Inviting teacher to birthday party

lizloo85

The post below about how lots of people thought it was innapropriate to FB your kids teachers got me thinking. Is it weird or awkward to send an invite to the teacher for a b-day party for your child? 

We were only inviting a certain # of boys and girls and my dd wanted to invite her teachers. I told her that they are probably too busy and they would be board, but she insisted on inviting them.

She has a main teacher and an assistant teacher so I just put both their names on one invite and really didn't expect them to call or show. The assistant put a note on the folder saying she is sorry she could not make it b/c she works on the weekend but thanking for the invite. Haven't heard from the main teacher.

I know there are lots of teachers on here so: did I put them in an awkward spot? This is kindergarten also.  

teacherjulie

I am a teacher and have been invited to kids parties before.  I have gone to a couple of them.  It was not awkwar, I will say it is usually the parties of kids whose parents I got to know well.

Joenali

I Think it was a nice gesture to invite the teachers both on your part and your daughter. Personally, I cherish my time away from school and kids and would most likely decline. I don't think a birthday invite is strange, chatting with your child's teacher On facebook is strange!!

howleyshel

I'd vote no on this one. (not that it matters since it's already done)

Imagine yourself as the teacher.

Imagine 16+ invitations a year?

Imagine 16+ birthday gifts to buy a year?  They are insanely underpaid to start with and that would be an unpleasant financial burden.

I would imagine that accepting some invitations while declining others would be a nightmare because no matter what the reasons it's going to look like favoritism.

I personally wouldn't put my kids' teachers in that position.  My assumption is that ethically they need to decline but with an RSVP expectation they're going to have to make up some kind of small lie in order to not hurt your child's feelings.

 

neverblushed

I feel like inviting a teacher to a child's birthday party is totally different.  The point of contact is still between teacher and child.  The teacher is being invited as a courtesy and as an adult friend of the child.  You might want to contact the teacher ahead of time and let him/her know that the invite is coming.  That way, if the teacher can't or doesn't want to come, she/he will be able to handle it tactfully with your child.  I would also prepare the child for the possibility that the teacher has a busy life outside of school, and that she/he might not be able to make it to the party.

As a teacher, I don't accept or request FB "friendship" with parents or students.   I have to evaluate students; I have to grade their work; I have to discipline them.  It's much easier to do these parts of my job effectively if everyone involved is clear that I am friendly and cordial with parents and kids, but not "friends."

Also, I like to be seen as a responsible professional.  I'm sure pictures exist of me doing irresponsible things, especially from my college days.  I don't have control of all these pictures because some of them belong to other people.  A real-life friend might decide to post some "funny" pictures of our college exploits that would not seem "funny" to a parent or a student.  There's one really clear-cut way to avoid this problem: don't have any FB friends who are parents or students, and don't blur the line between professional and personal contact.

 

MrsSR

As a teacher, I think it's sweet to invite her.  Although I would never go to a student's bday party, I still think it's nice to be invited.

stephsteph77

As a teacher I think it makes for some awkward moments. I feel like it would be inappropriate for me to go, because if I went to one I would have to go to all. Even if I just got an invitation I feel like I would have to get a gift, and if all 26 kids invited me to their party that would be 26 gifts, and I just can't afford that. Plus, the look on kids faces when I tell them I can't attend their party breaks my heart. They look so disappointed! I think it's better to just tell kids that teachers aren't allowed to go (school rules or something) and avoid any awkwardness or hurt feelings.

Whoo

As a teacher, I would decline.  I do not want to blur the line between teacher and friend/aunt relationships.