"miscarried"

lotus88

Can I just say that I hate the words miscarriage/miscarried?! I have such a hard time saying "I miscarried." It sounds like I mishandled something. I was negligent or something and I wasn't. I know I wasn't. So I hate saying it. I don't know how to really say it without being vague about "what happened."  That's all.

carrieandtim

I'm so sorry.  I totally understand that.  Here's my problem.  My name is Carrie.  People say "Hello Miss Carrie" all the time.  I just cringe.

(BTW, did my directions to add a pic to your siggy make sense?)

Shawnly82

Some people especially at work that didnt know about my MC have asked me recently so hows the baby?, I just say I lost it, which I guess isn't much better, but I hate that word too.

julesjb

I have tried a lot of combinations with people too. I lost it, miscarried....sometimes I feel like I wanna yell I failed even though I know thats not what happened.  But saying it outloud makes me feel like I did.

lotus88

Yeah. I find that I can talk about the factual/scientific part of what happened much more easily than anything emotional. I've used "i lost it", but then I feel like I should be looking for it. Like it's under the sofa with the cat toys or something. 

 

carrieandtim:

 Here's my problem.  My name is Carrie.  People say "Hello Miss Carrie" all the time.  I just cringe.

(BTW, did my directions to add a pic to your siggy make sense?)

 

Sorry you have to hear "miscarry" all the time. That will probably wear off in time. You had "Miss Carrie" first and it's a lovely way to be addressed.  When I went to try the picture think I was at work so I was blocked. I'll try later today after the holiday baking is done and I'm well into my pot of coffee.

yeliza h

I hate it. I don't go back to work until next week and but I am trying to figure out how I will tell someone that ask. I HATE the word miscarriage. Do I tell them I had a loss...because that word sucks too.

 

lotus88

Sometimes I think maybe I should say something like, "it wasn't my time." That seems to be what people tell me. That makes me angry too though. Because I feel like it was my time. I really wanted it to be. Maybe it's like admitting defeat? I don't know. 

ambs21

First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I'm right there with you on hating that stupid word.  By definition, the prefix mis- means badly or wrongly... none of us carried our babies badly or wrongly.  It wasn't our fault.  I cringe hearing "miscarriage".  Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but it seems like an insult.  I usually say "I lost my babies", but I really don't like that all that much better.  I didn't misplace them.  It may sound bad to some,  but I really would rather say that my babies died.  They did.  They were alive, and now they aren't.  It seems most honest and real to me, but to others, it is hard to hear.  I don't know why we spend so much time protecting others from our grief.

kimmiekp

I have used everything from "It was a false alarm" to... "It didn't work out..."  Usually people don't ask a whole lot of questions after that because they don't know what to say ... I'm glad I didn't tell a lot of people this time so there wasn't a lot of explaining to do... Waiting to miscarry right now can you imagine if I had people asking "hows the pregnancy"... oh well I'm waiting to miscarry... *eesh* none of this is fun...