H and I disagree

SarieP

H and I have a contract on a house and we are supposed to close on 12/29, during Christmas break for school.   DD is in Kindergarten this year and is SUPER close to her teachers.  I am friends with a few of her teachers on Facebook.

The other night I was on Facebook and I got a chat message from her classroom teacher.  She and I talk pretty regularly so that was not odd to me. Her main point in sending me a message was to find out if DD would be staying in her class once we move.  The house we are moving to is still in the same county, but DD's school would change.  It doesn't HAVE to because we can stay with our same babysitter which is where DD gets on/off the school bus, but we are seriously considering moving her next school year.

Anyway, the teacher apparently was pretty bummed about the possibility of DD not being in her class anymore and was really hoping that DD could stay in her class because she loves having her in there. 

H thinks this is super strange and borderline inappropriate.  I don't at all. I think it just means she has an awesome relationship with her teacher and I took it as a compliment.

What do you think?

shouldbworkin

-auntie-:

I think you're overthinking this.

Once you facebook a teacher, the whole "appropriateness" issue become moot.

The teacher probably does enjoy having your DD; she likes little kids, it's why she teaches kindie.

She may also be feeling you out around running her classroom. Maybe having an even number of kids makes her life easier, maybe your DD has buddies who will need extra attention when she moves on, maybe she'd like to plan a little going away party. Everything this age is a life lesson, maybe she just wants to be prepared.

I agree with all of this.  I think that once you're FB friends, you've entered the friend zone and it's not an inappropriate question.  I wouldn't think it was inappropriate coming from DS's teacher and we're not FB friends, though.

howleyshel

Ditto all the others.

You were at "inappropriate" when you and the teacher became face book friends.

Anything extra is just icing on the inappropriate cake at this point.

And the truth is that you have no clue what her personal motivations are here.  It could be that she adores your child.  It could also be that their class is wait listed and she's wanting to get a head count for next year.  It could be that your DD isn't a discipline issue and she fears her being replaced by a different child that is.

What exactly is DH's concern?  That the teacher has an inappropriate liking of your child?

If so I think he should start at not having a teacher being so intimately involved in your personal information more than being concerned about a comment about having her back next year.

 

littlemermaid

I'm on your husband's side on this one.  Personally I think it's unprofessional to be facebook friends with your student's parents.  I think a person's personal and business life should be kept separate.  I think too much personal information is posted on facebook and you shouldn't know that much about each other.

pdljump21

I don't think it is super strange that the teacher really likes having your daughter in class.  Our school sent out a letter when school started that teachers will not be accepting facebook friend requests from students or parents because of that boundary. 

neverblushed

As a teacher, I'm more bothered by the fact that your kid's teacher is FB "friends" with you than I am by the fact that she said she hopes your DD will still be in her class after you guys move.  That's really unprofessional of the teacher.  She may be a wonderful kindergarten teacher, but that level of personal contact with a current parent is crossing a line, in my book.

As for your real question, I agree with you and I think your H is overreacting (or perhaps he's reacting to the ick factor of the FB friendship).  If a child in one of my classes reveals that the family is planning on moving, of course I express to the parent and child that I hope the move won't take the child out of my class.  It's a courtesy.  If the child is actually leaving the school, I be sure to let the family know how much I'll miss teaching the child and that I'll do whatever is necessary to make the transition as smooth as possible. 

Joenali

As a teacher I would never ever fb friend a parent. I have some great parents in my room but would never cross the line and friend them on fb. I think both you and the teacher made a poor choice. And then the teacher fb chats with you about school stuff?? That's just weird.

Osgirl

Maybe the teacher just really likes your daughter. I can't imagine her having another motive for wanting your DD to stay in her classroom. There are those kids that are really great role models and overall really great kids, and I am/would be sad if they leave.

As far as being friends on FB-You definitely have to be careful about that. I do think it's strange that she FB chatted you about something to do with school. I think that should happen with a phone call or her school e-mail.

FWIW, I am friends on FB with two parents from last year, BUT I did not become friends with either of them until summer, and one of the boys is now homeschooled, and although the other child still goes to the same school, I'm teaching at a different school. 

globetrotting7

It's weird (and unprofessional) of these teachers to be befriending parents on facebook. To be chatting with parents on facebook is beyond me (and I'm a teacher). Whatever happened to parent-teacher conferences?