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Multiples
JesseKhloe&Me
member
Wow, Shocked..Twins
JesseKhloe&Me
member
in Multiples
New to the board. I found out today that we are having twins!! It was my first ultrasound at 19 weeks & a complete shock. I dont beleive it has sunk in yet.
Many questions. I feel like an idiot when it comes to twins. My babies are in two different sacs which I believe means fraternal twins. (Sorry, I will google in a few days after the shock wears off.) My grandmother on my dads side had twins that did not survive, which I heard today only matters if it is on my mothers side?
#1 Did most of you breastfeed only? How long?
#2 Did you need help from family, or did you learn early on to do everything on your own?
#3 What was the biggest change? Did you have to give anything up?
#4 I know that one baby is a strain on a marriage, is it even harder with two?
Thats all I can wrap my head around right now. Any advice, info or help is greatly appreciated.
P.S. DH was not at my ultrasound today, so the tech said that we can go in tomorrow to find out the sex of the babies before DH goes to work.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Wow, Shocked..Twins
Congrats!
ours have been BF for 11mo, though DD is supplemented with formula, as DS can't tolerate it.
Um......family help was useful when it was there, as long as you don't become dependent on it.....but gladly take what you can get
we had to give up my wife's sports car (she was WAYYYY less than thrilled about that one....) and its def a little more time consuming with double duty.
When it comes to your marriage....hmmm....I'm just going to say that there are times when twins trump marriage and times where marriage trumps twins.
Its important to realize that if you and spouse have a fight and arent "speaking", that doesn't exclude you from baby duty.....especially when both of them are sick, screaming, and its 3am.....and you have to be at work at 6am....dont leave spouse alone with babies just to sleep...they need sleep too!
On marriage-trumps-babies: Just remember to take some time for yourselves.....SLEEP, go out.....eat a meal that doesnt involve diapers, bottles, bibs, pacis, onesies, or talk of any of these. The couple is a detachable unit from the family, and must be taken care of too!
A lot of evenings are going to be spent cuddling with babies instead of spouse, but giving each other attention is just as important as giving babies attention, because stress in your relationship can be picked up by LOs.....learned that one the hard way
Sorry if some doesn't make sense.....been running on a Monster, 3 dinner rolls, and the heartburn from a Denny's French Toast Slam from last night.
Congrats! We found out at our first U/S at 18 weeks so we were shocked as well.
I was able to BF until 13 months ( started cutting back sessions when we introduced cow's milk)
My mom was here to help for about a week and a half- I aslo had my MIL or my sisters that offered help whenever it was needed (mostly after work on bad days) I asked for help. Other than that I managed on my own after my mom went back home.
As far as the other questions, I haven't really thought about them. I didn't find I had to give up anything, as far as marriage is concern it's a lot of adjustment at the beginning, but these were our first babies so in a way it would good to not have to compare to one baby.
GL!
Congratulations!!
#1 Did most of you breastfeed only? How long? I BFed exclusively until they went to day care, when I started supplementing their day care bottles. I'd pump what I could, then make the rest of the bottle with formula.
I did this based on my experience with DD1, in which I felt a lot of pressure to replace what she was eating during my pumping sessions. I knew that if I did the same thing again, it wasn't going to end well.
#2 Did you need help from family, or did you learn early on to do everything on your own? I didn't NEED help, but I welcomed it. With both DD1 and the twins, DH and I took the first week for ourselves only. After that, my mom came in followed by his mom. It was nice to have someone around when DH went back to work, since I couldn't do much in the way of housework.
#3 What was the biggest change? Did you have to give anything up? This is such a hard question to answer. The biggest change, I think, is that my time is no longer MY time. I have to work really hard to fit time in for myself. Plans also take about three times longer to execute (if you have a remodel project going on at home, expect it to take a lot longer than it would otherwise).
But, I haven't had to give anything up. I've had to put things on hold temporarily, but not actually given them up. Is there something specific you're referring to that you're concerned about?
I suppose, though, that a sports car might have to be given up.
#4 I know that one baby is a strain on a marriage, is it even harder with two? I think this is also a tough one to answer, since it's so subjective. We had a harder time with DD1 because we had to readjust everything: our expectations of ourselves and each other, our roles and responsibilites, and our time for each other. With the twins, we were already in our groove for the most part. Plus, we can look at DD1 on our hardest days and realize that this (the baby stage) is temporary.
