Sleep training

mrsh1545

We had our 6 month appt yesterday, and we got into the discussion of sleep.  Our son sleeps in his pack-n-play in our room, we rock him to sleep at night and for naps and he wakes up around 5ish for a bottle/diaper change and goes back to sleep until about 8.  Our doctor said to put him in his crib, let him cry and it will work after about a week.  No more rocking him.  He also said whatever time I would be waking up if he weren't here is what he needs to get used to.  No more "night feedings".  He considers the 5am one a night feeeding.  He said his diaper doesn't need to be changed then, that he will be fine.  So, I tried to let him whine this morning when he woke up and it just turns into full-on crying.  It doesn't feel right.  I guess the problem is that I obviously cannot stand to hear him cry and be so upset and he told us picking him up just makes it worse.  I feel like 6 months is still so young.  Something needs to happen by the time #2 comes...I can't rock one while feeding another or have both sleeping in our room.  I feel like a failure for doing what I thought was the best thing for my son.  HELP!

luvdv8

Sleep training is a VERY personal decision- your doctor shouldn't be pushing you one way or another. You need to do what works for you and your LO.

If you want to transition him to a crib before LO arrives, then do so by all means. But if he's not a cold turkey kid and needs more transitioning then do it that way. You have to take cues from him- maybe instead of going from a 5 am wake up to an 8am wakeup in one night try extending it by 15 minutes every day or so. DD was a cold turkey kid (worked for bottles, pacifiers, moving to the crib, etc) but if your son needs to be eased into things then let him have it that way.

Best advice anyone ever gave me? The second your child is born you're better qualified to make decisions for them than anyone with a medical degree. You know your kid and if you put out all the outside influences you'll know exactly what you need to do.

kcisthebombdotcom

My pedi also suggested to do sleep training. We didn't listen. DS generally falls asleep in our bed with us after we read him a story and have some snuggle time, then we move him to his own bed. I have never had a desire for my child to go in his bed and fall asleep alone, even though that would make my life easier with 2 kids. Do what is best for your family and your situation.

Pediatricians are not sleep experts, so you don't need to take their advice. I never have and I'm just fine with that. DS is a happy, well adjusted, independent kid so just because he still wants snuggle time for mom before bed doesn't mean anything. Pretty soon he will not need me anymore so I enjoy every minute that we have to snuggle before bedtime. Yes, it will be more work when I have 2 kids to put to bed, but I'm fine with that. We'll survive. They're only this little for a short period of time.

EMWindy

How soon is #2 coming?   You don't have tickers but I'm guessing its several months away.  And babies sleep habits change so quickly/often for the first 1-2 years.

You need to do what you are comfortable with.   But I'm guessing that it is way premature to worry about what it is going to be like when #2 comes.   So much changes in a couple months.  

NavyPilotWife

Go with your gut and don't worry about what your doctor says.  DD part-time bedshared with us.  She was great at putting herself to sleep, but would usually wake up 3-5 hours after going to bed.  At that point, I'd bring her in bed with us and nurse her back to sleep.  I'd probably nurse her at least one more time during the night.  At 11 months old, I started making the transition to whole milk.  By 11.5 months, I stopped feeding her in the middle of the night.  She was upset for a couple of nights, but I was right next to her soothing her.  Once the night feedings were dropped, she'd sleep in her crib until 3 a.m., which was huge for us.  The first few nights of her doing this, I'd bring her into bed with us.  I'm not sure that I was ready to give up her sleeping with us.  Anyway, after a couple of days I decided it was time to try soothing her back to sleep in her room and it worked very well.  By 12 months, she's STTN and has been doing great ever since.

Try reading the "No Cry Sleep Solution."  I think the author's approach would be more similar to your parenting style than your pedi's.

mrsh1545

Thank you all for your reassurance that I am doing what I think is best for him. LO #2 will be here in July...DS will be 12.5 months old.

LadyJavy

Hmmm... having your baby wait until when you would want to wake up seems a bit harsh. We have a wake-up time set for our daughter (we let her play in her crib until that time), but it is definitely a compromise between a reasonable wake-up time for her and what I feel is an acceptable time of morning for me to wake up (we use 7am). However, if she is full on crying, I will go in and get her anytime after 6am.

I do believe in sleep-training because I feel children need to get an appropriate amount of sleep for their age, and because I feel mom and dad should be able to live a semi-normal life after a baby is past a certain age. Babies will get into bad habits if you let them get away with it and this can lead to serious sleep deprivation, bad behavior and developmental problems. This being said, it does sound like your pedi is being a bit harsh and pushing what he believes in a little too much.

If you feel it is time to sleep train your child (which it sounds like you are interested in getting on a better schedule since you asked your pedi), look into the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." We used it and my daughter sleeps 11-12 hours overnight and takes two naps of at least 1.5 hours each everyday at the same times. Everyone always commments on what a happy baby she is and how pleasant she is to be around... and she very rarely ever cries anymore! It is by far what worked best for us and our lifestyle. I have also had friends who had luck with the Ferber book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" Both require you to tough out a rough week or two, but it is defintely worth it. Good Luck!

mayowife

LadyJavy:

Hmmm... having your baby wait until when you would want to wake up seems a bit harsh. We have a wake-up time set for our daughter (we let her play in her crib until that time), but it is definitely a compromise between a reasonable wake-up time for her and what I feel is an acceptable time of morning for me to wake up (we use 7am). However, if she is full on crying, I will go in and get her anytime after 6am.

I do believe in sleep-training because I feel children need to get an appropriate amount of sleep for their age, and because I feel mom and dad should be able to live a semi-normal life after a baby is past a certain age. Babies will get into bad habits if you let them get away with it and this can lead to serious sleep deprivation, bad behavior and developmental problems. This being said, it does sound like your pedi is being a bit harsh and pushing what he believes in a little too much.

If you feel it is time to sleep train your child (which it sounds like you are interested in getting on a better schedule since you asked your pedi), look into the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." We used it and my daughter sleeps 11-12 hours overnight and takes two naps of at least 1.5 hours each everyday at the same times. Everyone always comments on what a happy baby she is and how pleasant she is to be around... and she very rarely ever cries anymore! It is by far what worked best for us and our lifestyle. I have also had friends who had luck with the Ferber book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" Both require you to tough out a rough week or two, but it is definitely worth it. Good Luck!

I agree with this. Personally we had good luck with "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. The first week was a challenge, but I'm personally very happy that we did this before introducing a new baby to our family.

12bailey18

I think you said it yourself- It doesn't feel right. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! That's my philosophy. I have alwasy rocked LO to sleep until recently. When we recently found out I was pregnant (DS was 10 months) I finally decided it was time to break the rocking habit. It was the right time for ME. I handled it so much better when I was ready than when I had tried it before out of pressure. It just had never felt right before. I say, do what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck!