Advice for coping/handling NICU...

4510heather

Tomorrow I am being released after my c/section, but my girls are still in the nicu. So I need some advice:

1)  What types of schedules do you recommend/have you found to work well for visiting the LOs?  My girls are eating at 6, 9, 12, 3 etc.  The nurse suggested we try to spend at least 6 hours a day in the NICU and to get to do as many feedings as possible.  Thoughts/recommendations based on that?

2)  Any suggestions on how to pass down time in the NICU? 

3)  Any suggestions on how to deal with recovering from a c/s and visiting the NICU? (My DH is going to be a SAHD, so he has no work obligations that prevent him from going to/from the NICU frequently and we live about 20 minutes away). 

Any other advice for dealing with this transition? I'm an emotional wreck!

TIA! 

ShannonMarieH

1. We would visit for 6-8 hours, usually from one nurse shift change to the next shift change. At that time DD was our first so it wasn't like I had a lot of other obligations.

2. I passed time writing thank notes for gifts, sending birth announcements, starting the memory books. I also read books or magazines. Stare at baby.

3. I had a vaginal birth so I can't give any c/s advice. Make sure you grab the comfy chair when you get there if they have one. Ours had ones that reclined.

It's tough having a NICU baby but I tried to remember that this was extra time I got to have  with the baby because she was suppose to be in my tummy still. 

Tlucey

We also lived 20 min from the hospital, however, you need to rest as much as possible after your c-section so you can take care of your baby when she is released. My folks happened to be in town when I had to have an emergency c-section, and they stayed an additional wk to help me recover & to drive me back n forth to the hospital. I only went 2-3 times a day, which allowed me to bring in breast milk and to breastfeed her. My husband would go during the evening while he was working to feed her at least once to bond. I probably spent 2 hrs each time with her.

It's not easy leaving them, but they are in good care and they'll tell you to make sure you rest too. Our LO was released 2 wks later and I was still in pain and thankful my husband took 4 wks off to help me and the baby.

 Take your meds too, and also get a belly band, it'll help give you support. One of the nurses gave me one and I never took it off! It was a huge help! Bring your boppy with you and keep your feet up while your there.

 

babygreta

Thank you for posting this! I'll be joining you soon as I am having a c-section tomorrow, and am really curious about how everything is going to pan out with recovery & visiting the baby, as well as just the normal visiting schedule. Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

IncogNeato

We were very close to the hospital so we usually went for the 6am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm feedings and sometimes the 9pm. Then I pumped every 3 hours overnight. Doing the 6am and 9pm made for a very short night so I wouldn't recommend doing that for long. We also couldn't hold LO for long since she needed to be under the bili lights so our presence wasn't very useful to her. She couldn't even see us with her goggles on. Sometimes we'd skip one daytime feeding so we could run errands, etc.

 Good luck! T&P for you! We weren't in the NICU for long, so if your stay is longer you'll have to be flexible and find a balance. Hang in there!

At1stsight

You will find a rhythm for what you want to do. For us, I was there from morning to night (~7am until 8pm) because I could be and wanted to be. Other people need shorter visits. Whatever keeps you sane and helps you feel connected.

I read books, listened to music, wrote cards, did crossword puzzles, talked to DH or the grandparents (who visited most days), pumped. When I needed a break, I'd walk to the Ronald McDonald House in our hospital which has facilities for parents with kids in the NICU/PICU; a living room and kitchen where you could grab some free food, check email, watch tv if you wanted, etc.

My discharge day was the worst day of my life. It is so hard, but just try to focus on how you're being the best parent you can be by ensuring your DDs get the best care, and right now, that care is at the hospital rather than at home. :hugs: GL to both ladies who posted in here with these concerns!

BabyBebe1

It's totally individual, but for me, I couldn't handle 6 hours (or any more) straight in a row there. I needed to get out and break it up...not that I didn't want to be with DS, but more that it was dark, quiet, and just really hard sometimes. I would typically do from like 9-12 (and be there for those two feedings) and then come back around 2 or 3 and stay until 6. 

Passing time - I would totally bring a laptop if I were you. I brought mine and they had wireless so I spent time doing that. A book is also a good plan...it's actually a pretty good reading environment. Often I would just hold DS and rock him and just be, but I'm not sure if you guys are able to do that yet. One other thought is to have friends visit - I appreciated the company very much and had some amazing heart to hearts which helped me so much.

Hang in there. I found that pumping helped a lot - it made me feel like I had a purpose and that he needed me.  

meldoo2002

1)  What types of schedules do you recommend/have you found to work well for visiting the LOs?  My girls are eating at 6, 9, 12, 3 etc.  The nurse suggested we try to spend at least 6 hours a day in the NICU and to get to do as many feedings as possible.  Thoughts/recommendations based on that? I think you need to do whatever you are comfortable with.  I spent from 8am-2pm there most days, went home, cooked dinner, and went back with DH from 7-9pm.  But they are my only children, I was off of work, and I just wanted to be with them as much as possible.  It was very relaxing to me to sit by their side. 2)  Any suggestions on how to pass down time in the NICU?   I worked on their baby books, pumped, and read.  I read alot of books while I was there.3)  Any suggestions on how to deal with recovering from a c/s and visiting the NICU? (My DH is going to be a SAHD, so he has no work obligations that prevent him from going to/from the NICU frequently and we live about 20 minutes away).   Sorry I didn't have a c/s... but if your DH is up for it I'd just go as frequently as you can that feels right to you.

luckycooky

1. Do what works best for you.  Like PP said, you have to allow yourself time to rest and relax.  I usually went in about noon and stayed until 6 or 7.

2. The NICU had wi-fi so I updated her Caring Bridge site.  They also had a couch in the room so I took naps between feedings.  Pumping took a lot more time that I expected. I also helped with her "cares" like changing diapers and taking her temp.

3. Go out on a date night, go out for a girl's night, and send him out with the guys.  Once LOs come home, you will have less flexability to do this and a huge part of recovery is taking time for yourself.