Ques. re: dh + email accounts + privacy

Zed58

I was having this talk with my sister-in-law earlier today and wondering about how other relationships are with this stuff.

Dh and I both have access to each others emails accounts.  I know his passwords, he knows mine.  Neither one of us (at least I don't *think* either one of us) has an account that the other can't get into.

Is that weird?  SIL said that she has an account the my bro can get into, but then she has one that he can't.  She showed me the account that he can't get into (so as to show there wasn't any kind of funny business happening in there).  It's mostly emails to and from her girlfriends.  Mostly girl stuff.  SIL says it's the kind of stuff that isn't any of my bros business and that if the girls knew he could read the messages, she doesn't think that they would feel comfortable writing what they do.  

She also uses it for her receipts and stuff....like when she orders a gift for my bro and has to give an email address so they can send a confirmation.  Kinda makes sense.

I only ever check dh's email if he asks me to for some reason.  He travels a lot and often doesn't have internet access so he'll ask me to write someone for him or check to see if he's received a msg he's waiting for.

Any time dh does go into any of my accounts (which again, is only if I tell him he has to see something I was sent), he has to ask me for my passwords cause he just doesn't care enough to remember them.

Anyway, all this has lead me to wondering, how do other relationships handle email, facebook (seeing as I don't even have fb, I don't know even that's even a legit question), or other account access information? 

MrsManning10

My DH knows my passwords for just about everything... And I know his for everything except Amazon.com (he had his debit card set up to pay when he ordered stuff, and I kept on going in and ordering stuff and not telling him... he got irritated and finally changed it... whoops!).  But we really don't look at each other's stuff.  

I think that the only time he ever goes in my email is if I tell him I need him to print something for me that is in there... Or something like that.  I never look at his emails.  Also, we both have email on our phones, so if I really wanted to look at his emails, I could just grab his phone and look... I wouldn't need his password. 

ksulli

We never exchanged passwords, but DH has a personal computer that I can use whenever and his email is always open on it. Sometimes on the desktop, so I see it, but never really read it, although I certainly have access if I want it. I have an iTouch that DH uses sometimes, and again, the email is linked up so it doesn't need a password, so he could look, I don't know that he doesn't but doubt that he does.

Scout05

DH and I both have access to each other's various accounts. It just sort of evolved into that - our phone bill is sent to my account, the Comcast to his, and one of us needed to check it.

And like you, it's come up that one of us needed to sign into the other's accounts to check or change something. He needed a phone number from a friend on his FB, I needed someone's address from mine, but we were away from the computers.

It was never an issue. I don't remember the last time I was in his email for anything, but I could if I needed to. We gave up the passwords without thinking about it.

I will say, if my SO got weird about me seeing their email, that would bug me. It just seems like "what's the big deal?"

shaysmom05

We share our passwords for everything. DH hardly ever gets on his FB or email. I hardly get on my email. lol The only account I don't have the password to is his army email account because that password changes all the time.

If I want to check his or vice versa, all we have to do is say so. We're pretty much open books with each other, even when it comes to girl talk. lol (I'm sure if his hair was longer, he'd let me braid it too. )

lindsay.lou

DH knows our "shared" passwords (like to access our bank account, mortgage, electric bill, etc).

He doesn't know any of my e-mail/Facebook/Amazon type passwords. I'd be happy to tell him, he's just never asked and very very rarely uses the computer. He usually has to ask ME what HIS email password is b/c he can't remember it.

I only know his password b/c I made his e-mail account for him (he was almost 30 and had never had an email address!! wtf? THAT is how infrequently he uses computers)

Sonadora

We don't access each other's accounts. I could probably get into his as he could probably get into mine since we use the same passwords for lots of things, so we could probably easily guess each other's, but I wouldn't do that. He's gone into my email and vice versa when one of use doesn't have internet access and needs something, but that's about it.

