Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I wish people would stop saying...

If its not red blood than its okay its "old"... I had barely brown spotting at 12 weeks and had a miscarriage.  I feel like this is myth that needs to be debunked !

Also 1st tri girls talking about miscarriage "symptoms" Really ???  Sometimes there are none as for many of us on here this is OUR truth.  No cramping, no bleeding, but still no baby !

I am bitter today.

Re: I wish people would stop saying...

  • Sorry you are having a bad day.  I went onto the 1st tri board and was appalled at their suggestions over there -- they were giving advice to say they had bleeding and cramping to get in to see their doctor's early.  I could not believe it -- there are people who really do have issues to see the doctor.  I think girls like that are screwing it up.  I quit going over there anymore and will probably just hang out on the PL, TTCAL, and SAL boards from here on out.
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  • Yeah, I should probaly not lurk on there. I always find one AssH@le

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  • Yeah, I know what you mean. I can't read 1st Trimester anymore.

    And I know what you mean.. I had slight brown spotting and by all accounts should have been fine.. yeah right.

    I'm feeling a little bitter today too :(

    p.s. where's the bitter bus!?!
    Me 38, DH 34 Missed M/C 10/08 at 10 weeks DD born 8/09, TTC#2 since Jan 2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • *** Roxy runs and starts the bus ***
  • My favorite is the girls who make a big deal about making fun of the girls who are extra cautious.  I get so pissed at the girls who give attitude when other girls ask questions about what to avoid, and then brag about eating hot dogs and cheese and drinking coffee.  I know now that my miscarriages didn't have anything to do with anything that I did or didn't do, but can you imagine the audacity of people who are so cavaleir about these things and actually proud of it. 
    I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, but if they ever had to deal with the constant nagging feeling in the back of their heads that they didn't do everything they could do to protect their baby, they would never even look at a peice of lunchmeat, let alone wouldn't boldly broadcast it to the world!
    Hmm ... I guess I'm a little bitter too.  I wish I could say that it was a bitter day, but it would probably be more accurate to say it's a bitter year!
  • I agree!  I had no symptoms other than SUPER SUPER light brown spotting.  I didn't think anything of it.  It was for like two hours and then nothing.  I walked into my 12w appointment like everything was amazing and was so SHOCKED when they broke the news to me.  Now that the innocence is gone, I will be a cautious mess if/when we are able to conceive again.  I don't even go to the first tri board anymore... it just makes me mad.


    ::hops on the bus::

  • snowflake...my thoughts exactly.
  • Totally agree! I feel horrible too b/c people on the boards I frequent will post about "one swipe" of brown or light pink spotting. EVERYONE will respond saying its "okay" and "normal." Then, I respond that they need to call the doc. I just had my 2nd m/c (I m/c at 10.5 weeks...) and I literally had the tiniest swipe of light pink spotting. NO ONE would have noticed except that I have had a m/c before and when I was PG with my DS, I spotted every 4-6 weeks, so I inspected the TP with every detail. I had no other "symptoms."

    I 100% agree with you on all of what you said. I had nothing wrong.....no cramps, no bleeding, I was sicker than a dog.....I had 3 perfect ultrasounds with strong h/b's and then I go in for my NT Scan and the baby had died....

    I had to always be the pessimist, but I always tell girls the truth......
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I agree. I had brown spotting and look what happened. I also don't like when they tease the girls who are scared---I don't blame them.
  • I agree with you!  I had NO symptoms at all...no bleeding, no cramping at all.  I had a D & E (due to blighted ovum) at 8 weeks and 2 days and would prob still be "pregnant" if I didn't have an early ultrasound due to my cervix tearing giving birth with dd #1 which put me at highrisk for the early ultrasound.  I could spit on girls that "show off" and start mouthing about eating this or that, not watching, drinking wine sips here and there and spotting is normal!  BS 
  • I agree, I don't think I'll ever go back to the 1st trimester board.  I had no symptoms of my miscarriage, I hate that the innocence is lost.  You can have no symptoms and at your next appt the heartbeat is gone, or have spotting and cramping and everything is perfectly fine.
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  • I tell people that it's usually normal, but that they should always call their doctor. I don't want to freak anyone out.

    But yeah, after having 2 missed m/c, I agree that I'll never not freak out about spotting.
    2 girls and a dog
  • If its not red blood than its okay its "old

    I 100% agree. Every time I see someone type that I want to tell them that's not necessarily true, but how do you that without worrying the person who it's happening too.

    Blood, even red blood,  may not be a sign of a miscarriage but it could be. If someone is that worried it they need to call their Dr. I know when I get pregnant again any sign of blood I will be calling the Dr.
  • I actually called my doctor when I started having brown spotting and they gave me the "brown blood is old blood" line.  They didn't even send me for betas until I called to say it had turned red and there were clots.

  • i agree and had the dr not done an u/s at 8 wks we wouldn't have known. because mine was molar my levels were normal and i had all the signs of a pregnancy. if it was a symptom i had it. i had a little brown spotting a couple of days but nothing i thought i needed to worry about. on paper i should've been pregnant but i wasn't and i'm very bitter about it.
  • I agree - I hate always being the downer but I reply truthfully to posts asking if something could be wrong. I'd rather scare someone than have them think they're ok and miss something important.

    And the "I ate lunchmeat, soft cheese, blah blah blah" and my baby is fine. Or even more so the "our parents used BPA bottles and we're fine"...not everyone in our age group is "fine"....makes me SO angry. And listeria is real and pregnant women are susceptible to it. Yes, the risk is like 1 in 10,000, but what if you are that one and your baby dies? Then the statistics don't really matter, so don't mock someone for trying to be as careful as they can.

    I'm not saying you're a bad mom if you use bottles with BPA or eat lunchmeat, just that every woman is entitled to weigh her own risk/benefit threshold and shouldn't be judged for using her own judgment on the matter.

    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • I agree...I think many people on here become sudden doctors. Although there are girls on here looking for answers and choose to come here rather then go to the doctor. When I spotted at 9 weeks I immediately called my doctor, I didn't think to come on the nest! LOL It's different for everyone and although there are sometimes m/c signs sometimes there aren't...as some of us have found out the hard way.
    Don't feel bad about being bitter...I think you earned it!
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