Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

My heart is aching...

Today marks four weeks to the day I found out we were miscarrying our little one at 9 weeks.  I rebounded as best I could and am trying to get through each day at work with 4 pregnant people - 2 of whom I am quite close to (one being my direct boss).

This evening, my close friends who I also work with (both - they are married and met there) announced to me that they are pregnant - 13 weeks.  I almost dropped the phone.  They are incredible people - any child is going to be incredibly blessed to call them parents and I am thrilled - somewhere in my body - for them.  But I'm devastated.  They have the same due date (give or take a day).  It makes 5 (sort of 6) pregnant people at work and I just don't think I can handle it.  I got off the phone and sobbed.  I don't know what to do to take away this pain.  I'm trying so hard to be happy for them and not jealous - they deserve this as much as any of us but I just wonder how God would first do this to me (anyone) and then ask me to find the strenght to face it in different ways everyday.  I can't do it.  I just can't.

Thanks for listening.  I'm at more of a loss than I believe I ever have been and I'd do just about anything to take away this pain. 

Re: My heart is aching...

  • I am so sorry.  I know how hard it is to see these people and be happy for them when you are hurting so much.  I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but there really is nothing to say other than I know how you feel.  I don't understand why these things happen and am having a very difficult time understanding why God would do this to someone once, or three times like me.  It is so hard and we are here for you if you need.
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

  • Sending you a huge hug!!!!

    That's a lot to take... It's ok to be sad for yourself while being happy for them. It doesn't make you a bad friend....
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  • I'm sorry that your heart is aching. (hugs)

     For me it got a little easier after I passed the 4 week point.  I stopped thinking that I should be X amount of weeks each monday and I stopped thinking about my D&C every tuesday. It still sucks though...I keep finding out about new pregnancies and it just devastates me.  I keep wondering why me?

    Hopefully it was just bad luck and it won't happen again.
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  • Wow, 6 people...that is rough. WHile my situation is not quite as many people, it is both my sister and sister in law who annoucned thier pregnancies...within the month after I lost our baby....yesteray was the one month mark since my d and c and it is not getting any easier. I hope you find comfort as i do in knowing that you are not in this alone and you are not the only one feeling hurt.
  • I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine going through that. My heart aches for you and the constant reminders of what you've lost. Hang in there.
  • awwww...*BIG HUGS*
    I totally know where you are coming from. I just found out my cousin is pregnant with her 2nd child. I also have a co-worker pregnant with her 2nd child in 2 years! I am SOOOO tired of being "happy" for other people. When is it MY turn? When will people be happy for ME? You are not alone...I feel this way everyday...and I feel like I am haunted with every pregnant woman I see and every pregnant announcement. All you can do is try to look to the future and keep telling yourself that no matter how sad you get, you can't change what happened. I know, no words are comforting but you aren't alone. Please message me if you need to talk more!
    Hugs again!
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