Advice on telling a friend w/recent loss

jen&jay07

Tommorrow I am getting together with all my best girlfriends and their SOs for our annual Christmas party. All along it has been my plan to announce our pregnancy at this party. Well, one of my girlfriends recently(just about a month ago) had surgery for an eptocic pregnacy and at that time I also found out she had a mc in May. When I visited her after her surgury, she seemed to be doing well and in good spirits, talking about trying again soon. Any advice or thoughts on how to tell her? I really apppreciate any thoughts.

KearnsL23

One of DH's very good friends from college has been struggling w/ infertility for 9 years now....her most recent treatment ended in a miscarriage in October.  Once we had a great result @ our NT scan on Thursday, we wanted to start announcing our pregnancy to the world.  The 1st thing we did was call her and tell her personally.  She was, of course, happy for us...she knows how hard this was for us [2 m/c, 3 IUI's and 3 IVF's].  Maybe pull your friend aside and tell her before you announce it to everyone.  Good luck

growingmybun

I would really recommend emailing her in advance to let her know.  This may be hard to understand, but while she will be happy for you, your news might bring up some sadness from her losses.  If she sees the email and has time for her private reaction, she might be able to handle your announcement better.  The losses stick with you for a long time and can really mess with your mind (and sometimes behavior).  I acted like everything was ok with my friends, but I was devastated inside.  Making a big announcement in front of her with no warning would be very insensitive.

Syncronicity09

I would tell her ahead of time to give he time to prepare if she is upset by the news. That way she is not caught of guard by your news in front of all your friends. I think it would be best to call her and tell her yourself.