Would you use a sleep training method you didn't make you feel 100% comfortable? (long)
katpres06
member
I'm talking about Ferber, etc.
I need to do something, I feel like I'm losing my sh!t. DS used to be able to sleep, in his crib, from about 9p-5a. Then about a month ago he started waking up once or twice, fussing and then going back to bed (this coincided with a cough he has). About a week ago he started waking up almost every hour. He'd cry, we'd put the pacifier back in his mouth, he'd sleep, repeat. Starting two days ago he would scream so hard that he's hoarse. I tried to soothe him w/o picking him up, but nothing. Finally, Sunday night, I just picked him up, sat in our recliner and went to sleep with him on my chest. So you can imagine how last night went... sleeping with him on the recliner.
I know, at least I think I know, that he's clean, dry, fed, nothing hurts. He's got some teeth coming in, but he's fine (and so happy) during the day.
I just don't know how comfortable I am with letting him CIO. But maybe it's the best method for him? I don't know. I don't want him to think I don't love him. What if he is in pain?
I'm just at a loss. But I know it can't keep up this way. How did you find the best method for your LO? And of course, I've forgotten everyone's tips, suggestions, advice for sleeping. I just feel like it's gotten out of control. I'm probably being dramatic, but I'm desperate.
Thanks for listening, I've you got this far.
Re: Would you use a sleep training method you didn't make you feel 100% comfortable? (long)
I see he's only 5.5 months. I wouldn't Ferber before 6 months. We didn't Ferberize Logan until 8 months. If he's teething his mouth may hurt at night. Have you tried giving him Tylenol and seeing if that helps him sleep better?
To answer your question, no, I would not use a sleep training method I wasn't comfortable with. But no, I didn't worry that Logan would think we didn't love him when we were sleep training him.
Good luck! I dealt with sleepless nights for well over 8 months and it's TOUGH. Hang in there mama.
I thought about the tylenol. I didn't want to medicate him, just to medicate him. But I did wonder if maybe it bothered him more at night.
I did think it might be too early to do any kind of sleep training. And I know I'm not the only person to deal with sleepless nights, but holy cow!
Thanks
I totally feel your pain. "Losing my ***" is exactly how I felt about DD's sleep when she was your LO's age.
Our biggest problem was that she wouldn't go to bed - it would take us 1-2 hours to get her to finally fall asleep, rocking her to sleep, and then trying to put her in the crib without waking her up. It was incredibly stressful for me to deal with - I was adjusting to being a working mom and had developed PPD because I literally had no time to unwind at night.
It was my MW that told me to let her CIO (she was just shy of 6 months). We tried the Ferber method, but she just got madder every time we went in so if we heard her quieting down, we'd let her be. It only took about 5 days to get her to go to sleep on her own. The first night she cried the longest, and it got shorter day by day. It totally sucked, but it's been worth it.
We didn't sleep train for night wakings until 11 months because she was reverse cycling and not drinking much milk at daycare, so I got up and nursed her 1-2 times a night still. I could deal with that because she usually nursed then went back to sleep fine - no prolonged crying. To sleep train her when I decided she was cut off at night, DH had to go in and comfort her because she would want milk if I went in there.
That is what worked for us.
You could check out the "No Cry Sleep Solution." I don't know much about it, but . I don't recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" since that, to me, seemed to advocate a strict CIO policy.
I know what it's like to totally lose your mind when your baby starts waking every hour, ESPECIALLY after they used to sttn. Tyler started STTN at 4 weeks old, and at 4 months he started waking up once a night. OK, I could deal with once. But 2 weeks later, it became more and more frequent till it was literally every hour.
I discussed it with the pedi, because I couldn't go through the day sleepless with that rambunctious Justin at home. Ferber ordinarily isn't recommended before 6 months usually, but our pediatrician told me that she believes that between 4-6 months is the best time to do sleep training. It just gets harder the older they are. We started at 5.5 months with Tyler.
You should read about the Ferber method, it isn't straight CIO. There is a lot of soothing and checking that goes on while you are doing the training. It works for some kids and not for others. Fortunately for us, it worked
(and after only 2 nights.) You could also call your pediatrician and see what they say.
I do agree, try giving tylenol or motrin if you think he's teething. Just like adults, the pain seems to get to them more at night for some reason. It might help (but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't).
FWIW, I promise he will still love you and will never remember or blame you for sleep training. A good night's sleep is the best gift you can give him
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
((hugs)) not getting sleep is probably the worst thing ever....seriously, the worst :-( I know that different things work for different kids but I personally wouldnt do something that didnt sit well with me (meaning its one thing if the method is hard vs. it makes you feel horrible, question if its the right thing, etc.)
