Well, my feelings are a little bit hurt

picklesx

While randomly Facebook stalking some people, I found out that not one, not two, but at least three of DH's coworker's wives are pregnant. And not hey, we just found out. They're all a good 5 or 6 months along. So I brought it up to DH. Our conversation went like this:

"Coworker A's wife is pregnant?"

"What? I don't know, is she?"

"Apparently. And so is coworker B's?"

(no answer)

"And so is coworker C's. Um..did you know about this and just not tell me?"

And this is where he got pissy and huffy and puffy and snapped at me with "YES, Jesus, can't you just mind your own business?"

I don't know if I'm more upset by his reaction to me asking or by the fact that he knew this and normally, if we weren't trying, he would have told me. But he didn't. I mean, these are people he talks to on a regular basis and they announced it on FB a while ago so he had to have known for quite some time. Two of the couples were at our wedding and we attended theirs. One couple got married a month before us, another couple this past summer. It's not like they're just random people he sits on a shift with.

Tell me, because I know you ladies have no problem speaking the truth - are my feelings unjustified?

Mrs.Jay-Mac

I think your hurt feelings are justified because you feel like he purposely didn't tell you.  But maybe he was trying to keep your feelings from being hurt by not telling you.

tnas1

It sounds like he might be a little stressed about it. Like PP said, he prob didn't tell you so you wouldn't get upset... IDK, maybe he didn't want to make a big deal about it either. I would be sad about the way he responded though. Sorry hun!

AJ3122

My feelings would be hurt too. He should have told you by now, you would find out soon anyway. But I'm sure he didn't meant to handle it that way, men just don't know what to say sometimes so they say nothing and then they get mad because they can't communicate the way we want them to. I have first hand experience with this!

I would bring it up tomorrow in a calm way and just be honest with him about it.

christyjane17

My feelings would be hurt too, but it really is probably just DHs way of showing that he is frustrated.  I am sure he doesn't mean to be rude or hurtful. 

By the way, your boston is ADORABLE!  We have a boston mix and my DHs family has a boston that looks a lot like yours.  Very cute!!

FyreFry5

It sounds like he may be getting a little frustrated, too.  And also was maybe trying to spare you from the frustration he thought you would feel. 

Still, he shouldn't have taken it out on you by being rude when you asked about it.  Has he apologized, or have you talked about it?  Sorry he is being difficult - I had a silent war with my husband the other day and it ruined the whole weekend   I hope you make-up soon.

Sort of off-topic, and maybe you've shared this before but I have a hard time keeping track - any news on this long cycle of yours? 

picklesx

FyreFry5:

It sounds like he may be getting a little frustrated, too.  And also was maybe trying to spare you from the frustration he thought you would feel. 

Still, he shouldn't have taken it out on you by being rude when you asked about it.  Has he apologized, or have you talked about it?  Sorry he is being difficult - I had a silent war with my husband the other day and it ruined the whole weekend   I hope you make-up soon.

Sort of off-topic, and maybe you've shared this before but I have a hard time keeping track - any news on this long cycle of yours? 

No apologies yet, but I don't anticipate one, honestly. He's the kind to not realize that he even did anything wrong, and then get pissed off if it's pointed out to him. So it's kind of pointless to even bring it up.

I'm hoping to hear back from the doctor today, or sometime this week, with the results of my bloodwork. If it's not my thyroid, she will have me take Provera. We'll see. I just want to get this stupid cycle over with.

FyreFry5

picklesx:

No apologies yet, but I don't anticipate one, honestly. He's the kind to not realize that he even did anything wrong, and then get pissed off if it's pointed out to him. So it's kind of pointless to even bring it up.

I'm hoping to hear back from the doctor today, or sometime this week, with the results of my bloodwork. If it's not my thyroid, she will have me take Provera. We'll see. I just want to get this stupid cycle over with.

 I bet!  Good luck!

StephK

I would be the most upset about the attitude he gave you when you asked.  IMO, that was completely uncalled for.  I would just take a deep breath and when things are less emotional, I would start by letting him know that he hurt your feelings by snapping at you and by hiding the pregnancies from you.

Multiple friends of ours have found out they are pregnant since we've been trying.  Those friends don't know we're trying, but we've been in on the news and I prefer it that way.  I'm sure he was just trying to spare your feelings, but made it worse, by accident.

Good luck, I hope you can get past this with DH soon.

brookelynpaisley

Maybe he was just trying to protect your feelings. I get that your feelings are hurt, but maybe his intentions were good and he doesn't know how to express his justification, because he's discovering that his judgment in not telling you was obviously not a good one. I'd just tell him that he doesn't have to keep information from you and you want to be able to share in the joy and excitement of other women's pregnancies, and you have no hard feelings.

alison2379

I think the "mind your own business" would have really made me mad. I also think that men are not as interested in other people's life events as we are. Engagements, pregnancies, etc, are not popular discussion topics like they are for us ladies.

But I think you're right to say that you're allowed to ask questions and he doesn't need to be rude and snarky about it.