Having one of those days...vent re: "Did she go naturally?" — The Bump
VBAC

Having one of those days...vent re: "Did she go naturally?"

First off, I want to say I am so excited and beyond happy for my cousin who delivered her first baby this morning (a girl)! She had a super long and difficult labor. She was in the hospital all day yesterday at 3-4 cm and not budging. I remember how stressful and exhausting labor was. She ended up calling me and we talked a few times, because they brought up that she might need a c-section. BUT her midwife and whoever else was with her let her labor, and she ended up with a successful vaginal delivery (yay)!

Now here is my vent: All of our friends and family were following her labor yesterday, and this morning MIL calls and says, "Did she go naturally?" Now I know she means, "Did she end up with a c-section or deliver vaginally?" but I HATE this question!

A) Is it really any of your business and why is it a concern for my MIL?

B) It makes me feel like E's birth was some sort of unnatural occurrence.

C) What is a natural birth? They used pit for labor augmentation and she had an epidural...does that qualify ?

 

I know that I am being super sensitive about this, but I'm just having one of those days...thanks for listening.

 

 

Re: Having one of those days...vent re: "Did she go naturally?"

  • I know what you mean.  It always stung a little after my daughter's birth if someone asked me if I had her naturally.  I remember at my pap smear 7 months later, my nurse practitioner came in and said "you had her naturally, right?"  It made me feel like my daughter's birth was unnatural and inferior, but maybe that was just me projecting the way I already felt about my c/s.  I don't think there is anything unnatural about bringing a child into the world.  If you made the decision to be cut open and put your body at risk because you felt it was the safest way for your baby to be born, there is nothing unnatural about that.

    I've gotten into the whole "what is a natural birth?" and "can a c-section be called natural?" debate many times on the Natural Birth board.  Everyone has a different answer.  All you can do is try not to let how other people label things affect how you feel about your child's birth.  

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    Big sister {September 2008} Sweet boy {April 2011} Fuzzy Bundle {ETA July 2014}

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I give people a pass on this one...Even though we're all adults who should be comfortable saying the word "Vaginal" it's still a little awkward. 

    I know a lot of people aren't familiar with the term VBAC so I've had a hard time with those people who think I'm going for another scheduled CS. I've called it trying for a "regular birth" vs. "vaginal". 

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  • Thanks for listening. I think I am feeling extra sensitive today after what feels like reliving DD's birth.
  • I think you're being overly senstive.  My first was a beautiful natural birth- to me a natural birth is a med free (no inducing) vaginal birth.  With my second I had an almost complete placenta abruption at the end of my pregnancy- I had an emergency c-section.  What was performed on me was not natural however to save my life and my baby's it had to be done.  I have no ill feelings towards the doctors or hospital- its just a fact, a c-section is not natural, its not the way our bodies where meant to deliever babies.  Although I love my second child equally their birth are uncomparable.  I think people ask the question of whether it was natural is because chances are if you had to have a c-section its a much harder recovery.
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    I think people ask the question of whether it was natural is because chances are if you had to have a c-section its a much harder recovery.

    This is why I like to know, if it's someone I am close to or will be interacting with. But if I don't know, it's not a big deal. No matter how the birth went, I can say congrats and ask how the mom is feeling. 

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