Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

** Margarita77 ** Stillbirth Delivery

I read your post below.  I am very sorry you may have to experience a stillbirth delivery.  I pray that will not happen.

I delivered my baby angel girl at 5 1/2 months pregnant, had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, and just delivered my baby angel boy at 5 months pregnant over the weekend.

Going through a stillbirth delivery is horrible, heartbreaking, and shocking.  No one should have to go through such a traumatic loss.

Since you asked about the experience, I can tell you mine.  The hospital gave me a memory box with both stillbirth deliveries.  The memory box had pictures of our baby angel, the clothes (including hat) and blanket  the baby was in when we held him/her, footprints, a poem, measurements, birth certificate the hospital made, and a few other things.

If you want, you can buy your own hat, outfit, and blanket.  Your baby will be extremely small, so definitely get a preemie outfit, preemie hat, and tiny blanket. You can also buy a small medal or pendant for your baby to wear if you want. You can take pictures of the baby with the medal/pendant, and then make sure you get it back.  Ask that you have the clothes and blanket returned to you, after they take your baby away. 

It's up to you if you want to make your own arrangements with a burial/cremation.  We chose to let the hospital do the cremation with both births.  For personal reasons, we didn't do a service.

I don't know if you are religious, but it was extremely important for us to have the baby baptized immediately after the birth.  We had our Catholic priest baptize the baby, and pray over us.

I made sure the nurse took pictures of our baby, and a picture of the baby being baptized by our priest.  After my first delivery, I regretted not taking a picture with the baby....however, with my second delivery, I still didn't do that.  When you're in the moment, you are just so upset, shocked, and it's such a personal time.....you just don't feel appropriate to have a nurse take a picture while you're holding your baby.  Of course, I wish I had a picture holding both our angel babies, but that's OK.  At least I have pictures.

Hold your baby as long as you want....and make sure you have alone time in the room without nurses or doctors.  I wish I would've held our babies longer.  It was just so emotional though.  

Even though I have my hospital memory boxes, I made my own memory boxes for all three of my baby angels.  Here is what I have in each box:

*  All the cards and notes from friends and family congratulating me on the pregnancy
*  Any special items given to me during the pregnancy
*  All the cards, notes, posts from chatboards, emails, etc. from friends and family after the loss.
* The cards that came with delivered flowers
* small teddy bears and fake roses.  I put memory ribbons around the roses
* Poems on being a mother and losing a child
* a journal
* any pendants/medals or special items given to me after the loss from others
* my hospital bracelet from my stay
* pictures from all my sonograms
* pictures of all the flowers I recieved after the loss
* notes that DH and I wrote to our baby angel

I really hope the best for you during your pregnancy.


Re: ** Margarita77 ** Stillbirth Delivery

  • **butt in**  Laura - I am so sorry for you losses.  I can not imagine having to go through this tragedy twice.  You are in my thoughts and prayers!  ((Hugs))
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  • Thank you so much.  It's been so heartbreaking, and incredibly difficult.  :(
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  • margarita77 - I really hope you are doing well.  Not sure if you've read this post yet.

    Anyway, I've been thinking a lot since my delivery last week.  I have been regretting so much about my stay at the hospital - not spending much time with my baby, not having a picture with him, not doing more with the time, I had, etc..

    However, you can't plan for the loss...no matter what.  I delivered two babies...I had so many regrets with the first delivery and the time with my baby angel girl, but I didn't do anything differently with my baby angel boy - I was just toooo upset, toooo sick, tooo much in pain, tooo much in shock, tooo hysterical crying, totally on drugs and out of it, etc., etc., etc., etc....................

    I held my baby angel boy and was with him for only 15 minutes.  I wish I had him the entire 20 hours after delivery, but I wasn't in the right mindframe.

    I realized though, I was with my baby the 5 months I carried him - I was closest to him for 3,360 hours.  That's what matters, and those 3,360 hours plus 15 minutes I held him, will forever be in my heart.  I don't need a picture with him or my baby angel girl, to remember what it was like looking down on their beautiful faces. 

    Hugs to you....I really hope the best.  Laura

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