FFFC

CalinsBride

Mamma2twins06:

haleymay18:

I always hope that someone is going to admit something that is just awful. Like an affair with the neighbor or something like that. I guess that is my FFFC, I yearn for a real confession from another bumpie.

 

Then I have one for u.  DH and I have an open marriage.  We sleep with who we want, when we want.  It's not something we excercise often, but it works for us. 

 We are hopelessly in love, and recognise that sometimes we just need something different.

Well, that was juicy. No one's gonna top that.

mavilabride4evah

Mamma2twins06:

it actually makes our marriage stronger.  It takes away the element of cheating, as it's no longer "forbidden" and less likely to happen. 

I thought it wouldn't work, but strangely it does.  I feel more secure in my marriage, as we always come home to each other.

But do you think your marriage would be at risk of cheating if you weren't in an open relationship? And if so, why not address those issues?

I'm all for an open relationship if people feel that is what they enjoy.  But I have some friends who also do it out of fear that they would have to deal with affairs otherwise.  Seems odd to me.

CalinsBride

TSD:

ljlkm:

Mamma2twins06:

Then I have one for u.  DH and I have an open marriage.  We sleep with who we want, when we want.  It's not something we excercise often, but it works for us. 

 We are hopelessly in love, and recognise that sometimes we just need something different.

Whoa! Honestly no judgment here--but I can not wrap my head around how anyone can do that. I think I'm just way too insecure or something.

 

Different strokes.

LOL! Sorry, but was that pun intended? Because I love it.

Echowysp

BelleBaby:

I don't feel like a very good mommy these days.  E is so sensitive lately and any little thing triggers a total meltdown.  So of course, B has learned this and takes every opportunity he can to make him cry.  It's driving me crazy.  Between telling B not to pick on E and comforting E, I'm going nuts.  It sometimes seems like all that E does anymore is whine or cry.  I just don't know what to do.  I know it's just a toddler thing and that he'll eventually grow out of this, but right now it's killing me.  There is nothing physically wrong with him, other than possibly getting his 2nd molars and a growth spurt.  He's just so cranky.

The demands on my time outside of the boys are ridiculous and I'm the type of person that can't stand to let anyone down.  In the middle of one of the boys' episodes last night, I actually found myself thinking that I was meant to have fertility issues because I wasn't meant to be a mom.  It almost feels like my kids are being punished by having me as a mom. 

I'm just feeling very, very lost right now.  I love my boys to death but I'm afraid that I'm heading toward a nervous breakdown at this pace.  It's to the point now when E starts whining, I start getting sick to my stomach.  It physically hurts me to hear him upset and not know what to do about it.

Sorry for the depressing FFFC.  I just needed to get that out.  I tried to talk to DH but his response is always "what do you want me to do about it".  If I knew what to do about it, I would have done it already! 

   So sorry you're going through a rough time.  You were meant to be a mom, please don't say that.  It's a very difficult age and we do the best we can to get them (and us!) through it. 

PM me if you ever want someone to vent to.

TSD

nolebride:

TSD:

I buy myself nice stuff all the time and I don't feel bad about it, don't need the excuse "mommies need nice stuff once a year too" because that's bunk- I deserve nice stuff when I can buy it. My son gets enough stuff and it's totally unrelated to me getting stuff. He'll have money in account and I'll have nice stuff too. It's not all about him. Or me. It's called balance.

I was just about to say my FFFC is that I've never, ever felt guilty about buying something for myself and not something for LO. He has plenty.

I find the guilt posts, "I'm a terrible mommy because __________" so stupid and annoying.  Tell me something really guilt-worthy then- like you you left your kid naked outside in the snow to bang the grocery bagger in the bathroom of the supermarket. THAT is something to feel uber-guilty about. Leaving them in a babyproofed room unattended while you make dinner, buying an expensive jacket/pocketbook/whatever, letting him/her watch 30 min of tv, going to get a mani/pedi while someone capable watched him/her, or going out to dinner/away for a night/weekend, going to work because you have to or want to, or letting him/her go to bed without eating dinner one night are not reasons for guilt. If you have gut-wrenching, need-people-on-the-bump to make you feel better about any of these things, you need a good therapist.

