Overwhelmed

ericaandsy

Hi I'm new to this board and am debating whether or not I should call and make an appt with my Dr. I think it also helps to write this all out.

 I started back to work 3 weeks ago, and ever since then I feel like I have gone down hill. I am always stresse and overwhelmed. I am having a hard time balancing being a mama,wife and being back at work. Background on me..I am a first time Mommy. My husband works nights as a police officer (3 days out of the week which happen to be the days I also work I am alone at night)  I work in a fast paced dental office 4 days a week. I never know when my lunch breaks are, so pumping has been stressful, and my boss (who is also a mother) has not been the most supportive. I have been applying to different jobs. My husband and I have some debt that needs to be taken care of, and are hoping to have me drop down to working 1-2 days a week once my DD turns 1. I have already started my count down. 

I loved every second of my maternity leave, but little by little the closer it came to me going back to work my anxiety would set it. I took 12 weeks off from work, and tried my hardest to figure out how to not go back. I felt no emotion dropping my daughter off at her first day of daycare, and that really bothered me. Since going back to work I feel like I am not bonding the same with her. I come home exhausted from work (she isn't sleeping through the night anymore), and my daughter completely falls apart after I pick her up from daycare. I feel like I am constantly dealing with a upset baby. Since last week she has been hard to calm down, and I feel horrible for her (we have been home for almost 5 hours and I am just now eating supper). Lately I feel like I lose my patience easily with the smallest things (the dog, little tasks etc). When the littlest tasks go wrong for me I freak out, and it's normally on my husband.  I still feel absolutely no desire for sex and have felt that way since I was pregnant.I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy. My daughter is 3 1/2 months old and I am still 25lbs from prebaby weight. I admit I have not been very commited to excersising, but mainly because I struggle to find the time to fit it in every day. I cry every once in a while but I am not a constant flood of tears, I almost feel like I lack emotion. I find myself feeling very jealous of the bond my husband and my daughter have. Overall I feel like a different Mommy after going back to work, and that makes me feel awful. I love my daughter and want to be the best Mommy possible to her.  I felt fine at my 6 week checkup ,and didn't think post partum depression could happen later on.

 

Are any of you experiencing this after going back to your work routine?

 

HappyMommy28

I'm sorry your dealing with this.  I'm fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my LO.  DH is in the military that whenever I even think about him leaving anxiety sets in.  I'm hoping it wont be too bad once it actually happens. 

You should try contacting your doctor.  Mine told me that sometimes PPD can happen as late as 4 or 5 months after you have the baby.  Best of luck to you and I hope you feel better soon.

ericaandsy

Thank you! I have an appt next week

jaime5121

I'm sorry that this reply is coming so late.  My PPD didn't set in until DS was 7 months old.  I was totally taken by surprise b/c I never knew it could happen after 6 weeks.  If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm in much the same boat, my DH is also a police officer who works nights.  So, not only do I work all day, but I also take care of LO all night by myself.  So, feel free to PM me if you need someone to vent to.  I know what you are going through.  I hope your appt goes well!  GL!