SAHM or Working Mom...what did you do?

amymoidl

DH and I are currently trying to decide if we should start trying to conceive (we had a MC about 1 1/2 mo ago) again. 

If we begin trying now, it would make most sense for me to be a SAHM for atleast the first year (I am a teacher but I do not currently have a permanent position because we just relocated here for DH's job).  If we wait, it would only be so that I could try to find a teaching position for next school year and get settled there before having to take maternity leave. 

So, I was curious...how many of you became Stay At Home Moms after your first baby?

[Poll]

Singingmama

Just FYI, I'm a teacher and I know that if it had been my first year in my district that my job would not have been covered by FMLA. Meaning, I probably would have lost my job or had to return within two weeks of having my baby because my job wouldn't be protected by FMLA. Since I've been working for my school district for more than 12 months, my job was protected during my 8 week maternity leave.

Does that make sense?

Ok, here's a different way to put the issue. If it had been my first year teaching in my district then the district would not have had to legally hold my position for me during my maternity leave.

amymoidl

Yes, that definitely makes sense!  I am aware that if we wait, we could have to wait a full year (most likely) before I could get maternity leave...that is why this is such a tough predicament! 

berrysweet

I became a SAHM because my job wasn't covered by FMLA, and they decided not to offer maternity leave. I couldn't have put DD in daycare even if I wanted to when she was a week old, so I became a SAHM. It was really scary financially, but we've been able to make it work so far...

Jen&Louie

I stayed home for 7 months then returned to work part-time (21 hours a week).  I was lucky that my company worked with me to create a p/t position. It's the best of both worlds - 4 days home with DS but, still have some income so we can continue adding to savings for a larger home.

BethD76

I was supposed to SAH right now. But I'm pregnant again so we have to pay a few more things off before I quit. I will be at home with the two kids.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Singingmama

amymoidl:

Yes, that definitely makes sense!  I am aware that if we wait, we could have to wait a full year (most likely) before I could get maternity leave...that is why this is such a tough predicament! 

If we could have handled it financially, I definitely would have been a SAHM this first year. I had an incredibly hard time returning to school after my daughter was born, a much harder time than I ever could've imagined. It's easier now, but it's taken a long time for me to get to a place where I am happy again with my job.

Could you maybe find a job and then TTC in August/September? You'd be pregnant your whole first year at the new school, but the baby would be born at the end of the year and then you'd have summer break at home with the baby.

amymoidl

That is also an option!

anukindaluv

I returned to work after my first pregnancy.. but I will be a SAHM once G gets here. 

chef'swife

My family owns a seasonal retail business. I run the office and one of our 20 locations, so Aven goes to work with me during our busy times and I work from home during our slower months.

sunflowergrl

I was a teacher before I had DD.  I SAH for 10 months, and now I sub 2 days a week at my school (depending on availability).  I also started being a nanny- for one fantastic little boy at around 7 months. 

erin922

I'm a part-time worker and part time SAH.  It's the best of both worlds.  We've cut back dramatically on spending and live off DH's salary and whatever I bring in is mostly savings. 

curlychic

With what I was making and how expensive it is to get daycare here (the infant programs here are charging $16K+ a year), and commuting, it made way more sense for me to stay home. We have had to make a few changes, but I think that it was one of the best decisions we ever made.

Mereou12

I went back to work for two weeks and then decided to resign to SAH. I miss working and don't see myself staying at home permanently, but I feel SO blessed to have been given the opportunity. When we move early next year, I'm planning to start back to work.

AggieGrl

I became a SAHM because my high stress job was not worth the take home pay after childcare and taxes.  Quite frankly, I don't think I could have been successful at my job after DS was born anyways.  

My DH has a good, stable, contract job and we had $10K in emergency savings before DS was born, so it was financially feasible for us.  

only1erin

i'm a teacher at a year round school so i'm currently on a 6 week vacation break w/ds.

if i was you and you could afford to SAH w/just your DH working then i'd probably TTC b/c teaching isn't very secure right now (especially for a first year teacher...if you found a job).

kristalovesjared

I returned when she was 2 months old until she was 8 months old, then I became a SAHM and LOVE it!

SWmama

I am the special-ist of all the speshul snowflakes.

I returned to work when DD was 8 weeks old. I quit when she was 16 weeks old (long story, crappy work environment).

I was a SAHM from months 4-10. Hated it (love my kid though) and started looking for a job.

I've been back at work now for a month and a half. Much better company, much better environment.

They both have their positives and their challenges. For me, there were more positives in working outside the home.

arte79

I went back to work because I hated being home. LOL.

tmp-527934375008843

I work from home but my husband became a SAHD when LO was born.  We find it very rewarding, but you have to make sure to get out of the house and go and do stuff, otherwise being home all day can drive them batty!

dragonsmercy

As a Canadian, we get 1 year paid maternity leave (if we qualify)... I found out I was pregnant when Evelyn was about 6 months old. I went back early (Evelyn was 9 1/2 months old). Now I'm laid off again because I have a high-risk pregnancy... and I DON'T have enough hours to qualify for mat leave this time, so I'll have to go back to work pretty quickly! I like being able to have the option to stay at home, but I did enjoy the social aspect of being able to work. A part-time job would suit me perfectly.

mrsjami

I was home 5 1/2 months and it was really hard. I don't really have many local friends b/c we recently moved here.  I think if I had a few ladies to do stuff with throughout the week it would be a little easier, but overall I just need to work. I need to be around people and divert my attention for a few hours each day. Never thought work would be a 'break', but it definitely is for me. I like the balance of working during the week and then having the nights and weekends. By Monday I am ready to go back.  I actually have off for 2 1/2 weeks in Dec for the holidays and I'm a bit nervous to have so much time at home!

amymoidl

Thank you all so much for the responses!  It definitely seems like this is something you don't know if you'd prefer until you try it...I really don't want to wait to TTC, so maybe after being at home for the few months I can look for a job during the following school year if it seems like I might enjoy working and "getting away!' 

Bronxgirl73

erin922:

I'm a part-time worker and part time SAH.  It's the best of both worlds.  We've cut back dramatically on spending and live off DH's salary and whatever I bring in is mostly savings. 

me, too.

MSUMamaof2

I went back to work when DS1 was 12 weeks old.  I worked for 2 months and then DH got a job 3 hours north of where we were living/working at the time and I left my job to be a SAHM.  It wasn't exactly my preferred choice at the time and it sure was an adjustment, but I haven't desired to look for work again since.  We make it work.  Most days I enjoy it.  The days that I don't, I think how stressful it would be to be back working as a probation officer--and paying upwards of $400 a week in daycare for 2 kids that would allow me to bring home maybe $500 a month.  Yeah.  Not for me, thanks.  I'll cut back $500 a month in spending for my trouble.