Mommy2B_Hart

Mamma2twins06:

haleymay18:

I always hope that someone is going to admit something that is just awful. Like an affair with the neighbor or something like that. I guess that is my FFFC, I yearn for a real confession from another bumpie.

 

Then I have one for u.  DH and I have an open marriage.  We sleep with who we want, when we want.  It's not something we excercise often, but it works for us. 

 We are hopelessly in love, and recognise that sometimes we just need something different.

Then here's mine...

 I'm jealous of this arrangement.  I feel like I would feel so much more fulfillfed as a person if I could just go out and have "a little fun" every once and a while.  DH is a great guy, we have a good marriage (I won't say wonderful at the moment, because it's a work in progress at the moment) but before him, I was a very sexually active (though always very safe) person.  That was almost 8 years ago.  I miss it.  I don't want to leave him, I wouldn't cheat on him, but if we had this arrangement, and were both comfortable with it, I'd jump all over the chance.

Echowysp

TSD:

ljlkm:

Mamma2twins06:

Then I have one for u.  DH and I have an open marriage.  We sleep with who we want, when we want.  It's not something we excercise often, but it works for us. 

 We are hopelessly in love, and recognise that sometimes we just need something different.

Whoa! Honestly no judgment here--but I can not wrap my head around how anyone can do that. I think I'm just way too insecure or something.

Happens more than you think. Not us, but I once had a collegue who had this kind of marriage. She told me this when she was drunk and I was staying at her house out of state for work. (I worked from home for a co in AZ and traveled all over the country). Her H was with another woman one of the nights I STAYED there. She totally didn't care, told me that's how they've stayed married so long, she told me she was sleeping with another collegue of ours, and that she and her H totally are in love. They've been married like 30+ years and you'd NEVER know they did the open thing.

Different strokes.

Yeah, I can barely get enough energy and sex drive up to have regular sex with the man I love, let alone another person.

ladysingstheblues

TSD:

nolebride:

TSD:

I buy myself nice stuff all the time and I don't feel bad about it, don't need the excuse "mommies need nice stuff once a year too" because that's bunk- I deserve nice stuff when I can buy it. My son gets enough stuff and it's totally unrelated to me getting stuff. He'll have money in account and I'll have nice stuff too. It's not all about him. Or me. It's called balance.

I was just about to say my FFFC is that I've never, ever felt guilty about buying something for myself and not something for LO. He has plenty.

I find the guilt posts, "I'm a terrible mommy because __________" so stupid and annoying.  Tell me something really guilt-worthy then- like you you left your kid naked outside in the snow to bang the grocery bagger in the bathroom of the supermarket. THAT is something to feel uber-guilty about. Leaving them in a babyproofed room unattended while you make dinner, buying an expensive jacket/pocketbook/whatever, letting him/her watch 30 min of tv, going to get a mani/pedi while someone capable watched him/her, or going out to dinner/away for a night/weekend, going to work because you have to or want to, or letting him/her go to bed without eating dinner one night are not reasons for guilt. If you have gut-wrenching, need-people-on-the-bump to make you feel better about any of these things, you need a good therapist.

Once again, very wise words from TSD.  Probably more words than necessary, but wise nevertheless.

TSD

CalinsBride:

LOL! Sorry, but was that pun intended? Because I love it.

Totally pun intended.

kiwi443

When I see toddlers with a pacifier and an obvious open bite, I judge. Big time.

nmr79

When DD was born, she had reddish (strawberry blonde) hair that I hoped would turn more blonde.  I have dark red hair, and was teased a bunch growing up because of it.  (My whole family has olive skin, brown eyes and either black or brown hair--recessive genes, I guess).  My family never gave me trouble, but kids at school did. 

Now, I am loving her hair, since she looks like a carbon copy of DH otherwise.  I feel like it's the only thing she got from me.  Also, I feel crappy about having regrets about her hair at all.  I should just be happy that she's healthy.  I just hope kids are nicer to her than they were to me.  I actually like having red hair now. 

Mamma2twins06

I don't think we would have cheating issues if the relationship wasnt open, it just takes away the temptation.

We decided to go this route because DH was a bit of a manwhore when he was younger (though always safe) and I had only been with 2 men.  He believed that just because we were in a comitted relationship that i should stop experiencing life. He wants me to be able to have experiences that he may not be able to give me.  And quite honestly, I couldn't take advantage of that unless he had the same priviledges. 

