? re: mothers

trevess

My mother is 53. She looks good for her age, but she's not in amazing physical shape or anything. She continually wears inappropriate outfits to social events. I just saw FB pics from a party she hosted last night, and she's wearing a gold halter top SANS BRA. It's not like she's Debra Messing, either- she's probably a 38C & a size 10. All the other 50-something women wore age-appropriate outfits- glitzy jackets & adorned tops that cover the cleave (& had sleeves- as it was 20 degrees & snowing last night). Do I have to leave this alone or is there a nice way to say something? It's kinda embarrassing, & I know people notice (even DH has commented before). WDYT???

Kahtie41

Sounds like your mom and my mom are best friends... or at least they share the same closet.  My mom has a small chest, but after BFing 3 out of 4 kids, the girls just aren't hanging like they used to, and she hardly EVER wears a bra in revealing clothes.  I've tried making subtlecomments before, but she's never taken the hint.  

So, I have no real advice, just wanted to let you know that someone out there shares your pain.   

katers1279

I don't think there's an "easy" way to tell her.

Could you two go shopping and you maybe show her some appropriate clothing and mention WHY something like it would look nice on her? 

Then you wouldn't directly be commenting on her current clothing, but would be showing her what would look better.

natalee215

This is really unfortunate.  I don't think there is anything you can do without being perceived as rude.  My mom is surprisingly appropriate for her age so I don't have this problem.

niuchick21

I guess it depends on your relationship with your Mother.  I would flat out tell my mother that what she's wearing isn't flattering or appropriate and then help her find stuff that was.  I think as much as it would hurt her to hear it, she would rather hear it from you then someone else.

DreamsBride411

niuchick21:

I guess it depends on your relationship with your Mother.  I would flat out tell my mother that what she's wearing isn't flattering or appropriate and then help her find stuff that was.  I think as much as it would hurt her to hear it, she would rather hear it from you then someone else.

This exactly!  My mom always looks like a million bucks, but if she didn't I'd have no problem telling her - we're very open with eachother like that.  

Why do you feel like you're afraid to say something?

AshNicole331

I've dealt with the same issues for years. In high school, my mom was the "MILF" and all of my guy friends wanted to come over just to check her out. She has fake hoo-hoo's and only wears a bra to work. She's bra-less on the weekends.

She's been better within the last year or so about covering up more, but every once in a while I just want to tell her "Seriously? You're a grandma!" I get how it can be hard to say something though. My mom & I are pretty open with each other but I still think it's hard to tell someone "Hey, cover it up. You're too old to be dressing like that". I've had to just flat out tell my mom a couple of times that her outfit is "too much".

I wouldn't say anything to her unless she wears something like that around you. I wouldn't call her up or e-mail her and tell her that her outfit was inappropriate, ya know?

mrybrwn9

Maybe you could buy her some pasties for Christmas and that will begin a conversation.  And I am not talking about the food.