Clicky: Is your child spoiled?

Jen2124

Making clicky to possibly see more honest answers.

The second part of my question is: Do you think spoiling your child/children is "bad"? (not being a spoiled brat, but spoiled in general).[Poll]

DevonPow

DS is spoiled, sure. We are very lucky and he has a nice house, goes to a nice(pricey) preschool, is able to take a lot of classes and vacations. He isn't overloaded with toys, but he certainly isn't lacking. But, he doesn't get everything he wants. He"works" to earn his own $ for certain things he wants. He knows not to ask for or expect things to be purchased for him while out, and I am very strict with tantrums, etc - he knows if he throws a fit we are done with whatever it is we are doing. Whining automatically means he doesn't get what he is asking for, etc. So, he is spoiled, but not a brat.

BubblyToes

I fear that my child is hopelessly spoiled.

He needs a sibling.  Badly.

Littlejen22

I think that the word spoiled is used to generally sometimes.  The first definition of "spolied" on dictionary.com is "to damage severely or harm (something), esp. with reference to its excellence, value, usefulness, etc."

I honestly do not think that the word spoiled can me anything but negative.  And I do not think that having nice thing spoils a kid, especially having a nice house, but having everything you can want is being spoiled b/c a child cannot appreciate what they have if they have all their wants and needs met.  I am reading "Have a New Kid by Friday" and he talks about kids being spoiled and I think he has a lot fo good points but I just started the book.

Oh, and I honestly a lot of people think their kids are spoiled but rationalize that they are not spoiled brats when in reality their kids are sometimes brats b/c they are spoiled but no one wants to acknowledge it in their own kid.  Things are changing in my house right now b/c I can see that if nothing changes my oldest is becoming spoiled and I do not like it, the last 3 or 4 days I have started doing things differently and you would be amazed that DS has given me more hugs without being asked for them, says thank you and please more, and quits the begging sooner.

jettagurl

I think there are several definitions for 'spoiled.' 

Sure my kids have a lot of 'stuff.' but they are expected to take care of it, and they haven't been taught feel entitled to things. 

More importantly, they have a whole lot of people that love them, and show them by spending time with them.  In that way they are spoiled.  

There's a lot of kids that have everything they want, but don't know what it's like to be genuinely loved. Are they spoiled? 

 

camrude

Yes - my kids are spoiled. They do not get everything they want, but like the pp said - they are not lacking. That being said, DD is starting to understand giving back to others. (donating old toys, helping pick out toys  - but knows we are giving them to Toys for Tots, etc.) - so I don't think we've crossed the line. I am conscious of it though. I don't think all the stuff is necessary.

Jen2124

I guess by spoiled I mean, do you buy your kids too much "stuff"...that isn't needed. I think I totally do and I don't think it's a good thing, but I can't seem to help it.

I have seen parents that can't say "no" to their kid(s), but the kid is still not a brat. I feel like lot's of people over indulge their kids (me included at times)....and I really never wanted to be that way, but it is SO hard for me. They are so happy and grateful and excited when I do nice things, that I keep doing it...yet deep down, I know I prob should not. Make sense?

camrude

Jen2124:

I have seen parents that can't say "no" to their kid(s), but the kid is still not a brat. I feel like lot's of people over indulge their kids (me included at times)....and I really never wanted to be that way, but it is SO hard for me. They are so happy and grateful and excited when I do nice things, that I keep doing it...yet deep down, I know I prob should not. Make sense?

Yes makes sense - this is me.

ljlkm

Insofar as he doesn't smell bad and isn't growing mold, no he's not spoiled. Insofar as he doesn't appreciate the things/privileges he has, yes he is spoiled. But that's age appropriate.

Carol*Brady

Yes, they are spoiled & yes, I consider it a bad thing.  I wish I was a better/stronger/stricter parent.  I suck.  But they are not "brats" & sweet as can be but they are spoiled, take a lot for granted & have no real concept of sacrifice, real generosity (you know the kind that hurts), etc...but I am hoping these life lessons will be learned down the road.

Bellisimo

Perhaps by some people's standards, but generally speaking I'd say no.  He knows that when I say "No" it means I'm not budging.  Does he have LOTS of toys in a big ol' playroom?  Yes.  But compared to some of his other friends, neighbors it pales in comparison.  When he was younger and an only child I overdid it with buying him "stuff": baby toys, clothes, DVDs, etc.  Now that I've been a parent for 4 years I realize that none of that is necessary, a lot of it is actually a waste of money and scaling back is a good idea.  I'm trying to teach him to value what he does have and to share with others and to not expect to get everything he wants when he wants it.  He's not a brat....but he IS a typical 4 yr. old child.  I'm quite certain that some would cast their eyes upon our lifestyle and think "Man they're spoiled!"...but if you don't KNOW us then you don't know that the word "spoiled" is relative and doesn't necessarily apply to our situation.