Telling the family followed by D-R-A-M-A

musiclibby210

Hey all - I'm new to this whole board posting but I'm looking for opinions.  

 

We recently told most of our family about being pregnant!  They were all ecstatic of course, as this is the first grandchild for my mother in law.  My DH's parents are divorced, and my DH has not spoken to his father in several months.  To make a long story short, the DH's father's girlfriend (if you can figure this one out) said some not nice things about my family, it pissed him off, he said something to his father, they had words, and well, now they don't speak.  Okay so move along now, Christmas rolls around, and we post on facebook about the baby.  Well the DH's father's girlfriend reads this and sends me about 20483205432 text messages, all of the passive aggressive whoa is them kind.  I went nuts, called her up, told her it's not my problem that my DH and his father don't talk, and that when his father wants to apologize for all the negative things he said, then my DH will talk to him!  

Anywho - this is getting long - sorry!  What SHOULD we have done?  Should he have called him regardless or just let it happen the way it did?  Any suggestions for what to do now?

 

Thanks in advance - Hope you all had a great holiday!!

 

Libby 

ArcticFox

That does sound like a lot of drama.  How did the girlfriend have your cell phone number?  I would say that you should stay out of the drama between DH and his family, or at least check with your DH first.  Not because it is necessarily wrong, but your DH may want to try a different approach (like my DH let his family walk all over him, but that was his perogative).  But you should definitely have your boundaries - your DH needs to stand up for you so that his family is not causing all this drama in your life too.

Good luck, I have been through a lot of inlaw drama, especially on holidays, so I hope it gets better for you.

dle927

Congrats on your pregnancy! 

I would have let it happen the way it did.  

My DH's family is very distant and I feel like it's always DH trying to contact them at my suggestion.  I've seen how they treat him, how weird some of the things they do are (FIL has not met our DD yet - no reason why, Step FIL posted doctored videos of DD and DH on facebook that were highly innappropriate, MIL has chosen husbands over her kids, etc.) and I've stopped pushing the phone calls, emails.  He still talks to them but they are not close and I'm sick of seeing my DH hurt by them.  

I wouldn't have cared if they found out about my pregnancy via fb, but DH called them to tell them (or emailed some of them) and I have not heard a congrats from any one of them.   They are just not like family should be.

 

SeptemberBride'08

Congrats on your pregnancy!

As far as DH's family issues I think you calling probably made things worse and I would refrain from calling either FIL or gf in the future. I would just let things simmer down for now. It really matters on how bad the things FIL said about your family....are they forgivable or not? If they are not you and DH have to decide together if you are going to cut him from your life. If not you guys will have to work on finding ways to mend and communicate with FIL. Either way good luck!

aSp6907

We basically had the same thing happen to us. BIL started a ton of crap around our wedding. DH and his brother have never been really close but it put a strain on the rest of the family to the point all of them blamed me. When we found out we were pregnant BIL found out from MIL. DH received a nasty email from BIL. DH emailed him back telling him not to contact him anymore. He is no longer part of his life. It was sad that it got to that point but DH had enough. With only a few drama episodes from MIL it has been quite and very nice with out BIL interfering and starting drama.

 

I probably would have text her back telling her if she has a problem she can talk to DH about it or I would have made him call. Sorry you are dealing with inlaw problems, its even worse when it happens at such a happy time in your life. Good luck.

musiclibby210

Thank you guys for all the feedback!  I really appreciate it!!  Things have simmered down and I am definitely not dealing with any of it  The DH can decide what he wants to do and that is that  

 

Happy New Year friends!!