Need advice re: DD's hair

neverblushed

Ugh. I'm so tired of dealing with my 10 y/o DD's hair.  Until she was about 8, we kept her hair chin length with bangs.  At that point, she wanted to grow out her bangs and let her hair grow a little longer.  Now her hair is a shoulder-length blonde mop.  She generally doesn't wear barrettes or ponytail holders, and her hair hangs in her face and looks like a mess.  At least the chin length cut had a little style and lift to it.

Also, she forgets to brush it and I have to nag her or I wind up doing it for her.  Her hair gets tangly; she freaks out when I'm brushing it, and we wind up in an argument.  

Finally, I told her that if she wants her hair long, she needs to be responsible for it.  If she's not old enough to take care of her hair; she's not old enough to call the shots about her hairstyle.  So, she said she'd take care of it herself.  I even got her some fancy, grown-up detangler/conditioner spray.  She did okay for about 4 days, with some reminders from me.  Then yesterday, as we got ready to leave for the bus stop, I noticed that the back of her hair had a big rats nest in it.  It was a nasty snarl, that was hiding up next to the nape of her neck.  It took me about 15 mintues to get it worked out and we missed the bus.  Turns out she's been brushing just the outer layer of hair.  

I told her this was pretty good proof that she's not ready to handle her own hair yet, and that I was going to take her to get a haircut during break.  She was very upset, crying, etc.

So, I have 3 questions:

--at what age is it normal for girls to take care of shoulder-length hair on their own? (I had boy-short hair until college, so I have no personal experience with this!)

--are there any tips/tricks I can use to help her do a better job independently?

--What kind of hairstyle would work for a 10 year old that would be a step up from "shoulder length mop" in terms of style, but still easy to handle on her own and not require lots of skill or time?

TIA! 

aggy34

If she wants it shoulder length try it with layers in it.  This is what I have currently and it is an easy wash and go type style all it requires is a comb in the morning and I have very wavey hair, not straight at all so it tangles easily with other styles.  Another thing to try is when she washes it to make sure she is using conditioner and combing it out when she gets out of the shower/bath and if it is at night not to go to bed with wet hair.  These were my moms tricks with me when I was younger because I had hair down to my butt and hated ponytails so it was always down.

DandelionMom

I still help my almost 10 y/o with her shoulder length hair.  She's got crazy curls though so needs a little extra help. 

Layers definitely make longer hair more manageable. 

XCrissCrossX

I don't have a school aged child but I'm going to throw this out there: have her braid it before bed, so it doesn't get all messy while she is sleeping.

 

debbiezoey

Whoa...I could have written this post myself!  My daughter is 8 and we have been dealing with keeping in neat, rats nests at the nape (hidden by only brushing the top layer) and just general daily maintainence.  We both have long hair and in her defense, she has a lot of wavy curl underneath which I don't, mine is STICK-STRAIGHT, so hers gets tangled much easier than mine.

 She washes and conditions her own hair, I just tell her when to do it.  She is expected to brush it everyday and at this point, she really doesn't do much styling. 

Here are some tips that we use:

1.  Spray in a leave in conditioner after it's washed.  It keeps the hair silkier and easier to maintain in between washings.

2.  Have her hair thinned out.  I had my stylist majorly thin hers with a razor and that has totally helped keep it more manageable.  Needs to be done every 3 months or so though!

 3.  Straighten her hair after it's washed and dried.  This really keeps my daughter's hair in check for DAYS.  I only have her wash about twice a week and this really keeps it easy to brush in between!

 Good luck!