 Its not like we go out prowling for one night stands.  Anyone that we sleep with has been "approved" by the other SO and we have pretty set partners for when it does occur.

CalinsBride

Okay, I thought of one.

I judge stereotypical low income people more, now that I am one. I used to be a bleeding heart, I would give money to people on the street, etc. Now that I am broke, I know what resources are available in Canada for low-income families, and I just don't understand how anyone can stay poor with all the help that is out there.

There are programs that if you are over 25, unemployed and under educated, the government will pay for you to go to school AND pay for your living expenses while you're in school (I know because my aunt is completing this program). There is quite a bit of subsidized housing available (including programs where you are eligible as long as you have a 5 year plan to better your life). All you have to do is turn your tax forms in, and you can get up to $400 PER CHILD a month as a baby bonus, for the 18 years that your child is living at home. I just feel like there are very few excuses to stay poor in Canada.

The last time someone asked me for money (she approached me in a supermarket parking lot with a sob story about how she couldn't feed her children), I said no. I have my own child to feed. And honestly, how is it that she has children that she can't feed? We live in Canada. There are food banks everywhere.  Utilize the services available to you.

ETA: And the other day some lady at the community centre approached me to let me know that they have new clothing and toys available for Christmas if we need anything. Yes, just because I'm young that means I can't afford to buy my son gifts. The year is 12 months long, and Christmas is at the end of it. If I put away even $5 a month, I would have $60 by Christmas with which to buy my son presents. I don't get how people can not afford it. Being poor has just given me a whole new take on everything. It's hard to "really" be poor in Canada. I think we are so well-taken care of, that now I am focusing my donations towards countries where people are actually poor.

acia

CalinsBride:

Okay, I thought of one.

I judge stereotypical low income people more, now that I am one. I used to be a bleeding heart, I would give money to people on the street, etc. Now that I am broke, I know what resources are available in Canada for low-income families, and I just don't understand how anyone can stay poor with all the help that is out there.

There are programs that if you are over 25, unemployed and under educated, the government will pay for you to go to school AND pay for your living expenses while you're in school (I know because my aunt is completing this program). There is quite a bit of subsidized housing available (including programs where you are eligible as long as you have a 5 year plan to better your life). All you have to do is turn your tax forms in, and you can get up to $400 PER CHILD a month as a baby bonus, for the 18 years that your child is living at home. I just feel like there are very few excuses to stay poor in Canada.

The last time someone asked me for money (she approached me in a supermarket parking lot with a sob story about how she couldn't feed her children), I said no. I have my own child to feed. And honestly, how is it that she has children that she can't feed? We live in Canada. There are food banks everywhere.  Utilize the services available to you.

ETA: And the other day some lady at the community centre approached me to let me know that they have new clothing and toys available for Christmas if we need anything. Yes, just because I'm young that means I can't afford to buy my son gifts. The year is 12 months long, and Christmas is at the end of it. If I put away even $5 a month, I would have $60 by Christmas with which to buy my son presents. I don't get how people can not afford it. Being poor has just given me a whole new take on everything. It's hard to "really" be poor in Canada. I think we are so well-taken care of, that now I am focusing my donations towards countries where people are actually poor.

Okay, as a fellow Canadian, I need to know - how do you go about getting this?? I feel like the government must keep these programs pretty discrete, because I've never even heard of this! Can you PM me about it?

Lolita0626

Dh and I almost never have sex. He has zero sex drive and says he is too tired every time I try to initiate. I talk to him about it but he just doesn't understand how important it is to me. It honestly makes me feel horrible about myself. I miss feeling passion and feeling desired. 

Joey-Roo

I am sitting here eating peanut m&m's.  I am supposed to be doing hard core ww but I just don't want to today.

I know that was the lamest confession ever, but we all know that there is probably nothing that I would confess that would surprise you guys.

So there you go.  I'm eating peanut m&m's.

sunnyday016

Here's a lame one for ya: DD is napping and since we're having friends over tonight, I should be cleaning. But I'm here instead.

