Should we TTC

backpackerbunny

Hi all,

I'm new to the bump message boards and wanted to post something weighing on my mind.  

My husband and I have been talking about TTC.  I'm 34 he's 35.  We currently live in a two bedroom apartment with 2 dogs and 2 cats.  We don't know when we will be able to move because he just got laid off a few months ago and is working freelance and unfortunately we can't get a mortgage under those circumstances.    (my work situation doesn't allow me to get a mortgage, it's complicated...)

He thinks we would be fine with a baby for the first 6 months or so which would give us time for him to get a job and for us to move (although the thought of moving when pregnant or with a new born seems inconceivable to me!)

Any thoughts?  I especially want to hear from people with pets who have small places

Thanks 

boymamaco

I'm not sure I get the issue. You already have a two bedroom. Wouldn't that work for an infant? Sounds like it will be a full house but there are many people/families out there that live with a lot less than what you've described.

And... you really don't know if you will get pregnant right way. Best of luck for you on that front. But it takes an average (young) couple a year to get KU'd. Now that you are over 35 it *could* take longer.

If it were me, I wouldn't base my TTC on the size of my home.  

amandaleigh1

My neighbor in my last apartment building raised twins in a 1BR apt for 3 years while the mom was finishing up her masters program. You do what you gotta do-- I don't think they felt that cramped until they started walking. In any case, with a 2BR you are in good shape. I know plenty of people in NYC who live in sudios or 1BR apartments with their child(ren).

 

 

AlmostLoCo

I'm in a similar situation, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with our three cats. My DH has been freelancing since he was laid off 2 years ago so our income is unsteady. We don't want to move, partly because we love our apartment and the location and partly because I own a small condo that I rent out, and don't want to buy a house until I can sell the condo (when the market improves). 

We never considered letting the size of our apartment get in the way of TTC.  We are both emotionally ready to be parents, can afford it, and can manage fine in our apartment - we may just need to get a storage unit for some of the junk we store in the spare room.  If you are ready, and feel like financially you can get by on the income that is coming into the household now (unfortunately in this market you can't count on DH having a job in a few months), I wouldn't let apartment size hold you back.

Heck, my DH was raised by his aunt in a one bedroom apartment in NYC after his mom got sick.  People make do. 

mishele

I agree with the pp's.  If we all waited until the ideal circumstances happened, we'd never get pregnant!  My mom was raised in a 2 bedroom apartment and she had 7 siblings.  You make due with what you have.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

backpackerbunny

Thanks everyone, I wasn't sure if I was crazy or not because all my friends and colleagues who have kids have houses and I've been getting comments that it would be irresponsible to attempt to expand our family.  It helps if I think if we were living in NYC we would be considered to have plenty of room!  DH was raised there and I lived there for school so it's helpful to think of it that way.  

We already have a whole storage garage filled with stuff but if we had a kid I think I would end up getting rid of about half of it.  I think also we should look into better ways of storing things in our current place.

One great thing is we currently live almost right across the street from one of the best hospitals in the area!

Anyway, I feel much better having heard your experiences.  I think financially we would be fine because my income is not huge but really steady and so far things have been great with his freelance work.  We've managed to put away a month's worth of expenses.   

Thanks for your input! We've been talking about starting to TTC in the spring!  

stever

backpackerbunny:

Thanks everyone, I wasn't sure if I was crazy or not because all my friends and colleagues who have kids have houses and I've been getting comments that it would be irresponsible to attempt to expand our family. 

Crikey! Are your friends wealthy or something? Sheesh!

Anyhoo, I agree with pps that you sound like you're ready.

tumble

Really read this board for awhile and the size of your house will be the last thing you will be concerned about.  I think most of us are so over the perfection we all disired with getting school done, married and pregnant that if we could do it again it would have been a lot sooner and in a 1 bedroom if thats what it took.  There is never a perfect time and you could run into problems that a lot of us have. You will make do, GO for it! GL

jb2rn

I would go for it. I see more of an issue with your husband being unemployed (are you ok on one income?) than the size of where you live.

Babies don't need a big, fancy "nursery" like the world tells you. Just a boob and a warm place to sleep. Seriously.

 If your finances alllow a baby, I would start to TTC. Best of luck!

backpackerbunny

I think the actual word was "crazy" but I took it to mean "irresponsible".  Which one's worse??  lol I'm getting over it!  

backpackerbunny

jb2rn:

Babies don't need a big, fancy "nursery" like the world tells you. Just a boob and a warm place to sleep. Seriously.

I think this is my favorite bit of advice ever!  lol 

boymamaco

backpackerbunny:

jb2rn:

Babies don't need a big, fancy "nursery" like the world tells you. Just a boob and a warm place to sleep. Seriously.

I think this is my favorite bit of advice ever!  lol 

Haha, agree! That is classic! So well put.