) and he's not old enough to understand why. He knows they are there, it's not like bottles that you can put away. I'm trying to make this as non-traumatic as possible for him. I am SO ready, though. Have been ready for a while and I'm starting to get a teeny bit resentful b/c we are trying for #3 and while I am ovulating, I can't help but think that nursing probably isn't helping much. And aside from that, I just need a break already!
HELP!? I guess I had hoped that he would self-wean by now, but no such luck 
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Re: Tips for weaning a totally unwilling toddler (BF)? :/
My DD was totally the same way. The first thing I eliminated was the random quick nursings throughout the day. I made sure I wasn't wearing a nursing bra so I didn't have the temptation to just give it to her. I would have to really distract her. Juice, snacks, completely engaging her in playing with something. After we broke that habit, we moved to eliminating the before nap nursing and then the before bedtime (that one was the hardest) It took me a while and she actually still asks and it's been a couple of months since she's nursed. It wasn't completely tear free...but we did the best we could. I was done, and I knew if we waited for her to wean herself she'd go until she was 5!
good luck! I know how frustrating it is!
I am DREADING the bedtime break. DS always falls asleep nursing.. it's his "thing". I'm not sure what the heck I will do. How did you break bedtime... just put her in the crib and that was that?? I SOO wish I would have done this months ago
I am DREADING the bedtime break. DS always falls asleep nursing.. it's his "thing". I'm not sure what the heck I will do. How did you break bedtime... just put her in the crib and that was that?? I SOO wish I would have done this months ago
I am DREADING the bedtime break. DS always falls asleep nursing.. it's his "thing". I'm not sure what the heck I will do. How did you break bedtime... just put her in the crib and that was that?? I SOO wish I would have done this months ago
I ended up nursing DS2 until he was 18 months old. I didn't intend to go so long, but he has multiple food allergies and breastmilk seemed like a better option than rice milk, so I kept with it. Plus, he was super attached and would wake multiple times a night and it was easiest to just nurse to get him back to sleep.
I started by not bringing him to bed with me in the middle of the night or first-thing in the morning (I was pregnant and had morning sickness and I could nurse him and get to sleep in a bit). Then I replaced the nap and bedtime nursing sessions with a bottle. He'd often try and lift up my shirt or paw at me, but I just held strong. Wearing a cami with a shelf bra over my regular bra helped because he couldn't get to my boobs.
Good luck!
nope...I just rocked her forever. At first she would cry for a bit while I held her, then after a while she would just let me rock her. I would have to rock her for an hour + before I could put her down. We're just now starting to work on getting her to go to sleep on her own. I won't lie-the whole process has been really hard. I can't say I regret the way I've done things...it's just her personality that has made it more difficult. I did everything the same with DS and he self weaned with no problems at 15 months and went to bed without a complaint!
I hear ya. I wound up pumping with DS1 so the weaning thing is new to me. DS2 is VERY VERY stubborn so his personality is most definitely going to make it difficult. I think the guilt is the worst part, though. I wish he would just self-wean already!! I think if left to his own vices, he'd be heading off to kindergarten with a boob in his mouth. Must. Stop. Now
My 3rd nursed for 21 months. In fact, today might be the year anniversary of stopping. Anyway, he wasn't doing it willingly, and I wasn't so set on ending it, as you are, so I took it very gradually. When he went to one nap, that was an easy nursing session gone. I work some evenings, so DH would put him to bed and he was good without nursing those nights, so I would just stay out of sight for 30ish minutes before bedtime and play with the twins somewhere and have DH put him to bed. The hardest for us was the middle of the night ones, because it was the quickest and easiest way to guarantee he'd be back to sleep in 10 minutes. It took DH going in and holding and shhh-ing and rocking him for a couple of weeks, and there was a ton of screaming and crying. It was hard not to give in when I could hear him crying for me and "urse." Now he still wakes several nights a week so I go in and just rock him, and I don't mind that so much. He's my last, so he gets a lot of leeway on the baby things.
I had to just refuse, predictably and consistenly (so ALWAYS refusing at a certain time, no matter what. ONLY nursing at certain times) and then gradually eliminating those times that nursing was allowed.
If (when) they freaked out about it we did best when I remained calm and upbeat (never giving in) and offered a snack or a game or something. Offering a cup just pissed them off. Like it was an obvious poor substitute to them.
It really didn't take long once I stuck to my guns. I cut one session per week. The first one was the hardest one but after that it was easy.
GL!
I can't wait to read all the replies to your post! I think our DC's are almost the same age, as my DD is 17 mos as well. I could have written your post- I don't know where to start either, my DD is SO attached to it. I nursed my first DD until 14.5 mos, and I wanted to do about the same with this one.
There seems to be no end in sight, and bc she's a little older, she's more aware of the whole nursing bit, pulls at my shirt (dd#1 never did that) etc..... I'm dreading it! But like you, I feel done, and need to start soon, or she'll want to nurse forever! Luckily, she does have a paci, so she doesn't comfort nurse throughout the day. She nurses when she wakes, before nap #1, and at nighttime. It doesn't sound like a lot, but she really is attached to those 3 sessions.
Good luck to you, let me know what works for you!!
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
Thanks for all of the responses ladies! I don't let him "comfort nurse". The only times he gets to nurse are waking, before naps and before bed (and if he wakes the 1x in the night). Hope I don't jinx myself, but he's also been starting to almost sleep through the night (8p - 5a... I consider that sleeping through the night at least!). I've had to let him CIO a few times when he woke in the middle of the night but it seems to be working
Fingers crossed!
Auntie - believe it or not, I do not rock him to sleep for naps. He nurses for a few minutes and then I put him in his crib and he plays until he falls asleep. So he actually does know how to self soothe. It's just that bedtime session (and overnight until lately) that he's used to falling asleep nursing. At this point, I think it's really just habit for sure.
I think the other thing that is making me feel guilty is that he has been consistently dropping in weight percentiles since birth. He was in the 95% then and is now in the 20th
So I worry that cutting out nursing will take away nutrients that he IS willing to take in. ALthough I sometimes wonder if he DIDN"T nurse, would he eat more/better solids? he will try almost anything, but doesn't consume ENOUGH of what he does eat. Ugh... I swear... I just can't win!
We will see what happens. He is actually a really mellow little guy... but also very stubborn. The ONLY thing that he gets REALLY upset about is when he can't have bee-bee. Fabulous. Stay tuned!