GingerBabyJ

mmmm peanut m&ms

Joey-Roo

GingerBabyJ:

mmmm peanut m&ms

I'm not sharing...unless you kiss my arse

GingerBabyJ

Joey-Roo:

GingerBabyJ:

mmmm peanut m&ms

I'm not sharing...unless you kiss my arse

Sounds like a pretty fair trade

Joey-Roo

GingerBabyJ:

Joey-Roo:

GingerBabyJ:

mmmm peanut m&ms

I'm not sharing...unless you kiss my arse

Sounds like a pretty fair trade

tarebear9891

Mamma2twins06:

I don't think we would have cheating issues if the relationship wasnt open, it just takes away the temptation.

We decided to go this route because DH was a bit of a manwhore when he was younger (though always safe) and I had only been with 2 men.  He believed that just because we were in a comitted relationship that i should stop experiencing life. He wants me to be able to have experiences that he may not be able to give me.  And quite honestly, I couldn't take advantage of that unless he had the same priviledges. 

 Its not like we go out prowling for one night stands.  Anyone that we sleep with has been "approved" by the other SO and we have pretty set partners for when it does occur.

Ok I have an honestly curious question about this (not judgemental promise). You use the same partners? Doesn't having sex with the same people outside of your marriage feel more like cheating (there is more of a possibility that a relationship could build)?

And if you don't mind me asking how does it work? Do you have set days a month or is it a by need type thing? If you don't want to answer completely fine because it is a really  nosy question

I am asking because I have friends that I am 90% sure this is the type of relationship they have but I would never feel comfortable asking them these questions.

ashdonne

vjrun21:

Dh and I almost never have sex. He has zero sex drive and says he is too tired every time I try to initiate. I talk to him about it but he just doesn't understand how important it is to me. It honestly makes me feel horrible about myself. I miss feeling passion and feeling desired. 

My DH is kind of like this too and I know it sucks.  Mine has been this way pretty much our whole relationship but of course it is worse now that we have DD.  For a long time I thought it was because there was something wrong with me and so was obsessed with my workouts etc.  But it never made any difference.  Finally I got over that and realized its just the way he is.  It stinks though and about half of the time he initiates, I really don't feel like it but I feel like I can't say no because it might be another couple weeks or a month before it will happen again.  It really stinks that my best friend's DH is all over her about it all the time and so its hard to relate in that aspect.  When I try to talk to her about it she will ask if I think maybe he is cheating and thats why he is being that way.  Then again, her DH has cheated on her a couple of times so maybe thats why she jumps to that conclusion.

FerreraRocher

I still don't want to be away from my daughter for more than 10 hours (a work day), I bed share, I'm still breastfeeding and I am not about to change any of this.

mfransdell

heatherlane:

Acia- right on girl!

Tomkat- I will always beat myself up about placental breakdown/low fluid and whether Jacob's low birth weight was b/c by 3rd Tri I pretty much gave up comepletely on my diet. Not to worry you, he is perfectly healthy and smart now, but I beat myself up a lot when people would see how tiny he was (just shy of 6lbs) and ask if he was born early and I had to saw "nope, 41 weeks".

For my confession: I had a dream about Mfran last night. Technically, it was about Debbie Gibson. She was singing to our company party, which was outside at a lake beach like in The Office a few seasons ago, but the whole faceinhole pic made me actually think of Mfran during the dream sequence. It was funny.

Wooooooaahhhhh, wait. What?

MegGary

Echowysp:

TSD:

ljlkm:

Mamma2twins06:

Then I have one for u.  DH and I have an open marriage.  We sleep with who we want, when we want.  It's not something we excercise often, but it works for us. 

 We are hopelessly in love, and recognise that sometimes we just need something different.

Whoa! Honestly no judgment here--but I can not wrap my head around how anyone can do that. I think I'm just way too insecure or something.

Happens more than you think. Not us, but I once had a collegue who had this kind of marriage. She told me this when she was drunk and I was staying at her house out of state for work. (I worked from home for a co in AZ and traveled all over the country). Her H was with another woman one of the nights I STAYED there. She totally didn't care, told me that's how they've stayed married so long, she told me she was sleeping with another collegue of ours, and that she and her H totally are in love. They've been married like 30+ years and you'd NEVER know they did the open thing.

Different strokes.

Yeah, I can barely get enough energy and sex drive up to have regular sex with the man I love, let alone another person.

lmao my thoughts exactly & still only have one.