My short answer, I guess, is that I think it's the first baby/babies that are the hardest on a marriage. This is from a woman, though, who has had generally easy babies. I would bet that if the twins were colicy, fussy, or high maintenance that I would be singing a different tune.
Take a deep breath, and let it sink in. All of your feelings are normal. When I found out it was twins, at 8w, I burst into very unhappy tears. I wouldn't change it now, but a year ago at this time I was upset.
Twins in separate sacs doesn't always mean fraternal. 1 in 9, I think, of di/di twins are actually identical. The only way to find out in utero is if they're different genders. If they're the same, you'll have to wait until they're born. You are correct, though, that it's the genes from your side of the family that count.
I see you popped over here already! I was wondering how soon we'd see you after your post last night! I put some answers to your questions above, so you can get an idea of my experiences. Can't wait to hear about your u/s today. You'll get your ID/Frat answer if you get boy/girl, but if they're the same sex, you may just have to have them tested after they're born (or ask Pea-kay--she's the resident decider of ID/Frat on the board). Congrats again!
1. i breastfed for almost 14 months. they self-weaned or we would still be doing it. i only supplemented w/ formula before bed because it made them STTN.
2. did i need help? i guess not. i think if i had to do it on my own that i could have. but did i appreciate help? absolutely! and i still do...my family visits frequently. but its not because i cant do it on my own, its because i like breaks. when my family comes, i check out.
3. These were my first kids so becoming a mother was the biggest change. I have gave up all the stuff a first-time mother would give up, but not more just cuz i had twins.
4. it was not straining on my marriage at all.
congrats! get ready for some fun!
I tried breastfeeding, but I had hormonal issues and never got a real good milk supply. It really was time consuming to nurse, bottle feed and then pump every couple of hours so I eventually went to just FF. It can be done though!
I had help from mom and dad for two weeks. Then I was pretty much on my own. Husband came home in the evenings but was no help. Now I live with my parents and have help in the evenings but I pretty much do it myself all day. Its not as hard as people think, especially at this age.
These were my first kids and I am getting a divorce so I am not the right person to talk about change haha.
Again, my husband was difficult to live with most times before the babies were here (as a lot of ladies on here can tell you from my ranting in the past), but I know plenty of couples who do just fine.
Two sacs doesn't mean fraternal necessarily, but mine were in separate sacs and are as different as can be! Good luck and feel free to ask any question on here!
Good to see you over here!
#1 Did most of you breastfeed only? How long? I only BFed a month, but I have multiple sclerosis and needed to get back on my meds for that.
#2 Did you need help from family, or did you learn early on to do everything on your own? We have no family within 600 miles. I did have two different friends who each came over for an hour or two once a week the first three months to help out. Also, people from our other church and other friends brought us a lot of meals during the first two months, and another couple from our church came over and cleaned our entire house when the boys were about a month old. All those were very helpful! I'd say some help is great if you can get it; if it's really not an option (no family, just moved to a new area) then most likely you can manage.
#3 What was the biggest change? Did you have to give anything up?
Well, they were our first kids so it was a total life change.
We gave up free time, sleep, etc. 
#4 I know that one baby is a strain on a marriage, is it even harder with two?
Yes. Though since you already have a kid ... it'll be a big adjustment but probably not as big as if the twins were your first kids.
Good luck with everything!Congratulations!!
#1 Did most of you breastfeed only? How long? I attempted to for about 4 weeks. They are now FF.
#2 Did you need help from family, or did you learn early on to do everything on your own? I didn't NEED help, but I welcomed it. My mom took the first week off after DH went back to work, she was only at my house from 11am-5pm. MIL took the following week off, ditto the 11-5. Nowadays people still offer to help, but I prefer doing it on my own. I have my own routine, know my babies' cries, am not big on the 'pick them up as soon as they make a peep!!' thing (MIL drives me nuts with this - there's 2 babies, it is physically impossible to do so I don't encourage it).
#3 What was the biggest change? Did you have to give anything up? Same as PP, I have absolutely ZERO time to myself, unless it's at 9pm when the babies go to bed.
#4 I know that one baby is a strain on a marriage, is it even harder with two? In the beginning it was very hard. I wouldn't say our marriage was strained, but everything we were used to doing just the 2 of us for the past 7 years is now completely different. The same can be said if you only had one baby too I guess (the twins were our first/second kids). Especially with the sleep deprivation, obviously we were not at our best and brightest and were often short-tempered (who wouldn't be?) It's since gotten much much better.
Good luck! H&H pregnancy to you!!