Feeling reflective today

ksyknelvr73

I don't know why exactly...maybe b/c it's Christmas time and so it's a lot easier to remember things from a year or years ago b/c of the holiday.

I got my BFP last year on December 19th...I was pregnant this time last year. Not only that, I was about to tell my entire family on Christmas Day. I was also going to tell my close friends on New Year's Eve when they come over to our house for the party we were hosting. We didn't find out it was a missed miscarriage until the end of January, so last Christmas season I was in a WONDERFUL mood and so happy to share the good news.

I guess it's just weird to think that this is the second Christmas I'll be pregnant. This time, I'll be 32 weeks pregnant. I can't even believe it. It's a little stinging when you think you've been pregnant for the better part of a year.

I know that there are quite a few of you who probably feel this exact same way. You've spent a year or maybe even more being pregnant but without a baby to show for it. I just want to say that I really feel for all of us and I also feel like we WILL get that day that we deserve - where we give birth to the joys of our lives and get to take them home.

kilissa

I completely understand what you are saying.  My first BFP was Dec 7th, I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time a year ago today.  I was pregnant last Christmas and I'm still pregnant this Christmas.  It's bittersweet.  It's painful to think of what should have been, but I'm thankful for the little boy I have on the way.  I also had a missed miscarriage that I found out about at the end of January.  Now, my baby shower is scheduled over that weekend.  

I'm looking forward to when each of us can bring home our forever baby.  I hope the holidays bring peace and happiness for each of the PGAL girls. 

Sonadora

::hugs::

I totally understand. 

ikissedthecook

I know exactly what you are saying. I've been having very similar feelings. A year later after my first loss, two angel babies later, and still no baby in my arms. However, I'm starting to feel a bit more confident that this LO will be my take home baby! I think the holidays are a bit tough for us PGAL ladies. (((hugs)))

sophiemarie18

I'm so glad you posted this as I've been feeling the same way.  We discovered our missed miscarriage on Dec. 23 last year, so this Christmas is going to be such a stark contrast to last.  I spent so much of the holidays in a teary blur last year, that I really cannot even imagine what Christmas is going to be like this year.  I hate knowing that I should be bringing a little one to Christmas in my arms this year, and I'm afraid everyone is going to "forget" about our loss last Christmas since I'm pregnant now.  I'm hoping I can find a small way to acknowledge our loss this year while still celebrating and enjoying the holiday as we do have reason to celebrate this year.  You girls are right, the holidays are especially hard when you're pgal.