Depressed

NCLatina

Hey Ladies:

I've been very depressed since the miscarriage and while I want to TTC; I can barely bring myself to have sex with DH.  My emotions are all over the place and sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand and he doesn't feel the pain as much as I do. 

DH has kids from a previous marriage and sometimes I feel like the loss of ours didn't mean as much to him; even though he says this isn't true.  The depression is making me miserable and it all stems from the loss of our child.  I just can't get over it and don't think I ever will.  He knows I am very unhappy and I think it upsets him to see me so unhappy. 

He doesn't want me to dwell on it but it just happened in Oct.  How am I not suppose to dwell on it when both his brothers have toddlers.

I just feel so useless and being unemployed doesn't help.  We just moved here in Sept. and I haven't found anything yet.  I had two promising leads last week that fell through when I got sick and had to go to the Dr.  It just seems like everything isn't working well since we moved here.

I think I will try to schedule an appt. to see a counselor.  I just don't feel up to doing anything lately (i hate housework) and DH is getting aggravated with me laying around the house moping. 

 

dana1318a

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's normal to be sad, but I think it's a good idea to talk with a counselor.  I don't think any of us will ever "get over" it, but I think it will get easier in time.  ((hugs))

kelseymw

I could have written your post myself a month ago. My loss was September 23, and we had just moved to this town mid-August. I was (and still am) unemployed and sitting at home alone during the day was the worst. Finally, one day I woke up and promised myself to make it better. I realized that by not being sad anymore, I wasn't missing my baby any less, I was just coping and moving forward with life. I delved in to projects around the house more and developed a routine for myself. I try to make a new recipe every other day, have a housework schedule, get out of the house once a day (even if it's just a long walk with the dog). All of this has made me feel infinitely better and I finally feel like I have my life back... and am actually loving being a housewife now. It's hard not to feel guilty for bringing happiness back in to your life, and it takes time... but you have to make yourself and your well-being a priority. It doesn't make you any less of an Angel Mom.

Best of luck!