What would you do?

cbaummer2be

I have a friend who has a son who is two. This kid has behaved horribly every time that he has come over to our house. Spit on my daughter, threw her down on the ground, aggressively pushes his way around other kids, screams, throws things, and won't let my son play with his own train table. The mom does nothing except feed him more sugar and laugh it off. I have had enough. I frankly don't care if I ever see them again.

I am expecting twins in January and she has expressed interest in coming to see them with her son once they are born. I do not want them coming here because who knows what he's capable of doing to my newborn twins. What would you say to hold them off on visiting? I am hoping to keep coming up with excuses so they won't ever need to come here again and at worst we could meet at a park once it's warm out. What excuses can I use? Would you be honest and explain your concern about her child's behavior? 

MamaCrystal

I should probably say to be honest and tell her your concerns... but let's face it, it's very difficult to express concerns to someone about their child's behavior.  If you have the guts to do it, then you should.  She'll either get offended and not come over anymore (which may bring you relief!), or she'll try harder to keep him under control when they're over.

You could always use the winter reason for keeping them away from everyone except family until the cold/flu season passes (leading into a park playdate in the spring!).

LepineSanto

I would be honest and maybe ask her to come without her son. I know I wouldn't want a child acting like that around my children.

Good Luck

Kimmy08

Since you are due in flu and cold season, tell her you don't want your newborns to be exposed to a lot of people. A lot of twins are born prematurely and are more susceptable to RSV, too. You would be telling the truth without being rude.

bellasmom27

Hell no!! That's so 3rd world country not giving your kids any discipline and thinking its funny (like a lot of my family members in Brasil) That's just ridiculous, I'd tell her straight up that I don't want him over b/c her kid has no discipline! It's so sad for the little boy b/c its not his fault, his parent(s) doesn't teach him right from wrong poor thing...

flutepharm87

I child like the one you're describing will not morph into a well-behaved boy without his parents taking responsibility for his actions and disciplining him. My nephew is the same way. He's 7 and still thinks it's appropriate to bite people. He's also failed kindergarten due to not sharing and violence towards other children.

If you come up with an excuse, however true, the validity of it will eventually go away and you'll have to think of something else. IMHO, the best course of action is just to tell your friend the truth. Let her know that based on her son's previous behavior towards your daughter, you don't feel comfortable having him around your newborns. You don't have to be mean or nasty about it, but as a mother, your primary job is to protect your LOs. GL!