vent - being forced to pump

cocojack10

and very upset about it.  While pg, I was very positive about bf.  However, since boys were in nicu, I had to pump in hospital which was fine.  Then we had to feed boys xx amount at feedings to increase their weights and ensure no issues with their sugar levels dropping.  Well I still pumped at home but not too consistently because I had the high blood pressure (wanted to eliminate any type of stress).

Also, take into consideration having twins.  It takes over an hr to feed them, plus washing bottles in between, laundry, etc., pumping was just an extra task that I dreaded doing.  

Last time I pumped was a wk ago and I only got 1 oz from each breast.  They never got very engorged.  I did leak for a bit, but don't anymore.  I'm pretty sure I no longer have any milk.  

Well, DH now wants me to pump just once a day!  He has no concept of not having anything else to pump.  I tried explaining to him of the added stress and that I rather not do it anymore.  I know it is good for the boys, which is why I wanted to do it from the beginning but it really didn't work out for us.  They did get bm for a month (not 100% but some).  Now I'm really starting to resent DH which I don't want to happen!  Please help.  Help me explain to him.

Thanks for listening. 

MrsJOSEnADRI

I completely understand how you feel and was in the same position.  DH was very supportive with the BFing and EPing, but sometimes his encouragement got a little pushy.  He read a lot on BFing so in the beginning he had a lot of constructive advice.  But, I don't think he understood how pumping worked.  I basically had to show him that the 2 ounces I have left in the fridge took 3 pumping sessions to get when I used to get about 6 in one session.  Those last couple of times he saw me pump, he kept telling me that I was still producing and should keep going.  But, again, I had to remind him that a few drops in 20 mins was nothing compared to what I used to get.  I was concerned that there would be some friction the moment I said that we were pretty much going to do all formula, but he's taken it well so far and now wants to research the best one to give her.  

I guess the best way to explain is to physically show him how much you can pump in one session and how to boost your supply you would have to exponentially increase the amount of time you spend pumping.  I thought my DH was the only one so involved in the feedings, lol.  I think he will be understanding.  It's just that they, too, want what's best for the babies and they probably think that they are just trying to be encouraging by telling us something and it just comes across all wrong.  

HTH and GL! 

Albah

What Adri said word for word. You may also want to add that pumping once a day is not going to help build much of a milk supply, especially if the last time you pumped was 1 week ago and got 1 oz. You will probably make less or none like you said and with twins, is it worth to pump if each little boy might get a max of 0.5 oz of BM per day? Hope your hubby understands how you feel soon!

Mrs.HisOnly

to put it simply....

they're YOUR boobs and BM or no BM your boys will be just fine.

but what Adri says is true. We actually had this discussion the other day, husbands don't understand.

CesEve99

just wanted to say im sorry and send a hug your way.

i tried really hard to bf evan...pumping and all. i caught mastitis and the pain was too much plus add the stress of a toddler to take care of along with a newborn. he was bf for 2 weeks and i feel like crap every day now that he has acid reflux for my giving up too soon but i just couldnt with everything i have going on.  

do what you feel is best, not was dh thinks is best.

mjz

I'm sending a hug your way, too.

I agree that you should try to show him the reality of how little you can pump. I often have to show my DH the cold and hard facts/results/whatever when it comes to things like this so he can see for his own eyes. 

southmiamiwifejen

::hugs:: I'm sorry. Mothering a newborn is hard enough without extra stress or pressure...I can't even imagine with the twins! Just explain to your husband that if he wants you to be happy and to take the best care of the boys you possibly can, the last thing you need is to feel pressured to pump when you don't want to.

I absolutely hated pumping. I have so much respect for anyone who has ever exclusively pumped, or even pumped enough to give their child a majority of the milk they need. If it were up to me, I would have had her on the boob every single feeding and never touched the pump.

cocojack10

Thanks everyone for the support!  You girls rock.

I think the night I posted, the hormones got the best of me.  I feel guilty for not attempting, as I know that it is good for the boys, especially that they were preemies.  And if I can, why don't I at least give it a try.  

Yesterday I went to OB for post partum checkup and he said I did have milk.  So, this morning, as Alex was very fussy, I started nursing to calm him down, and he ate!  I nursed him for 20 min, and then gave him a bottle.  From my guestimate, I think he nursed 1.5-2 oz.  Hopefully the supply increases as I nurse them more?  

Don't know why I didn't think of this before!  My plan is to nurse at least 2x a day (one each) and supplement w/ bottle.  No need to pump!  LOL  We'll see how things go.  2 oz of BM/day is better than none, right? 

Albah

cocojack10:

Thanks everyone for the support!  You girls rock.

I think the night I posted, the hormones got the best of me.  I feel guilty for not attempting, as I know that it is good for the boys, especially that they were preemies.  And if I can, why don't I at least give it a try.  

Yesterday I went to OB for post partum checkup and he said I did have milk.  So, this morning, as Alex was very fussy, I started nursing to calm him down, and he ate!  I nursed him for 20 min, and then gave him a bottle.  From my guestimate, I think he nursed 1.5-2 oz.  Hopefully the supply increases as I nurse them more?  

Don't know why I didn't think of this before!  My plan is to nurse at least 2x a day (one each) and supplement w/ bottle.  No need to pump!  LOL  We'll see how things go.  2 oz of BM/day is better than none, right? 

 

Yay! So glad things worked out this way for you! BFing is so much easier than pumping,,,you have the bonding time with the boys, plus they are still getting the BM!