 

leneae10

We have our own email server so he has full access to mine and I to his.  I know he has a gmail acct (as do I) for a backup but I dont' really care to know the password.  I know he would give it to me if I asked, but I really don't care.  Our comps are both pretty unlocked and we each stay logged into FB and other such places (incl the Bump, where he threatens to make fake posts under my name).

Occasionally, he'll ask me to login to his and vice versa to forward somethign or whatnot.  I don't have anything to hide nor does he.

shaysmom05

leneae10:

We have our own email server so he has full access to mine and I to his.  I know he has a gmail acct (as do I) for a backup but I dont' really care to know the password.  I know he would give it to me if I asked, but I really don't care.  Our comps are both pretty unlocked and we each stay logged into FB and other such places (incl the Bump, where he threatens to make fake posts under my name).

Occasionally, he'll ask me to login to his and vice versa to forward somethign or whatnot.  I don't have anything to hide nor does he.

HAHAHA This is a move my DH would make. He'd probably end up having me banned or half of his post would have *s in it since they love blocking our "naughty words".

rock-elle

DH could probably guess mine of he had too, but honestly I really don't think we go into each others shiz, he could if he ever needed to, but I like having my personal space and personal stuff.

kelliandjustin

I think he knows some of the passwords to my stuff and I know most of his as well but most of its because I do the bill paying and that kind of stuff online so I need to know the passwords.  As far as email goes - we both can get into each others email but just don't. 

LawLove08

I know how to get into DH's yahoo account, simply because he uses the same password for everything. ?He probably knows how to get into mine for the same reason. ?I've never looked at his, and I have no idea if he's ever looked at mine, though I highly doubt it. ?We're pretty trusting of eachother. ?I've also never looked at his FB page (logged in as him, I mean), though I'm sure I could 'cause he probably used the same password. ?I know the password to his phone as well, so I could look at texts if I wanted. If I ever had any suspicions, I wouldn't hesitate to look at either or both, I've just thankfully never been in that position.

We both have work e-mails and don't have access to eachother's work accounts. ?We're both lawyers, and for ethical and confidentiality reasons we obviously cannot allow others to access our email.?

vlewis515

That sounds exactly like the way it is for us. I remember all his passwords. He doesn't care enough to remember any of my stuff (even though I use the same password or some variation of it on everything) so if he has to get into something he has to ask me.

I get into his email periodically to see if he's gotten any recent emails from his mom. I love his mom and I talk to her pretty frequently but every now and then she'll email him a huge long email or call and talk to him for like 2 hours (she's long winded our convos last just as long!), and then when I ask him what everyone's been up to his response is, "same ole same ole". BS I know she didn't talk to you for 2 hrs about nothing, so if I press it further he'll just say he just talked for 2 hrs and doesn't want to talk for another 2 to tell me what all is going on. Dork. So I've taken to calling her the next day to get all the happenings in NC or going in and looking at his mom emails when he tells me she sent one!

Mrs.Leah.Maria

DH and I both know each other's passwords and all email accounts, to my knowledge. Dh just dropped his Droid, so he will routinely call me to check in on an email or pull some information. It works for us.

damabo80

We handle it the same way you do. I know DH's password, but don't bother to go into his email unless he asks me to (like, if I'm using the computer, etc). Vice versa is true as well.

DH rarely uses FB, so the computer is saved with my username and password for that website, so if he goes to FB, it goes into my account automatically.

kellie7

i don't think i've ever had any interest to know my dh's passwords. he can easily get into anything of mine because i keep a list of usernames and passwords on my computer. it has our logins to pay various bills as well as my personal stuff - like the bump and my email. his email has nothing of interest to me. i'm guessing it's just a bunch of car guys talking about car stuff. maybe i'm just naive. i've never looked through his phone either. again, just full of car-guy texts. i wouldn't understand what they were talking about anyways.

bbhalphen

DH and I pretty much know each others' passwords because oftentimes we use the same ones.  We don't have any desire to check each others' emails, though!