I would definitely try giving some tylenol, I felt the same way about not wanting to medicate Nicky but then I had a tooth that needed a root canal and I remembered how absolutely HORRIBLE mouth pain is and I caved and realized even if it was bothering him only a little it was worth it to help him out...plus I feel like you will be able to tell if it helps if 30 mins after giving it to him he seems less upset
We do CIO...Nick has been a pretty good sleeper but the last 2 months he just fights sleep...will just cry regardless of how tired he is, when his last nap was, etc. One day I kept him in bed w/ me to see if he slept better and he still cried but since I was in bed with him I saw that he was basically asleep (eyes closed) just crying until finally he just stopped and gave into the sleep. Knowing he did that makes it easier for me to let him CIO. Also I set a stopwatch (Dh thinks I am ridiculous). If he has cried for 15 mins, non-stop I will go in and make sure he doesnt need burped, etc. I am only in for a min, then I put him back and let him cry again for another 15 mins. Thankfully for us its never been more than like 1 hour of that but with using the stopwatch I realize when I am listening to him cry it seems like SO LONG when in reality its not that long.
GL with whatever you decide--and I know it doesnt help much but I've come to realize that kids just go through stages where they dont want to sleep...its frustrating as h*ll to parents but I know as an adult I have stages where I have a hard time falling asleep too.
Ha! That's kind of what I'm afraid will happen. He'll be sleeping on my chest until he's 5 years old....
My other question, about the teething and tylenol....wouldn't the teeth still bother him and he would cry, even if I did pick him up? That's what got me thinking it wasn't the teething issue, because I could calm him down and get him to sleep, even if it was only when I held him. Does that make sense?
I definitely agree with medicating for teeth. We did this for DD and it helped during the day, but at night it was a lost cause.
I wouldn't sleep train though if you were not 100% comfortable with it. Have you read a method called the Sleep Lady Shuffle? If you google it, it is a great method that is between NCSS and CIO. We did this with DD and it did help some, she just wasn't ready to STTN (or really at all), but it did help her learn to go down on her own. It might be a good option and then hold out until at least 6 mo. for Ferber (which is also a great method, I had 3 great weeks of sleep thanks to Ferber before these dang molars started).
Trust me when I say I totally understand feeling like you are losing your ****. I also slept in our recliner from the time DD was born b/c that is the only thing that worked to get a little sleep, and still am sleeping there since she's back up all the time. GL!
ETA: Your tylenol and teeth question, I think it helps dull the pain, but it's not totally gone, so they are still looking for comfort. DD also just needs held to sleep, it was just who she is. She still gets held for her naps most days even though Ferber worked at night.
I completely agree with all of this. And we also didn't do Ferber until 8 months (but I assure you I will not wait that long again. I will Ferberize DS as soon as he hits 6 months if need be). And no, not for a minute did I think DD felt we didn't love her or any of that while Ferbering (which took all of three days).
But Ferber doesn't go against what I believe as a parent so I was comfortable with it. I would not do a sleep training method (or any other parenting method) that goes against my philosophy about kids and parenting.
Moesten, we are on the same wavelength here. If I am blessed enough to have another child, I will not wait until 8 months like I did with Logan if I get another crappy sleeper.
Right around 6 months we had some sleep issues too. I highly suggest trying tylenol or at least ora-gel to see if that helps. Another thing we did which seems to help a lot, was to put a bunch of pacifiers (I think there are about 10) in his crib. When he wakes up, he is able to find one quickly and get it back into his mouth before he wakes all the way up and starts screaming. If he doesn't find one fast enough, he wakes up and gets mad, then needs calming.
I never felt ready to do a sleep training method, and so I haven't - but luckily, Fin usually doesn't go more than a week with his night wakings and then starts sleeping better again.
Good luck!
ETA: I never answered your question. I personally would not do a method that did not make me feel 100% comfortable. There are lots of different ones out there, so I would find one that worked for me. My SIL highly recommended the book Baby Wise when we were having sleep issues.
Welcome to the world Finley Michael - born 2/13/2010
Baby Sister is coming soon!
I agree with this. I also agree that it's a little early for your little guy. But I, personally, don't worry too much about forming habits that early. Ellie did not sleep for the first 14 months of her life, but now she sleeps fine most nights (knock on wood).
Photo by Melissa Nicole Photography
There are tons of sleep methods out there (believe me, I've tried them all) that you can try and modify as you see fit. The fact that he did sleep at one time is very promising unlike DS who has never slept well. If you give some kind of training a thought I think you will have a lot more success than I did.
Try 3 years of sleep deprivation and get back with me. My kid just does not need very much sleep and still wakes up every night. It explains why I'm such a total beyotch 99% of the time. At least that's what I tell myself.