Today marks four weeks to the day I found out we were miscarrying our little one at 9 weeks. I rebounded as best I could and am trying to get through each day at work with 4 pregnant people - 2 of whom I am quite close to (one being my direct boss).
This evening, my close friends who I also work with (both - they are married and met there) announced to me that they are pregnant - 13 weeks. I almost dropped the phone. They are incredible people - any child is going to be incredibly blessed to call them parents and I am thrilled - somewhere in my body - for them. But I'm devastated. They have the same due date (give or take a day). It makes 5 (sort of 6) pregnant people at work and I just don't think I can handle it. I got off the phone and sobbed. I don't know what to do to take away this pain. I'm trying so hard to be happy for them and not jealous - they deserve this as much as any of us but I just wonder how God would first do this to me (anyone) and then ask me to find the strenght to face it in different ways everyday. I can't do it. I just can't.
Thanks for listening. I'm at more of a loss than I believe I ever have been and I'd do just about anything to take away this pain.