Well, no sticks on the breast of the new-fallen pee this year (NBFX-mas mentioned)

ColindaP · December 2010

But I had to fulfill my annual Night Before Christmas duties. So, without further ado, I give you the bitter jaded TTCAL6+er's NFBX-mas.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my ute,
Not a pregnancy was stirring, the point was moot.
The HPTs were placed in the bathroom with care,
Though even a positive wouldn't mean a baby, to be fair.
We infertiles were nestled all snug in our beds,
While visions of parenthood fucked with our heads.
And I in my depression, and my husband wondering the source,
Had just settled in for some properly-timed intercourse.
When up in my brain there arose such a clatter,
That we took a hiatus to see what was the matter.
That dumb fertile ho's new-fallen gestation
Was giving the lustre of hate on top of my frustration.
When what should my wondering brain recall?
But the maddening and disconsolate futility of it all.
With a small dash of hope, so lively and quick
That I knew in a moment the optimism wouldn't stick.
More rapid than eagles, my vexes, they occurred,
And I cussed, then I drank, and then yelling, I slurred:
Damn miscarriage! Damn embryos! Damn eggs not worth ***!
Damn doctors! Damn procedures! Goddamn all of it!
From the top of my ute, to the bottom of my heart,
I wish that my pregnancies would cease to depart.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the hall
My husband saying we'd get through this, no matter what may befall.
He was dressed in his PJs, from his head to his toes,
His expression hardly tarnished by our fertility woes.
We're so broke from treatment, he had holes in his socks,
And he looked like Pandora, about to open the box.
His eyes, they twinkled! His smile, how eager!
Even though our chances of success are meager.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
As he said, "Let's get this IVF show on the road."
He's hopeful and naive, a right jolly kinda guy,
And I agreed with him in spite of my dismal egg supply.
But a wink of his eye and a pat on my arm,
Soon gave me to know I need not be alarmed.
We sprang to our bed, to our doubts gave release,
And away they all some of them flew, unburdening the beast.
But I heard my husband say as he turned out the light,
"Merry Christmas my love, let's not give up the fight."