NBR: Broke It Down for my Mom

Kandie35

So my mom called today and for some reason I just stopped mincing words and tiptoeing and flat out told her why my sister doesn't talk to her at all and why I couldn't talk to her for years. l also admitted that since her disease progressed to the point where she is permanently completely disabled and her husband of twelve years left her because he "didn't sign up for this", that it has allowed me to forgive her for the past. I wasn't mean, but I was very honest. She was crying and I didn't feel *that*badly about it. Am I a horrible human being?

Daisiesinmygarden

I hope things work out and get better by getting the issues out in the open.

Peppernut

Nah, it'll let your relationship improve, I think.  Did you end it on a positive note, at all? 

carladillon

I wish I was as brave as you. Me and my 4 siblings all have issues with my dad but nobody will address it cuz we are all chicken. And so, we suffer with the stress. Bravo, lady. I wish I could do the same.

ateytelb

carladillon:

I wish I was as brave as you.

This.

M.Amy

Kandie,

I totally feel for you.  I have had similar discussions with my mom over her behavior.  I think it is really good for you to get things out in the open because it helps you heal but it also gives her the chance to make things better if she wants.

 

iluvtom

I hope you can both move forward!

Pesky

There is no reason to feel guilty for choosing to live your life the way YOU want to live it, not living it to avoid making someone else upset.  Proceed forward at crank speed, lady.  Hopefully your mom will too.  I think you did her a favor by being honest with her.

kimisuejoia

Pesky:

I think you did her a favor by being honest with her.

Ditto this! 

stever

kimisuejoia:

Pesky:

I think you did her a favor by being honest with her.

Ditto this! 

Totally. 

lynnshey

Not at all - it sounded like this was a talk that was long coming.  I hope this leads to some more positive interactions with your mom in the future - for both you and your sister. 

mtnrider

lynnshey:

Not at all - it sounded like this was a talk that was long coming.  I hope this leads to some more positive interactions with your mom in the future - for both you and your sister. 

This!

vanverth

She will not die from your honesty.  And it may improve your relationship.  If nothing else, your resentments are probably less now.