If you have twins babies and an older toddler

Sarah&Christoph

Do you get the comment "You're done having kids right" Whenever DH and I are out it seems like every time we get someone coming up to us asking us if we are stopping or are done having kids. I think it's so crazy that complete strangers think they should decide for us if we want to have more children or not. Just curious if we are alone or if anyone else gets these comments. I think out of all the comments including "wow you have your hands full" the one about being done having kids gets me the most.

alsbablon

My wife has a 16yo daughter and we had a 4yo adopted daughter (bs legal loophole, biomother, after her 15yr sentence being thrown out, part of that for child neglect, won custody), and then the twins.

I used to say that we have 4 kids.....I got crap like that a lot.

Now we only have the 3, and I have only 2 "kids" because SD isn't a "kid" anymore.....so, now, with 2 "kids" everyone has changed to "oh, are they getting a little brother "and"/or *<<ack* sister any time soon?"

Go judge someone who doesn't take care of their kids!

ahava2005

I have a 3 year old and 1 year old twins.

I get that a lot.  'you have your hands full', 'wow you must be busy', etc.

 I do occasionally get the 'at least you're done' comment, but it makes me laugh because, hell YEAH I'm done.  LOL!  My response is usually:  Damn straight. 

#6

Yeah I got that a TON when they were babies and still get it a few time now.  

L was only 1yr & 11 days old when the girls were born so I had 3 under 13months.  It was quite a site Im sure and people are just curious and intrigued by twins but sheesh..some of the comments are just rude and stupid.  " Wow, you have your hands full"  Um, I know that plus you are not the first person to tell me that.  

"Oh, how sweet, big brother and 2 baby sisters!  I guess that makes your family complete" (from a stranger  It started out nice but then not so much.)  I said "oh no we will be ttc once the girls are 1.  Im really hoping for twins again"    

I have also gotten blunt rude comments before  "Have enough kids"  in a very snarky tone. My reply "Since when is 3 too many or odd?  You should see the other 6 at home.  I only brought the 3 that are still BFing."   This was from a sales woman at a furniture store.  I complained to the store manager and scored 50% off one item.  I told him it was hard enough getting out with 3 so young and close in age let alone have to deal with rude comments from strangers.  It was said in front of several other sales people and customers so it made me look like a freak show.  I dont get embarrassed or made to feel uncomfortable easily but I felt very judged, and like I was a big joke.  L was only 2 and the girls were 1 so I had them in the triplet stroller.  Im pretty sure the comment was based off how young I am and how many kids I have.  I was 23 with 3 under 2 at the time.  

I still get tons of questions but the top 2 that I get are "wow you have your hands full" and "aww are they triplets"  tied with "aww are they twins"    

I have also gotten better at avoiding strangers by talking with the kids and pretending not to hear them.  That or I use "ok, we have to hurry kids or we will be late" as I walk away quickly.  That is a big help to get out of the 20000 questions and comments.

Temp159135562506975

i never get that one b/c i have all boys - people always say "are you gonna try for a girl?"- which we are not... we ARE done - but people always assume we want a girl so badly that we'll keep going.

There isn't any comment that upsets me - i don't care... what anyone else says about my kids/family doesn't matter to me.... I just laugh at how stupid people are with the dumb things they say.

 

Temp159135562506975

forgot to add -the "oh, you're done!" comment is very common with MoMs of b/g twins alone... people assume that once you have one of each gender you're done... that's even more stupid to me.

kaiteedidit

I actually get the opposite reaction. Whenever I tell people that we are done they always say to me "Oh, are you sure? You may change your mind." Pretty sure I won't change my mind and even if I did want more kids, I'm terrified of having another set of twins. 

Purple_Butterflies

I don't have an older toddler but I do have an 18 yr old son. So, when ppl see me with the twins they always ask me if I'm done since they are b/g and "oh you have your hands full" and "double trouble". then they ask if I have other kids and the the next response I get is "are you CRAZY & wow, your starting all over again". If I didn't have twins this past go round I would have tried again for a 3rd as I always wanted 3 kids:) And, I don't mind the big gap in age and the 18 yr old is very helpful, I also have 3 stepkids age 14,12 & 10 and they are also very helpful.

Rangergal9

We dont really get the "you're done having kids" comment but the "oh my you have your hands full!" comment all the time.  We are done having kids though.. I cannot imagine having my older child and twin toddlers along with another baby to take care of!!

cbaummer2be

Someone actually asked me if I was going to get sterilized after the twins are born because I already have 2 toddlers at home. None of your freaking business what I am going to do with my reproductive organs.

It baffles me what people feel they can say to a pregnant lady and/or a mother. 

BizEB

I don't get it.  I get alot of "wow, you have your hands full", "God bless" and once DH and I got, "you guys need to find another hobby"   I just laugh- I appreciate that people don't know what to say when they see someone with so many young kids and I think it's cute they make an effort to connect with us.

We are SO done so it wouldn't upset me if someone said that anyway.  

farmwife

My babies aren't here yet, but I think that comment is the one that bothers me the least.  Maybe because we ARE done, haha!  We only wanted 3 kids, so when we found out it was twins, one of the first things we said to each other was "we are SO done after these!"

Desired11

We are also so Done...so, that question doesn't bother me from strangers.  However, it's when my MIL made the comment about the twins being a problem that made me upset.  She told my husband, "I told you to double bag it."  Who does that?...especially a grandmother?!  Anyways, I only wanted 3 children from the time I was a little girl...but the Lord blessed us with four angels.  I'm glad that he made us a big family!

Sarah&Christoph

I guess the reason this comment gets to me so much is because we aren't done we still want one more. Even before we got pregnant with the twins we have always wanted 4 children. It just bugs me that strangers think it's crazy to have 4 children.

volgirl123

When people find out I have 3 under 2 they don't really know what to say except the silly hands full comment. My old boss asked if we were done and I said we don't know. We're not really thinking about it. She said "well you better!"

scorch

kaiteedidit:

I actually get the opposite reaction. Whenever I tell people that we are done they always say to me "Oh, are you sure? You may change your mind." Pretty sure I won't change my mind and even if I did want more kids, I'm terrified of having another set of twins. 

 

 this. We had to do IVF to get the child that we have and the twins that are on thier way.  We would have to do some sort of infertility treatment to get pg again and I am terrified of having another twin pregnancy.  I am quite quick to tell folks we are done.  Not that its anyones business ...

 

Also, a side note-  I have been getting the stupid comments that people make ( your going to be busy, have your hands full ect...) since we announced that we were having twins .  Today I got a rather encouraging kind comment that made me feel totally uplifted instead of bogged down.  This gentleman that I used to work with said that ' God would supply the grace'.  He is totally right.  Thank you Steve...

mamam

Goldie_Locks_5:

forgot to add -the "oh, you're done!" comment is very common with MoMs of b/g twins alone... people assume that once you have one of each gender you're done... that's even more stupid to me.

VERY true!!  They always say "perfect, so you're done?" 

AMYRENEE27

I am only 18 weeks pregnant and am constantly getting that comment. I started saying "and I am not sure if we are done yet" before people even have the chance to ask!!