For those of you who had early losses...

caitlin*marie

Background : So my FI and I were pregnant for the first time and were still "naive." We chose names for our baby basically the second I got my BFP. We said goodbye at 11w5d (baby only measured 8w5d). 

So this leads me to my question to you all. If you had given your angel babies names would you still use those names for your current pregnancy? I kind of feel awful using the names we chose for that baby because they were specially chosen, KWIM? But my FI really likes the boys name we chose and wants to use it if this is in fact a boy (doc is supposedly 80% sure). We chose a different girls name though. What do you think??

Scout05

We gave our babies nicknames, I think to avoid this very situation. I think if I had referred to one of my babies by a specific set of names, I could not use them for another child.

TheGregory's07

ambrandau2:

We gave our babies nicknames, I think to avoid this very situation. I think if I had referred to one of my babies by a specific set of names, I could not use them for another child.

This.  

LnR70707

This is why we will not be deciding on a specific name for this baby until after birth....I don't think I could re-use a name either.

Ernie52408

We lost our LO at 6 weeks but I had a very strong feeling the baby was girl . If it was a girl her name would have been Leah (DH and I have had that named picked out for years.) I told DH I could never use that name again because that was the name of my last baby. If this baby had been a girl I may have used Leah as a middle name as a memorial, but I could never use it as the first name.

This time we waited to discuss names until we reached the point where we would have known if we lost a boy or girl.

dorothy&gail

ambrandau2:

We gave our babies nicknames, I think to avoid this very situation. I think if I had referred to one of my babies by a specific set of names, I could not use them for another child.

This also. We had a missed miscarriage, baby passed around 11-12 weeks.  We didn't have a nickname for that baby, but didn't pick a name either, we just had names we liked but decided to wait until we had the baby to decide.  With this pregnancy we went with the nickname approach, we call him Sprout.  He will be sprout until we meet him in person and pick a name.  It's up to you about using the name you used for the baby you lost, I guess my opionion is I wouldn't be able to.  We were naive and jumped the gun and had bought nursery bedding the first time around before we had the loss, and I had a hard time deciding to even keep that.  We only did because my DH reminded me that we picked a neutral theme so that the nursury would stay that way for all babies we had, we were not going to change the nursury for each baby.  So, the bedding wasn't really for one specific baby.  Sorry you are going through this, but congratulations on your pregnancy!

companion cube

We had come to the conclusion that Danielle was going to be our girl name before the miscarriage, but I guess since we don't know the gender of the baby we lost I don't feel like we are recycling the name. Although, the name was chosen to honor a family member who has passed, so I guess that changes things a bit, it was never specially chosen specifically for that baby, and I associate it with the loss of my cousin, and not the loss of my angel.

caitlin*marie

Thank you for your responses ladies. I still have lots of time to decide. I might go with not choosing a name until I see my baby face to face as well. 

Jo&Matt6609

ambrandau2:

We gave our babies nicknames, I think to avoid this very situation. I think if I had referred to one of my babies by a specific set of names, I could not use them for another child.

We did this too.

Ryan&Kristin062009

Our loss was at 11w3d and while we did have names pretty much set in stone, we never associated the baby with either of the names. Maybe it would have been different if we had found out the sex. So yes, we will be using either name for our take home baby.

itsmevkb

I think there's a difference between deciding on a girl name and a boy name prior to finding out the gender, and thus probably before you actually called your baby by that name, and actually naming your baby one of those names.  My husband and I have had a boys name picked out even before I got pregnant a second time.  When I lost my son last Christmas we named him something else.

I think it's fine to use the names you already picked out and perhaps, if you want, pick out a special name for the baby you lost. 

vlewis515

I would still use the girl name we picked, maybe not the boy name just because I've come up with others that I like. But we also gave our baby the nickname Pook. Although I have on occasion called Jackson by the nickname Pook.

x0stephanie

I only had a 1 week window of excitement so I never got to think about names. I would feel wierd re-using one though.

uklawgirl

itsmevkb:

I think there's a difference between deciding on a girl name and a boy name prior to finding out the gender, and thus probably before you actually called your baby by that name, and actually naming your baby one of those names.  My husband and I have had a boys name picked out even before I got pregnant a second time.  When I lost my son last Christmas we named him something else.

I think it's fine to use the names you already picked out and perhaps, if you want, pick out a special name for the baby you lost. 

Yeah, I would agree. I had a very similar loss as you LO, and I always felt it was a boy but we did not give our lost baby a formal name. He would have been named for both of his grandfathers, and so we absolutely would have wanted to use that name again and probably would have named our lost baby something different.

MBL105

I;m on loss #5.  I have the same names in my head that I like, but each time you do grow and change and your likes change too.  Mostly, I don't think names anymore. In fact I think if I try again and if I get past half way or ultimately do have a baby I will reserve naming for birth.