Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

When do you stop crying?

I began miscarrying early this morning after a week of on-and-off spotting. The doctor sounded so optimistic at our first appointment last Tuesday - I had convinced myself that the spotting was going to stop.

This was our first - I never expected to lose our first.

When I look at the women on this board who have lost multiple babies, I feel so guilty that I'm this devastated.

I'm in very little pain - I almost wish it hurt more so that I would feel something. Right now I just feel empty - like Ducky was never there.   :(

Re: When do you stop crying?

  • I had the worst time with my first m/c...I guess we all think "it is never going to happen to me...."GL!
  • I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I still have moments where I feel like I am going to cry and I can usually stop it now. The first week after my m/c I cried the entire week. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just start crying. I know it does not make it any easier right now, but every day it gets a little easier. I know how you feel about losing your first, it is very upsetting and frustrating. If you need anything we are here for you.
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  • My first was the worst to. Trust me it does get better eventhough it feels like it won't. I started bleeding this am to. It just feels like a bad period. (so far) Hugs. Hang in there.
  • I am very sorry that you are going through this -- and dealing with all the uncertainty.

    It has been almost a month since my m/c (1st too) and I must admit I still well up every now and then.  I cried for a week prior to my m/c (was spotting and sure I was going to lose it - -just a bad feeling) and then I cried straight for about a week afterwards.  One thing I have learned from this experience and this board is that it is okay for you to be sad, mad, anxious, etc and you have every right to grieve the way you do -- it is different for everyone.

    Don't feel guilty -- you loved this baby before you even created it.  I promise you that you will get through this and it will get easier to deal with, but don't beat yourself up.  Hugs.
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  • I'm sorry you are going through this...it sucks.  My m/c was confirmed on Sept 3 and I think I cried everyday for 2 1/2 weeks.  I've been pretty good the last few days, but dh has been sick, so I've been focused on him.  It does get better I promise.  You won't ever forget, but it won't sting so much in a few weeks.  Just hang in there.  (I would have not even believed myself a few weeks ago)
    Don't feel guilty for being sad.  Every loss is sad.  :(  take care of yourself.....
    image ~1500mg Metformin~M/C: 7 weeks~9/3/2008~D&C 9/16/2008
    Beta #1: 268 (16dpo) ~ Progesterone 54 ~ Beta #2: 541 (18dpo) Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ((((HUgs))))) and I am so sorry for your loss.

    It is amazing just how much crying can be done, but it does need to come out.  I cried enough for DH and I. I also woke up crying and sobbing. It just needs to get out and not be pent up inside. It does get easier over time. Take some "me" time, I did for a week. (My m/c was a week ago yesterday and just like you, everything was fine when we saw the doc on that Friday, so I was very numb and in shock). 

    The girls here are so amazing and supportive. We are here for you if you need anything or just need to vent. The TTC after loss board is great as well & has given me my motivation to keep trying.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this. This hurts but time will ease the pain. Those are not the most comforting words, I know. I'm sure we all wish there was more we could do to ease the pain than just wait for time to pass.

    Don't feel like you have to rush through your grief or that you shouldn't be as devastated as you are. Take as much time as you need. I found out about my loss (also my first) on 9/8. I still have days when I am overcome with sadness (yesterday, even). I also feel more blessed and full of love than ever before, knowing now how precious life is. I guess that is my silver lining for now.

    Hang in there. You will get through this. In the meantime, we are here for you.
  •  I am so sorry for your loss.  I cried every day for a long time after my first.  It is very hard.  Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

  • Ducky was there and you have every right to cry and be sad. Some days I still cry. There is no right or wrong way to dealing with this. Good luck. We are here for you.

  • Don't feel like just because you've had 1, that isn't bad enough! 

    I think being empty and numb is normal right now.  You'll go through lots of emotions. 

    I'm sorry this is happening!

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 1st m/c July 2008, 2nd m/c December 2008, Baby boy born in 2009!, 3rd m/c (c/p) June 2011, 4th m/c September 2011
  • as someone who's had multiple mcs, I just want to say Please don't minimize the pain of a mc just because it's your first - It doesn't make it hurt any less - it's totally ok to be sad. I think we're just SO caught off guard by a mc - you just never think it's going to happen to you, and it hurts....

    Sending you a big hug...
  • i just finished my m/c and it was our first pg after trying for 9 months. any loss is devastating, no matter how many one has. i didnt have any pain until the 4th day and thats when the bleeding started to become heavy. i passed the sac on the 5th day of bleeding and the pain eased up after that. im still really sore and i have IBS really bad so my intestines are a hot mess after all this-that pain is almost worse than the cramps were...almost ;)

    i havent had a meltdown in a day or two...i still well up a little now and then and i almost lost it today when i visited my work and i got hugs and all that bullsh!t..if everyone would leave me alone and not talk about it then i would be ok...i hope when i go back on Wed that they get the picture pretty quick or if not then i will let them know..lol.

    im sorry about your loss and it will get tolerable in a few weeks, but i dont think one ever gets over something like this. hang in there.

    Jacob Alexander 7/23/09
    Allergic to Dairy, Eggs and Peanuts Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Jameson Adam 6/1/11
    Allergic to Peas...so far Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  It is devastating no matter how you look at it. 


    I experienced a m/c (our 1st pg) in early July, so this week it will be 3 months ago that we found out.  I think the first week after we found out was the hardest and most painful.  Even after almost 3 months, there are certain things that make me cry.  But emotionally I feel much better now than I did that first week or so of finding out about the m/c.  I don't think I'll ever "get over it" and it will be something I'll carry with me in my heart for the rest of my life.  But I have moved on at my own pace.  We had been doing IF treatments and we recently met with our reproductive endocrinologist to discuss our next treatment plan.  At that appointment, she gave us the U/S pic of the blighted ovum I had.  I def. wouldn't have wanted to even see that picture for the first month after my m/c. 

    Hearing about or seeing pg ladies that have the same edd that I would have had is esp difficult, even now.   This week we would have had the "big u/s" to find out the sex of the baby and that has been difficult. 

    It does get easier with passing time.  Hugs to you and don't ever feel guilty about your emotions. 

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  • I'm sorry for the pain your going through now.  I too lost my first at the end of July.  It was on our first attempt trying.  We waiting for 2 solid years to try because we wanted to do the right thing and wait for me to get a permanent teaching job... I was right out of college when we married.  I felt devastated at the loss of time... 2 plus years! 

    I just keep telling myself, and you do to, that something wasn't right with that little one and God will only want you to have what you can handle. 

    I hope things get easier for you!

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  • I'm so sorry you're going through this :(.  I also just lost my first.  I started bleeding on Tuesday.  I can't believe it's only been a week.  It seems like a lifetime ago that I was pregnant and we were so happy.  It seems like every time I think I'm doing ok I end up in tears for seemingly no reason.

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