Two under 1 - or close to it?

Arielle27 · December 2010

LO is only 6 weeks old, but DH and I are considering not using birth control - i.e. getting pregnant whenever it happens. If we do get pregnant in the next few months, it would mean we'd have 2 under the age of 1 - or close to it.

Have any of you done this? Any words of wisdom? Advice?

TIA!

orangedaisy85 · December 2010

I don't have any experience with it. Just wanted to add that we've considered doing close to that. J is 11 wks old. I'm not on the pill yet, FFing, still haven't had a period. And we're using the pull-out method for bc.. so I guess we'll see how effective that is. I'm sure it's difficult at first, but like everything else, you adjust.

AB&TB · December 2010

This is what we did. I FFed & got my first ppAF when DD was 8 weeks old. Had 2 periods and then got KU when DD was around 4mo. They will be almost exactly a year apart when DD#2 is born. I know there are mom's of 2u1 on this board & will be looking forward to hearing from them.

outdoorsygirl123 · December 2010

I had 3 under 13 months. Good times

Such good times, I'm due in a few weeks with #3

MyColonyNJ · December 2010

That is us. My girls are only 10 days apart b-day wise. My older daughter is a very scheduled kid, and we started from day ONE to get the new baby on the same schedule.

I also have 2 other children as well

The baby is 2.5 months old and is on the same morning and afternoon nap. the baby takes a 3rd nap later, and they go down for the night at the same time.

For ME, it is what has made me not go insane. I know schedules, etc are not the thing for everyone - but it works (well) for our family.

The biggest thing is that we dropped bottles for the older one at one year - then 10 days later her sister was born. Man, she is STILL jealous. Maybe if I was better at introducing a sippy before the new baby, maybe that would not have happened.

In our case, I was on bedrest for over a month, and getting rid of the bottles was not really a high priority.

My husband took a week off of work, but since then - I have been on my own. Again, for me, the schedule was my saving grace. I knew that at certain times every day was going to me time. And, if I decided to use that time to clean the house, go on facebook, surf the web, do laundry, or just take a nap, well that was my choice. Sometimes my house is clean, sometimes it is not. I am trying to learn not to stress about it.

I get out everyday, since I have to pick up the 4 yr old from school. But, even if I did not have to leave the house, I probably would. Just getting in the car and driving where I want to go makes me feel more normal, and more grown up.

So....... basically, all things will pass, you will figure it out, it will be great in the end.

I had a bout with PPD - think it was a lot of having 2 babies by myself.

Since you have a newborn, you know how hard a newborn is.....the newborn stage sucks. But it DOES get better. This is the same with 1 kid, 2 kids, 19 kids.

I just keep thinking about how much my girls will be best friends, how it will be great to have kids close in age, and many more great thoughts....it is that that gets me through the "bad" days.

kimthgrt · December 2010

its hard at first, very hard. Schedules are a must!!! The only BIG thing that I have yet to conquer is bedtime. Ill get one asleep and almost like clockwork, the other will yell/scream/cry/ talk loudly and wake her up, back and forth.every.night. I have no clue how to fix this as I do it on my own since Dh works a lot.

Its a lot of fun though. Little DD gazes up at big DD, big DD tries to help me with the baby..ie: shoving a booger sucker up her nose, shoving a paci on her cheek, covering her with a blanket when she cries.."petting" her.

All Ill say is, you think you didnt get sleep with one baby..with 2, its a joke. I still have yet to get more then 3hrs at a time. Right when the baby started sleeping more, big DD started getting her molars in.

FemmeNat01 · December 2010

Well, this baby isn't born yet but they're going to be 12 months 5 days apart. So, 3u2. I figure if I can handle twins, I should be able to handle twins + baby...right?

Arielle27 · December 2010

Thanks for all the info and advice! We are thinking of having three, all close in age, and it is good to hear that 2-3 isn't as difficult as 1-2... will help us get through that hard period I'm sure!

Good luck all... hopefully I will be back on this board in the next year!

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2010

We're less than a month away from 2 under 13 months, and so far it seems like this gap will work well. The pregnancy has been a dream-DS still naps a lot so I've gotten a lot of rest. He didnt get mobile until after my first trimester, so I didnt have to chase around a baby until my energy came back. Now he's to the age where he feeds himself, plays independently, and still naps well so I get a lot of rest which is really nice being at the end of my pregnancy. He seems to handle when I pay attention to other kids well, so I'm not overly concerned about jealousy issues (and quite honestly, he'll be too young to truly be jealous anyway). I'm sure there will be some challenges when DD gets here, but there would be no matter what age gap we chose. Honestly, I think handling the logistics of having 2 in diapers and handling 2 kids not walking yet is much easier than dealing with an older LO who acts out when baby comes.

I'm sure a lot of how easy/difficult surviving 2u1 will be dependent on the temperament of the kids involved, which you just can't predict. Your oldest might be easy now, but at 12 months old you'll probably have a different child. If your oldest is easy, but the new baby is challenging, that will present challenges as well. You just have to take your chances and do what is best for your family.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

hellopoppyseed · December 2010

Mine are 363 days apart. It's gotten pretty manageable really. It makes having one look like a piece of cake. I think what has helped me is not worrying about the future but just dealing with the babies as they are hour by hour and day by day. When they are so little, things change constantly so I just go with the flow. Also I keep a tight schedule for ds1 and somewhat of a schedule for ds2.