newbie. lost and need direction

carolyn02

Hi ladies.  After some time just reading the posts on this board, I decided to post.  I think I may be experiencing PPD, but my pride is gettibg in the way of seeking help.  DD (my 1st) is 4 wks old and has been nothing but a blessing to me and DH.  I am completely in love with her and so excited to be a new mommy! That being said, I'm also completely overwhelmed.  DH is a firefighter and works 24 hour shifts.  He also has 2 other part-time jobs, so between 3 jobs, he's hardly ever home.  I know he hates being gone so much, and I really truly appreciate him working so hard, but I miss him constantly.  When he is home, he sleeps frequently as he often gets little sleep at work.  I nurse and pump, but I feel bad asking him to feed DD at night when he works the next day.  DD feeds every 2-3 hrs so I don't get much sleep at night or during the day.  I'm on mat leave from my job for another few weeks but still do work from home, and I'm enrolled in graduate school (school and work is hard by themselves!)  I find myself crying a lot and getting frustrated easily.  I've always thought of myself as having a tremendous amount of patience, but find it dwindling lately.  I'm short with DH when he is home (I hink I'm secretly jealous that he gets to sleep through the night and I can't).  We have no family here-- his are 4 hrs away and mine are 8 hrs away.  My mom and I have never been close, so I do not feel comfortable talking to her about this (she's of the big girls don't cry school of thought).  I've wanted to talk about this wirh DH on many occasions, but quite honestly, I'm embarrassed.  I don't want him o think I can't handle DD..  I'm just scared, I guess.

AngelxxRose

I am sorry you feel scared and overwhelmed with everything going on.  You definitely have a lot on your plate and it is completely understandable you feel the way you do!  I am finally nine months later "healed" of my postpartum depression and I want you to know that everything will get better with time.  Your DD is only 4 weeks old and you still aren't getting much sleep.  Do you have a friend in the area to come give you a break (even let you sleep uninterrupted for a bit during the day?).  I hope that you can talk to you husband and get the help you need.  I understand feeling embarrassed about PPD, I felt the same way.  But I am sure your DH will understand and know that you are doing your best. 

Camike

You're overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, and on top of all that your hormones are out of control. You MUST talk to DH about this and then your OB.Next, I would hire a babysitter or checkout daycares in your area so you can get sleep. My doc continually told me in the beginning that sleep was the most important thing besides taking care of your baby. If you don't know of any babysitters in the area, call the daycare and ask if any of their girls babysit. That's what we did. They all have background checks and experience with infants. Best of luck and my prayers are with you!